3/10
I'm Afraid Not
25 September 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Like Once Upon A Time in the West, Pinocchio 3000 is an idea that could have worked but simply doesn't. That's not to say that it's horrible; there are some redeeming qualities. I like the idea of adapting old stories such as this for a futuristic setting (think Treasure Planet), it just wasn't done well here. Pinocchio himself looks very awkward with a realistic mouth on an otherwise metallic head and several other characters look similarly awkward. Scamboli (or is it Scamboni, I couldn't tell) appears to have toilet plungers on his head and there was no reason for the fairy to have that weird seahorse-ish lower half. The dialogue is mostly subpar and sometimes painful, while also raising too many questions such as in the scene where Pinocchio and Marlene are seeing who can imagine more and Marlene gets the medal yet Pinocchio is able to calculate that he imagined more, although I did kind of like the ant-arctica joke. I won't go into too much detail but there's quite a lot of things in this movie raise more questions than they answer. The voice acting for Scamboli was surprisingly good but everyone else has an annoying voice. I'd suggest AI for a much better take on Pinocchio-as-a-robot. I also wouldn't mind seeing Unit 12 get a movie.
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