1/10
El Crappo Grande
7 October 2023
Two Academy Award nominees, a Grammy Award winning singer, and Scott Glenn get mired in a horrible western that is a chore to endure. Willy (Ronee Blakley) and Pat (Dean Stockwell) move to the scrub country of Texas. Pat was hurt when a box fell on him, so Willy finds herself doing most of the work around their isolated ranch. Up rides Bill (Scott Glenn) for no other reason than to move the story along by suggesting the family move closer to the Rio Grande river. The couple and their two young daughters do so, settling in the new town of Mission. Willy follows through with her dream of owning a store while racist Pat drinks. The Texans worry about Pancho Villa (Freddy Fender?) looting the hamlet, and one night Mission is raided. It turns out Bill has been running guns for Villa when he's not making googly eyes at Willy. The Mexican Army has been putting on peasant clothing and pretending to be Villa's men, then raiding the American side of the border. Bill's captured, and Villa rides to rescue him, but only after Willy shames him into doing so.

This is another film in the public domain so the print is awful but the story is unwatchable. Stockwell tries to perform, and Blakley spends her screen time staring off into space. The screenplay is full of "dramatic" moments that had me giggling- Pat's smashing of his leg brace against a wagon wheel, a rabid coyote attacks one of the daughters, and most of the supporting cast telling Willy what a wonderful person she is. Pat dies...no, not a spoiler, this happens at the beginning of the film, but the way he dies is hilarious. I began talking to the screen, MST3K-style, as the story wore on and on, and nothing happened. Director/co-writer Band did not seem to have any sort of plan when it came to shooting this film. You could hum along with poor Fender as he is forced to sing the awkward title song, or feel embarrassed for the actors as they step on each other's lines and wait for Band to yell "cut." "She Came to the Valley," also known as "She Came FROM the Valley" (whuh?) and "Texas in Flames," is the worst western I have seen since "Apache Blood" and "Texas Rangers." The onscreen talent never had a chance.
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