The Cremators (1972) User Reviews

Impressively bad

[CobraMist · 2/10 · 27 May 2020]

Weird alien life is rolling around and turning people into ash piles. While this sounds like it could be an intriguing premise, don't be fooled this is a truly dull film. Most of the movie involves people talking or just walking around as some shocking reveal music being played anytime there is even a modest advancement in the narrative. The cremation scenes are mostly forgettable with the exception of a few hilarious attempts at acting by some of the victims. But it is not worth even the very short runtime of 75 minutes.

I suppose you could use it as background noise as it will almost never pull your attention away from anything else that you might choose to do.

So bad, it's plain bad

[Leofwine_draca · 3/10 · 10 November 2018]

THE CREMATORS sounds like some kind of nasty drive-in Satanic horror but it turns out be a throwback to 1950s-era sci-fi/disaster movies, albeit made on a non-existent independent budget. Think of the quality of a Larry Buchanan movie and you'll be close. This non-starter involves an alien lifeform invading Earth in the form of a fireball which burns its victims. The special effects are awkward and unsatisfying, and not even cheesy enough to be amusing, while the constant focus on little rocks is laughable. Needless to say that the performances from the no-name cast members are wooden in the extreme.

Cheap-looking and unimpressive

[jamesrupert2014 · 2/10 · 22 January 2024]

Three hundred years ago, something from space fell into the lake giving rise to a giant mobile fireball that appears periodically to roll through the countryside incinerating people and animals. This low-budget time-waster is based on Julian May's 1951 novella 'Dune Roller' (which had been previously recreated as an episode of 'Tales of Tomorrow' (s.1, ep. 15, 1951) and as a BBC audio-drama in 1961). The script, acting and cinematography are amateurish, the simple story doesn't make a lot of sense, and depiction of the roving ball of fire is underwhelming (the repeated scenes of the fiery orb emerging from the lake and its pursuit of the woman in the rowboat are the best parts of the film). The soundtrack is annoyingly intrusive and the frequent ominous audio-flourishes when scenes change quickly become laughable. For tolerant aficionados only.

Goodness gracious...

[BA_Harrison · 1/10 · 8 February 2019]

... great balls of crap!

A burning alien sphere crashes to Earth, the only witnesses an Indian and a fish: the Indian was engulfed by the ball and turned to ash; the fish swam away. So begins this utterly atrocious low-budget sci-fi oddity from director Harry Essex, who is perhaps best known for writing '50s sci-fi classic It Came from Outer Space.

The story kicks off proper three centuries after the arrival of the flaming globe, at the lake into which it sank. It is there that entomologist Dr. Iane Thorne (Marvin Howard) discovers strange minerals that glow and make weird beeping sounds; he shows these to his friend and fellow scientist Dr. Willy Seppel (Eric Allison), but neither can figure out what it is they have found. Further samples are found inside the body of the cat belonging to Thorne's long-haired draft dodger pal Mason (Mason Caulfield). Meanwhile, the alien sphere has been emerging from the lake and attacking people, reducing them to cinders. Can Thorne work out what the hell is going on before the viewer falls asleep?

Essex's direction is lifeless, Howard makes for a bland protagonist, and the film's visual effects are far from special (especially considering the man responsible, Doug Beswick, would go on to much better things). Countless cutaways to the bleeping stones pad out the runtime, and there's a dull romance between Thorne and Seppel's niece Jeanne (aria De Aragon) for good measure. The drawn-out finale, which sees Thorne laying a trap for the glowing orange orb, is completely bereft of tension and excitement.

1/10. If you should happen across this film, be like the fish and swim away.

"You See Me Like I'm Some Kind Of Bug, Right?!"...

[azathothpwiggins · 22 January 2019]

A droning narrator tells us about the legend of THE CREMATORS: Three hundred years ago, giant, flaming cheeezeballs from outer space enjoyed chasing native Americans around, before reducing them to ashes.

Now, Dr. Iane Thorne (Marvin Howard), who writes "bug books", has discovered a glowing rock in his pool, while Mason (aka: "The Hippie") runs around holding cats over his head. Soon, Dr. Thorne is performing a feline autopsy and the local postman is a pile of cinders.

It appears that the rolling orbs of fiery death have returned, for reasons known only to whatever cult of cat-waving hippies threw this "film" together. In no time, unknown non-actors are consumed in flame like so many no-name marshmallows! Romance blooms for Thorne and the first woman he's seen in years. Is there no god in heaven to put a stop to this?

Absurd and terminally dull, this movie is only for those few, brave souls able to withstand a severe brain hammering!

BEWARE: The tedium contained herein could douse the sun! So, wear protective gear!

P. S.- For added "fun", see if you can count the number of times the word "bug" is used!...

Everything about it is cheap and poorly made...and also boring.

[planktonrules · 1/10 · 15 August 2021]

"The Cremators" is a very, very cheaply made film...and it looks it. The cinematography and editing are inept, the actors are obviously untrained and out of their league, and the special effects.....well, they ARE special...just not in a good way!

In this cheapo movie, there is a giant ball of flaming death that appears when folks pick up weird looking glowing rocks that look a bit like opals. The ball of death rolls over people and leaves ashes behind. And, a bunch of zombie-like actors try to stop it.

Sadly, while this is a very bad film, it's not unintentionally funny like some bad movies. In other words, if you are looking for a laugh, it might not fit that bill. In other words....it's just bad and incredibly dull. In particular, I think the worst thing about it are the edits...which just seem random and often unnecessary....but pretty much everything is bad about this one.

The Cremators

[BandSAboutMovies · 2/10 · 6 March 2023]

Julian May sold her first professional fiction, a short story called "Dune Roller," to Astounding Science Fiction which appeared in 1951. The name J. C. May was listed as the author and it was accompanied by her original illustrations. May was unique in that not many women participated in science fiction fandom; she was also the first woman to chair a worldcon, the Tenth World Science Fiction Convention in Chicago in 1952. Over her lifetime, she wrote thousands of science encyclopedia articles and more than 250 books for children and young adults. These non-fiction books, under her own name and a variety of pen names covered the worlds of history, science and pop culture.

One of her pseudonyms changed my life. As Ian Thorne, she was responsible for writing ten orange hardcovered books for Crestwood. Once you see these covers, if you read them, you will be transported back in time.

Under her married name Judy Dikty - they spelled it incorrectly in the credits as Ditky - she is credited for the story in this movie. The good news is that after years of writing as a job, she got back into science fiction by attending a convention after moving to the west coast. After creating an alien costume for a con party, she got so many ideas of what that creature would be like she started her Galactic Milieu Series, which was a series of eight books published between 1981 and 1996.

Harry Essex is credited as the director and writer of this movie. He's probably better known for writing It Came from Outer Space, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and The Sons of Katie Elder, but by this time in his career, he was directing. I, The Jury; Mad at the World and, yes, Octaman are the other three that he helmed.

Originally released as The Dune Rollers, what emerges is a movie that's, well, disjointed at best. A giant ball of fire has dropped from space and it slowly, ever so slowly rolls over people and gets bigger, kind of like Katamari Damacy. Except nowhere near as interesting, as Dr. Iane Thorne (Marvin Howard) sleepwalks through solving this. Is that where May got her pen name from?

His love interest Jeanne doesn't get much to do either. She's played by Maria De Aragon who shows up in plenty of 70s exploitation like Wonder Women, Teenager and Blood Mania. Perhaps her best known role is one that she was not credited for: she was Greedo in Star Wars.

Weak, bland, unexciting

[I_Ailurophile · 2/10 · 8 September 2023]

Oh good grief.

Low production values. Special effects that are twenty years out of date. Dull and sometimes flailing direction. Humble and bland writing. A monster movie with a rather unimaginative monster. The transparent themes of human consumption of resources and destruction of life are admirable, but can 100% be found in other, far better films. We've seen this film both before and since, many times over, and done in ways that were better and more interesting. There are few standards by which 'The cremators' isn't a dud.

I guess the filming locations are nice. Some parts of the music would be okay if they weren't so repetitive; others are just overdone. The cast do their job on a baseline level. There is a story here, but it's meagerly written, and plot development is piecemeal. Between the sequencing, pacing, and the mere fact of some of the more questionable ideas that were thrown in, a title that is barely over seventy minutes long crawls laboriously. I suppose there are some good ideas here, but are they worth so much as to warrant sitting through an affair that's mostly so uniformly taxing as a viewing experience? I don't think so.

'The cremators' isn't the worst thing you could watch, yet this is a picture that is wholly unable to carry a spark, or build any excitement, even in those moments when it's mostly clearly trying to, including the climax. All the sincere effort that anyone put into it can't overcome a flat tone, weak construction, and notions that couldn't be picked out in a crowd. It's not that it's abjectly bad, but that there's simply no reason to sit for it in the first place. Yawn.

An enjoyably dreadful piece of sci-fi schlock

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 14 May 2008]

An evil lethal bright orange yellow fireball comes to earth and goes on a rampage in a remote lakeside area; the flaming thing rolls over various hapless folks and reduces them to ashes. It's up to nerdy scientist Dr. Iane Thorne (blandly played by Marvin Howard) to figure out a way to stop it before it's too late. Writer/director Harry Essex, who also wrote the scripts for the classic 50's fright features "It Came from Outer Space" and "The Creature from the Black Lagoon," pukes forth a 50's style micro-budget clunker that boasts all the necessary bad movie vices to qualify as a real four-star stinker: the flat acting from a lame no-name cast (flash-in-the-pan 70's drive-in flick starlet Maria De Aragon in particular just takes up space as fetching love interest heroine Jeanne), sluggish pacing, ragged editing, rough, grainy cinematography by Robert Caramico, meandering narrative, a roaring, overwrought score by Robert Freeman, several ludicrous touches (the fireball stalks people before it kills them!), and a hackneyed "it ain't over yet!" ending all combine together to create one laughably lousy and leaden lump of a total stiff. Only Doug Deswick's surprisingly nifty special effects manage to impress. A shamefully unsung crud anti-classic.