Carnets d'ado (TV Series) You'll Get Over It (2002) User Reviews

Getting Over 'It'

[NJMoon · 7/10 · 16 October 2005]

YOU'LL GET OVER IT is yet another in a wave of French coming out films to hit the American video market. They all seem to cover familiar territory - even overlapping in specifics at times - but each has a unique point of view. This is another teleplay for French TV, coming two years after JUST A QUESTION OF LOVE, which set a pretty high mark for the genre. Here, a high school swim team champ named Vincent is 'outed' (somewhat inadvertently) by a guy who seems infatuated with him, but unable to get a proper handle on his own feeling (conveniently, for the script). The story may or may not be autobiographical because both the lead character and the script writer share the same name (even surname). While the parents in JUST A QUESTION OF LOVE reacted as if their son had murdered babies, Vincent's parents shrug their shoulders and 'get over it' in just a few frames. This leaves the storyline to Vincent's own 'coming to terms' with his sexuality, which (turns out) isn't all that novel or (sadly) dramatic.

The film also seems to have no problem with showing Vincent's carnal relations with his 'girlfriend' Naomie, but shies away from any overt sexual contact between Vincent and boys. Pandering to a hetero audience? Absolutely. The author conveniently relies upon the 'swim team' setting for it's share of male titillation, a tact much more successful employed in THE MAN I LOVE (1997). The closest kin of this film seems to be the English GET REAL, which was far more skillful in relating to it's central figure than OVER IT. Vincent's true personality remains a bit unexplored and the script doesn't do much to help. Worth seeing - especially in context with the other films mentioned - but don't expect too much. If you do, well -- you'll get over it (you'll see).

generally good coming-of-age film

[Buddy-51 · 7/10 · 30 April 2005]

A sensitive film about both "coming out" and "coming of age," "You'll Get Over It" tells of a 17-year-old French boy's efforts to deal with his homosexuality. A championship swimmer, Vincent is a popular, well-liked kid at school and the apple of his parents' eyes at home. The problem is that Vincent is living a lie, keeping his sexuality a secret from his family, his two best friends, and the world at large. When Vincent is seen "consorting" with a suspected gay student, all hell breaks loose and Vincent is forced to deal with not only the reactions of those around him but the roiling emotions taking place deep within himself about what exactly it means to be gay.

Although the film feels a little too pat, contrived and melodramatic at times - kind of like an After School Special with subtitles and occasional flashes of nudity - "You'll Get Over It" wins us over with the delicacy, insight and compassion it brings to its subject. It shows us the myriad and sometimes surprising reactions from the people in Vincent's life - his parents, his "girlfriend," his best friend, his team mates, his swim coach and his teachers. The amount of outright persecution Vincent has to endure from his fellow students shows that even France - so often thought of as being in the forefront of all things sexual - has a long way to go in accepting gays. The movie also deals with Vincent's own conflicting feelings about being gay, as he contemplates a future filled with what he imagines to be loneliness and unhappiness. Like many gay people, Vincent lives in as much of a state of denial at times as the people around him.

The performances are excellent, particularly those by Julien Baumgartner as Vincent and Julia Maravel as Noemie, the girl who loves him and wants to help him, but who finds it hard to let go of him even after she discovers the truth. Baumgartner has a very expressive face that allows us to understand and identify with the external and internal struggles taking place in his character's life.

For the most part, "You'll Get Over It" has a nice, naturalistic feel to it. Director Fabrice Cazeneuve keeps his camera largely hand-held and close to the actors, which heightens the sense of realism and intimacy this type of story needs to be effective. Unfortunately, the plot mechanics do intrude a bit from time to time, and the ending, while touching, does feel a little too conveniently upbeat to be entirely convincing. Still, "You'll Get Over It" serves as a valuable plea for understanding and acceptance, and that is a salutary goal for any film.

More straight erotic scenes than gay ones, in a gay movie?!

[dutchtom1 · 7/10 · 17 April 2004]

Although I enjoyed watching this movie at first, on second thought I noticed quite a few inconsistencies. The story is about a gay teenager who is outed in school, and how his life is made quite impossible because of this. The young protagonist, Vincent, finds himself ousted from his 'straight' peers, and neither does he feel at home in the 'gay' scene of Paris. The screenplay writer has done a good job at showing how even in modern Western societies, where laws are more and more granting equal rights to gay people, real life is still a far cry from egalitarian. Homosexuality is accepted, as long as you wait till you finish school, and don't demonstrate romantic displays of kissing in public, except in gay ghetthoes like the Parisian Marais. Whereas the screenplay-writer has tried to make this point, the director of the film then goes on to make exactly the mistake of treating straight erotic scenes and romantic storylines, differently to the gay ones. There are many and long 'sex' scenes between Vincent and his girl-friend, whom we constantly see nude on the bed, but very few and not very explicit gay 'sex' scenes. If we have to see Vincent give oral sex to his girlfriend, why can we not see the same between him and another guy? When Vincent meets up with his sex-buddy, we see a few quick kisses, which are immediately followed by him leaving the shower. The 'romantic love story between Vincent and the Jeremy Elkaim character is also rather sparsely portrayed. More focus is given to the the demise of the relation between Vincent and his 'girlfriend', rather than the blossoming of love between the two guys, which has been the catalyst for his outing in the first place.

*spoiler*

The final scene is supposed to tell us that Vincent has finally reached 'freedom'. Vincent and his new boyfriend are seen running in the park, in love, but when they tumble down on the grass, just before they 'french' kiss each other properly, the camera moves away, and the end credits appear.

Why have the gay erotic scenes and the gay romantic storyline not been portrayed equally to the straight ones? It smacks of internalized homophobia of the director. A movie that's supposed to be about the liberation and equality of gays, should then not demonstrate exactly the opposite visually, or should I say by lack of showing it!

A pity, I think the screenplay deserved a better directorial execution.

Some questions that are left unanswered:

If Vincent has to train for a sports scholarship by himself because his swim mates cannot stand to be with a 'gay' in the same pool, then how will Vincent deal with this problem when he goes to University, where he no doubt will encounter the same discrimination? Unless he keeps himself in the closet there again.

The excuse given to why Jeremy Elkaim's character did not kiss Vincent at first, is rather odd. Why could their relationship not develop properly?

In the end I even start to believe that this is a gay movie for a straight public, and the director wants to spare that audience too much explicit gay material. A decision which is quite offensive towards gay people.

Being Pulled Backward In A Slingshot

[thomasdosborneii · 14 July 2003]

This is a beautiful film about a seventeen-year-old swimming champion who is sexually outed in high school, and rather than deny his gayness, admits it and then gets to work dealing with it. I saw this at a gay film festival under the name of "You'll Get Over It," but I gather it was originally shown on prime time television in France, where I hope it reached a broad audience. Bravo to the French, who seem to be the masters of all things regarding love and sensuality.

The lead character's name, Vincent Molina, is the also the name of the writer of the screenplay. I wonder how autobiographical this story is?

Generally, I wouldn't recommend that a young gay guy come out until he is free and on his own in the world, not living under the roof of his parents or still in repressive, dangerous high school. But then again, to follow such a recommendation would be to waste so many precious, significant years when the hormones are screaming and the participants are at the peak of their physical beauty. How many of us would love to have the chance to go back to those days and this time do them right? Sure, as this movie so well shows, coming out at such an early age is extremely difficult emotionally, socially, and physically, and to do so is definitely beyond the abilities of most. But to do so is also phenomenally empowering to those who manage it. The huge set-back and loss in status that seems to accompanying coming out is later revealed to be merely pulled backward in a SLINGSHOT, after which there is a letting go and a powerful projection forward that puts one far, far ahead in the game.

Vincent, the swimmer, has a lot to lose. He's a beloved athletic champion with adoring fans, he has a luscious girlfriend who loves him and with whom he is having sex, he has respectful teammates and a best friend, and parents for whom he is the apple of their eye. He also has a male sex partner on the sly, but even though Vincent's true nature is better known by the sex partner, that's about all that the sex partner knows or cares about, so the relationships that truly matter are with the others in Vicent's life who did not know about his true sexual orientation.

Despite the beauty and sensitivity of the film, and the story of the hero being a gay student instead of it being a misfit, what really keeps this from being a typical teenage coming out story is the masterful ability of the lead actor to express the complexity of the emotions via his use of the interplay of subtle facial expressions. A lot of the time he seems to be in a state of blank questioning, as if he were not sure what to do next, and that if he were going to proceed, it would have to be very cautiously. And yet, it is clear that from now on, he will only proceed genuinely--he was aware that previously he had been using a mask (and it was his only shame), but now he isn't sure how to dispense with the mask or what will compose his face now that the mask is gone, he only knows that he won't be able to use a mask any more. His every step would take him into unknown territory, and the actor genuinely expresses the reality of those insecurities and the feelings of hopes, fears, wishes, disappointments, hurts, promises, comfort-seeking, sexual interest, and more, all playing out a fascinating symphony across his face.

The movie is clear that the burden of self-identity rests clearly on the shoulders of the individual, but it also underscores the principle that helpmates will come out of the woodwork to support a genuine individual who is willing to be real. The losses are painful, but the gains bring an overriding joy that is beyond measure.

Coming out

[jotix100 · 7/10 · 30 October 2006]

Vincent, the teen aged student at a French high school in a suburb of Paris, struggles with himself because he knows that, deep down inside, he is gay and has no idea about how to come out to his friends and to his own family. Vincent didn't need to worry about it, his school mates will take care of that for him when they see Benjamin, the strange new boy at their school who is obviously attracted by Vincent.

Naomie, Vincent's girlfriend has no clue of what's going on with him, even when he begins acting strange. Vincent's cover suddenly comes to an end when someone decided to write on the school's wall that Vincent is gay, something he was not prepared to do. Suddenly, his whole world comes tumbling down and it's his own brother who tells his parents about Vincent's sexual preference.

Fabrice Cazeneuve, the director, presents the story of Vincent and how he tries to cope with his homosexuality. It's curious the screen play was written by Vincent Molina, whose story this might be, but since nothing is mentioned about it, we can only assume he was writing about his own experience. In fact, Vincent in the film is called Vincent Molina. For this being a French movie, the emphasis is on heterosexual sex concerning Noemie, the girlfriend, as she goes to bed with Vincent, who is trying to cover up his problem, and then, after finding out, she is seen bedding Stephane, a mutual friend.

The film, which was made for French television, doesn't break any new ground. We have seen better movies based on similar situations conceived by American filmmakers. There are no shocking gay scenes in the movie, which seems to be of two minds about the subject. On the one hand, the relationship with Noemie plays a big part and Vincent's sexual exploration with Bruno, the boy he thought he liked, takes second place. Vincent is totally repulsed by what he experiences when he meets Bruno at the gay bars of the Marais. When he tries to be bold with Benjamin, his effort is met with skepticism from the other young man.

Julien Baumgartner, appears as Vincent, the teen ager who realizes he is gay. Julia Marval, a beautiful young actress plays Noemie, the girl that loves Vincent. Jeremie Elkaim, is seen as Benjamin, the boy that awakens a passion in Vincent, and who at the end seems to be the one that truly loved him for himself.

I had expected more

[Cineastin · 6/10 · 25 August 2004]

I expected a lot of this movie, that is why I was terribly

disappointed. The German title "Alles wegen Benjamin" made me

think that Benjamin was one of the main characters, but in fact, he

didn't appear in most of the film. I didn't even understand why he

should have been the reason for that suddenly everybody thought

Vincent was gay. I read a lot of plot summaries before watching

this movie, and it always seemed to me as if there would be a kind

of relationship between Vincent and Benjamin. At least, Vincent

had a sort-of-boyfriend, Bruno, but he was a very weak character

and not so important for the story. It was not a bad movie after all, quite realistic and sensitive. I

probably would have liked it a lot if I hadn't expected more to

happen between the two boys. "À Cause D'un Garçon" was one of

the better kind of coming-out movies, although there were still

many things that could have been better. But only because it didn't

fulfill my imaginations, this doesn't have to mean that nobody will

like it!

Not only excellent: useful, too !

[TomHobbes · 9/10 · 25 March 2002]

It definitely was very risky to shoot a movie for prime-time Network television with such a sensitive subject. The director, Fabrice Cazeneuve, and all those who contributed deserve congratulations for that. But the most important is that they did not only tried, they succeeded, and made a *good* movie. Vincent is a 17 year old guy like most 17 year old guys. Everybody would think his primary distinction is to be the best swimmer of his high school team. But the hidden truth is that Vincent is gay, a truth that is suddenly revealed to everybody in the high school, which will change his life... This could have been a terrible movie. Its makers could have been too shy and erase all controversy. They could have only achieved to provoke. But, thanks to a marvelously, sensibly written script, they managed to walk the thin line in the middle. Most of what happens on the screen seems true, the characters definitely look like the people you live with every day. Congrats also have to go to the actors. Julien Baumgartner, Julia Maraval, Jérémy Elkaïm, François Comar and the rest of the cast are perfect, delivering a very touching and subtle performance.

"A cause d'un garçon" reaches the goal its authors probably set for themselves. The movie can both help straight people to understand and accept the gay people around them, and allow gay people to think to their own stories, maybe even incite them to make their coming out.

If only TV could produce more movies like this!

Same story, good retelling

[joelglevi · 9/10 · 20 February 2006]

Well, we've seen this same story how many times now? But this film is a sensitive and realistic retelling. Well-written, -acted, and -executed. I was moved, and what's more important than that? Some minor drawbacks: (1) the soundtrack is an atrocious, Casio-quality distraction better suited for porn; (2) speaking of porn, I have no objection to nudity, but it seems strange that all the sex scenes are heterosexual in a gay-themed film, and (3) the subtitles are terrible. Even with my limited French, it was clear that a lot of meaning is lost in the translation. And, for an American the very British-English subtitles are jarring in a film about teens (lots of "fancy that, chap"). Do English teens talk like that? I noticed a lot of French slang, but the translation is stilted and, well, British. Worth a rental.

a real enjoyable French TV film about a lad's coming out

[jaybob · 8/10 · 3 June 2007]

It seems that French TV films about Teenagers coming out Gay, are much more adult & less sensationalistic than ours here in the US.

We have a young 17 year old High School student & a champion on its swim team, inadvertently brought out by another student. The film concerns itself with the various reactions of his family, fellow students & team members,friends, both male & one loves female student. Julien Baumgartner is our young hero in only his 3rd role.The lad is very handsome & can act, he may become a major player in the future.

The acting & all the production credits are quite good. The only quibble I have we have one tame hetero sex scene BUT no gay one.

Ratings *** (out of 4) 87 points (out of 100) IMDb 8 (out of 10)

Coming out, French style, gets a standard (but worthwhile) treatment

[Chris Knipp · 24 July 2004]

"You'll Get Over It" ("À Cause d'un garcon") isn't half the film Téchiné's "Wild Reeds" is. But precisely because it works on a smaller canvas and is basically limited to the gay coming out theme, it has a special appeal for the gay audience. The film has had minimal distribution in the US, but will do well on the rental market. You have to admit that though it's nice to have a straightforward French coming out film, this one doesn't deal with the issue of the public image in school as firmly as the English "Get Real" does, nor does it deal with all the social and personal and physical issues of coming out as well as the American 'Edge of Seventeen' does. Nonetheless it does contain some peculiarly French aspects that give it special interest.

Though Benjamin (Jérémie Elkaïm), -- the provocative, sexy boy who tempts Vincent (Julien Baumgartner) to kiss him, then pulls back and the next day meanly outs him -- isn't the main character, he certainly is the deus ex machina, and hence the French title, "Because of a Boy," does make more sense. Besides, at the end Benjamin is about to become Vincent's new lover.

The old lover invites Vincent to come meet him at a gay bar in the Marais, and that attempt to master a gay scene and acquire a genuine gay support group is a terrible failure. The bar is depicted as a real meat rack where the young, fresh Vincent is seen purely as "merchandise." There's no hope of camaraderie, and Vincent flees in horror. A complete contrast to the trajectory of "Edge of Seventeen" and "Queer As Folk," in both of which the ingénue's finding a niche in a gay community is a major element of his successful coming out process.

It's pretty pathetic that in a French school they don't know the word "gay" yet, and everybody refers to Vincent as a "pédé," which comes from pédéraste and suggests a child abuser, but has to be translated by its closest equivalent in the context, "fag."

French attitudes may have their limitations, but Vincent hasn't got it so bad. He's a swim team star. He has a cute girlfriend and a straight best friend who both remain loyal after he's outed. The girlfriend, Noémie (Julia Maraval), being French, has no illusions – once she's been disillusioned, that is -- but, being French, is able to provide plenty of rational conversation to help Vincent understand what's going on in his life. She's also the one he runs to for consolation after each of his mini-crises. (The girlfriend in "Edge of Seventeen" also had conversations but they were a tad less rational.) The toughest part of the whole process for Vincent, perhaps, are the rebuffs and mean behavior of Benjamin, and above all the cruel rejections he gets from his mates on the swim team, which almost force him to withdraw from competition. Vincent's resentful "chaumeur" (jobless) brother is really resentful not so much of the gayness but of all the attention Vincent gets no matter what's going on with him.

An interesting side issue – also something typical of the French milieu, is Vincent's literature teacher. The man, who comes across as soulful and cool in class, and whom the other faculty members may correctly guess is gay, nonetheless is closeted, and when he's asked to try to counsel Vincent, absolutely refuses; later he approaches Vincent clandestinely (you'd think they were spies) to admit how he is and offer odd, furtive encouragement.

It's the straight swim coach who brings Vincent out of his funk on the basis of neutrality: "chacun à son gout" is his guiding principle: "Let's leave our personal lives out of this; we have a job to do: we want to win." Isn't this, also, a typically French approach -- not affirmative action but the live-and-let-live philosophy?

As for Vincent's parents, they're splendid. Both declare that they love him no matter what, and even go so far as to timidly inquire if some day he will 'live openly with another man.' How often has this come up in a gay coming out film? The French think ahead. Of course, Vincent, who's pretty confused, can't really answer them yet. He still half wishes he could stick with Noémie, whom he's just had sex with for the first time when Benjamin outs him. Poor Noémie; a quick fling with Vincent's best friend lacks magic, and she winds up going off to be an au pair girl in America, fearing that the food will make her turn into a blimp.

Everything is really a bit too easy in "You'll Get Over It." He "gets over it" way too quickly. But despite the claims of mainstream writers who profess to be utterly bored with multiple treatments of it, the gay coming out experience is still new enough on screen to need treatments for each language and each milieu, and this one deserves its small place in the canon.

More should have been said, but you can't go wrong with cute gay boys :)

[matt_mcl · 27 September 2003]

I'll never get tired of cute-gay-boys-coming-out stories, and this is no exception. But it left me a little hollow. The storyline with dealing with his parents is left unfinished, as it is especially with his brother, who rejects him seemingly out of homophobia but whose true issues are revealed, and undealt-with, in his last scene. The subplots with the homophobic teammates, the sympathetic teacher, and the older sex partner were also left as loose ends.

The scene with the creepy Marais was completely gratuitous, with friends of Vincent's sex partner who fling themselves at him in a way that seemed not just slimy but completely unrealistic, as well.

In all, I thought that "Get Real" was a more masterful treatment of a very similar subject, and "Edge of Seventeen" better still. But this one is certainly a feast for the eyes, and if you like the "aawwwwwww! he's cute and gay and 17 and coming out!" factor as much as I do, this won't waste your time.

honest perspective

[Kirpianuscus · 2 January 2023]

I admitt, the presence in cast of Julien Baumgartner was the initial main motif to see this film. The basic virtue of it - beautiful acting of Julia Maraval.

A simple story of highschool. A young swimmer , a dark secret, a sort of trap and the effort to resist against homophobia of his mates and brother.

Few admirable scenes - the reaction to the delicate sugestions of literature teacher beins splendid for its high realism, like the self examination of his body front to mirror.

A honest perspective, with a too sweet end , a poem about friendship, beautiful for gentle manner to reflect a bitter reality and for the nuances of teen efforts to answer to the near people.

Awesome, Great!!

[jajajaboy123 · 27 June 2009]

I think that's all I've to say: Awesome, Great!!

It is a very romantic drama, well done. Loved the romantic and sexy music they used, I liked the way they add humor ( a little bit of comedy), eroticism, romance...It was perfect... And LOVED the end. I think this is the first gay-drama movie that I've seen that doesn't end in tragedy. It is not a happy ending at all because not all characters end in happiness, but it definitely shows that gay people can be more than what people think. Gays can overcome all things in life.

And also,both the main character and the "new guy at school" are very handsome. Great movie, hot actors (and actresses too), great plot, good development (not that so great but still good)...and...a little bit short for me...But, as Sullivan commented...it was useful. (To know more about what I mean read Sullivan's comment: "Not only excellent: useful, too!" in this same site.

Only a film

[Vincentiu · 28 August 2010]

About the love in the nuances of a teenager's life. About rules and shadows of a gesture, about the holes of public image, about victory and the freedom. Complicated and subtle, delicate and naive. Slice of a coming up in the silk of happy-end. Not a movie about gay condition but about choices, expectation and the inside solution. About a boy and his fragile world. About the small gestures as circle of stones.A drama, an answer or a Chopin fragment. Every definition is OK. It is not spectacular and not river of solutions. May be a confession. But every eye, every mind discovers another thing. So, only a film. French, like a summer morning. Madlene, piece of loisir, strange subject. Or only section in a life way. Ordinary world and the end like part of very old story.