Yes, a whole war over a literal ton of wheat, in a bunch of hessian bags.
This overflowing wannabe western porta-potty of tripe is a festival of ridiculous wildly contrasting, and grotesquely incompatible ideas. Energy weapons that reload like cowboy western guns, fighting alongside Conan using his axes. Soldiers that cannot hit a target in a 1 by 2m passage, high tech ships that smoke like they are diesel powered, soldiers that behave like they were hired as extras on a F-grade scifi film (oh wait that's true) Fight scenes with energy weapons so close quarters that the fighters would rather hit their enemies with their rifle than shoot them. It's so insanely ridiculous I nearly chewed through my own foot out of frustration.
Then the monologues. Lectures by warriors given to villagers they just met, minutes before. More lectures and 20 second "tragic" back stories that will make you wish the "warriors" telling them were rather killed on the spot by the evil empire, who apparently kill just for sport, and have no real motivation.
Acting so wooden and hollow, you'll feel like you're watching a play about hearding sheep, performed by the society of grave diggers, at your local town bowling alley on a Wednesday night during happy hour.
If you like this film, please, please, for the love of humanity, do not procreate.
This overflowing wannabe western porta-potty of tripe is a festival of ridiculous wildly contrasting, and grotesquely incompatible ideas. Energy weapons that reload like cowboy western guns, fighting alongside Conan using his axes. Soldiers that cannot hit a target in a 1 by 2m passage, high tech ships that smoke like they are diesel powered, soldiers that behave like they were hired as extras on a F-grade scifi film (oh wait that's true) Fight scenes with energy weapons so close quarters that the fighters would rather hit their enemies with their rifle than shoot them. It's so insanely ridiculous I nearly chewed through my own foot out of frustration.
Then the monologues. Lectures by warriors given to villagers they just met, minutes before. More lectures and 20 second "tragic" back stories that will make you wish the "warriors" telling them were rather killed on the spot by the evil empire, who apparently kill just for sport, and have no real motivation.
Acting so wooden and hollow, you'll feel like you're watching a play about hearding sheep, performed by the society of grave diggers, at your local town bowling alley on a Wednesday night during happy hour.
If you like this film, please, please, for the love of humanity, do not procreate.