The Muppet Show (1976–1981)

Richard Hunt: Statler, Scooter, Janice, Beaker, Wayne, Sweetums, Miss Piggy, Pig, Pigs, Chicken, Gladys, Miss Piggy's Dancing Partner, Pig Dancers, Bubba, Bobby Benson, Boppity, Cow, Turkey, Whatnot, Zucchini Brother, Blue Frackle, British Man, Bun-Bun Brother, Catgut, Frog, Gills Brother, Jugband Member, Lyle the Dog, Mean Mama, Mildred, Muppaphones, Penguin, Pig Crew Member, Prairie Dog, Shark, Snake Frackle, The Arab, Whatnot Dancer, Additional Muppets, Afghan Hound, African Mask, Aquarius Singer, Arab, Archaeologist, Asparagus, Baby, Bar Patron, Bartender, Beagle, Beaker clones, Beautiful Day Monster, Behemoth, Big Mama, Billy the Bear, Bossman, British Chap Pig, Bruno, Caterpillar, Cauliflower, Chickens, Clive Cahuenga, Cowboy, Crocodile, Dead Ear Dick, Doctor Pig, Dog, Droop, Feather Boas, French Bread, Frog Scout, Frogs, George the Janitor, Ghost, Gingerbread Man, Girl Monster, Gladys the Cafeteria Lady, Gloat, Goldfish Hunter, Gorgon Heap, Gramps, Grasshopper, Half of the Two-Headed Singer, Handcuff Salesman, Harold, Hat, J.P. Grosse, Japanese Cake, Lenny the Lizard, Les, Lizard, Lobster, Lubbock Lou, Luncheon Counter Monster, Mary Louise, Mean Mama's Baby, Merdlidop, Miss Kitty, Ohboy Bird, Otter, Pair of Teeth...

Photos 

Quotes 

• Waldorf : How do they do it?

  Statler : How do we watch it?

  Waldorf : *Why* do we watch it?

  Statler : [Breaking the fourth wall]  Why do *you* watch it?

• Waldorf : These seats are awful.

  Statler : Why? Can't you see anything?

  Waldorf : That's the problem. I can see everything.

• Waldorf : Just when you think this show is terrible something wonderful happens.

  Statler : What?

  Waldorf : It ends.

• Statler : This show is awful.

  Waldorf : Terrible.

  Statler : Disgusting.

  Waldorf : See you next week?

  Statler : Of course.

• Statler : I like that last number.

  Waldorf : What did you like about it?

  Statler : It was the *last* number!

• Waldorf : Well, you gotta give them credit.

  Statler : Why's that?

  Waldorf : Well, they're gonna keep on doing it till they get it right.

• Statler : Please don't make me watch it.

• Rita Moreno : Kermit I was wondering if we could just forget the cue cards and just ad lib it.

  Kermit the Frog : Ad lib it? Yes I don't mind doing that but there are others who may take offense.

  Rita Moreno : Like who?

  Kermit the Frog : Like the guy who holds the cue cards.

  Sweetums : Nice lady not want Sweetums to hold cue cards?

  Rita Moreno : Uh no.

  Sweetums : Nice lady want Sweetums to hold something else?

  Rita Moreno : Sure you can hold anything you want.

  Sweetums : Great! That best offer Sweetums have all week.

  [Sweetums picks up Rita like a football and walks off with her while Kermit shrieks] 

  Kermit the Frog : That's the problem with guests on this show. They seem to get carried away.

• Statler : Now why did you do that to poor Fozzie?

  Waldorf : Do what? I really was on the Titanic.

  Statler : I know. You still have the dress you wore so they'd let you in the life boat. Heh heh heh.

  Waldorf : D'oh!

• Statler : What have you got for an opening act this time? A Chinese gorilla dancing ballet?

  Kermit : Cancel the opening number.

  Chinese Gorilla : Dong day do dai dai do...

• Statler : Ever heard of pig on bikes?

  Waldorf : I've never heard of road hogs.

• Waldorf : Tell me, Statler. Do you have any naval experience?

  Statler : Well, I once saved a rat from drowning.

  Waldorf : Really, how?

  Statler : I gave him mouth to mouse resuscitation!

• Waldorf : [after the song "Happy Feet"]  You know, on the show that wasn't funny.

  Statler : True, true.

  Waldorf : But on a record, it doesn't even make sense!

• Statler : I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't watched it.

  Waldorf : Believe what?

  Statler : I don't know - I wasn't watching.

• Waldorf : I can't believe those rats were responsible for this show.

  Statler : Those rats were also responsible for the bubonic plague. Dohohohoh!

• Waldorf : Pay up! They made it through another one

  Statler : Double or nothing next week's show?

  Waldorf : You're on!

• Waldorf : Well, this show certainly doesn't lay any eggs.

  Chickens : Bwak bawk bawk!

  Statler : Wanna bet?

• Waldorf : [after the ending theme plays]  Uh, Statler?

  Statler : Yeah, what?

  Waldorf : Is that it?

  Statler : Yes, it's over. How'd you like it?

  Waldorf : Uh, I don't know. I slept through the whole thing.

  Statler : Well, you didn't miss much!

• Waldorf : You are my sunshine! My only sunshine.

  Statler : Why you old fool!

  Waldorf : What?

  Statler : I'm not your son and my name's not Shine.

  Waldorf : And he calls me an old fool?

• Waldorf : Yeah, the show is good for what ails me.

  Statler : Yeah? What does ail you?

  Waldorf : Insomnia.

• Fozzie : I don't got rhythm.

  Rowlf : That's for sure.

  Fozzie : I don't got rhythm.

  Rowlf : Who can ask for anything more?

  Statler : We could!

  Waldorf : Yeah! Earplugs!

• Statler : Well the show tonight certainly didn't lay an egg.

  Chickens : Bawk!

  Waldorf : Wanna bet?

• Statler : You know I never liked this show's theme music.

  Waldorf : Niether did I.

  Kermit : You promised!