5/10
First Sylvia Kristel, then Sybil Danning - sheesh!
15 July 2020
If I'd had a teacher at college who looked like Sybil Danning, I wouldn't have got much work done. Come to think of it, my teacher was a middle-aged man with a beard, and I still didn't get much work done. Aah, those lazy, hazy college days....

Eric Brown plays Jay Richard, the English student who gets to boff his beautiful, busty professor Diana in exchange for doing a few jobs: varnishing her yacht (not a euphemism) and sneaking into the home of her husband's mother and grandmother to scare the old women enough so that Diane and hubbie Michael (Andrew Prine) can be made executors of the estate. As is par for the course in this kind of trash, things don't go according to plan, with a masked murderer on the loose causing all sorts of problems for poor Jay.

The incredible Ms. Danning is the main reason to watch this otherwise lacklustre thriller, the hard-bodied hottie regularly stripping off to give us a good look at her amazing attributes. Without her to steam up the screen, the film would be largely forgettable, with a dumb plot that will have you screaming at Jay throughout, "Go to the police, NOW!" (but bang Diane one last time before you do).

What starts as a saucy slice of teenage wish-fulfilment slowly turns into a sub-standard '80s slasher, with the bodies piling up, and Jay teaming up with Diane to solve the mystery. The killer is fairly unimposing - far removed from unstoppable giants such as Jason and Michael Myers - and has a tendency to speak like Elmo from Sesame Street, which makes him even less scary.

Unmissable stuff for fans of its voluptuous, frequently naked female star, but as a thriller/horror, it's merely passable.
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