Fatal Beauty (1987)
3/10
Bad 80's movie music and lots of bullet-resistant bad guys
9 November 2021
Sometimes you see a cop-action flick where a bad guy gets shot about 5 times in the torso, and keeps on going, eventually, slowly crumpling up, but not before squeezing off 10 more rounds. Meanwhile, the cops who hit a body with that many rounds never think to put one in the noggin. That's bad when it happens once, but in this movie, it happens over and over again. It's like LA is populated by maniacs with Kevlar skin. Then you have the plot-necessitated multiple occurrences of massive shootouts in public places, where, for the interminable duration of the Whoopi-based action, no other cops show up. Why be so picayune? Only because these mounting implausibilities invade my consciousness and detract from any possible enjoyment. I am instead asking myself why the writers/director couldn't be bothered to stage even remotely believable scenarios. I could go through every scene of this movie, and catalog multiple things that wouldn't happen, don't make sense or are obviously shoehorned to service a lazily constructed plot.

But let's talk about what's really important. This movie is another in a long line of 80's movies with the absolute worst synth-pop, drum machine musical dreck. Even good 80's movies have been dragged down with crap music. Then there's the ugly-ass 80's wardrobe, but what ya' gonna do? I was even wearing that crap back then. But I sure wasn't enjoying synth-pop.
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