Hatsujô kateikyôshi: Sensei no aijiru (2003) User Reviews

loopy Japanese farce

[Buddy-51 · 7/10 · 7 August 2007]

It's hard to know just what to make of the Japanese film, "The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai." Is it a parody of a softcore porn flick or just a softcore porn flick itself? I tend to think it's the former, since, along with its myriad (and fairly graphic) simulated sex scenes, the film is also a wildly funny, tongue-in-cheek absurdist farce, replete with social criticism and political commentary for the deeper thinkers in the crowd. Not all of it works equally well, but you at least gotta' give 'em props for trying.

Sachiko Hanai is an attractive young tutor with what a polite person might describe as an "active interest in sexual expression." Despite her job as a teacher, Sachiko is no great shakes in the brains department, until, that is, she is accidentally shot in the forehead by a secret agent from North Korea. Due to the bullet's strategic placement in the cerebral cortex, Sachiko suddenly becomes a super genius, able to comprehend French philosophy, complex laws of physics and arcane mathematical equations with no trouble whatsoever. She also develops a paranormal ability to peer into the unseen mysteries of the universe and to foretell future events. Her condition, however, does not curtail her appetite for sex; in fact, if anything, her newfound intelligence seems only to exacerbate it.

Indeed, much of the fun of "Sachiko Hanai" derives from the incongruous juxtaposition of raw sexuality with intellectual pretentiousness. There's something immensely funny about watching people make passionate love while debating the finer points of dialectical materialism and String Theory or using Susan Sontag and Noam Chomsky as aphrodisiacs. The actors help to pull it off by playing their scenes with a straight-faced, deadpan seriousness that enhances the humor.

The plot gets even weirder when Sachiko finds herself in possession of the cloned, self-animated finger of George W. Bush and the machine that would allow it to unleash an arsenal of deadly nuclear weapons on an unsuspecting world. How's that for a storyline?

I frankly have no idea what this spy thriller cum sex comedy is really all about, but I had a great deal of fun watching it just the same.

Wonderful oddity, then downhill from there

[boomaga1 · 6/10 · 26 October 2006]

A lot of soft-core sex, yes... after about the fifth sex scene they become not only gratuitous, but untitillating and annoying. In fact, some of the sex just blatantly screams "fanservice" (anime term).

The politics are heavy-handed and sledgehammer style. Yes, W.'s there, playing a demonic presence - but somehow it's less insulting to him than, say, a European movie would've been.

Great bizarre surreal stuff in the first 45 minutes. Kind of liked where it was going.

There's a lot of it that reminded me of manga mixed with 60's Italian surreal trippy movies. But then the last 1/2 of the movie just seems like they ran out of money and ideas.

After it hits the hour mark, you start to feel the momentum running down... some of the best ideas that you expect to be going somewhere just unravel. Characters are used up and disposed of, or sometimes just disposed of. A whole scene plays out in a cave that I thought would never ever ever end. I don't mind that they didn't spoon-feed the essential message of the film but... What WAS the message ? No clue. If any Amer/Euro etc. movie started dropping philosophy-bombs like this in an attempt to prove how smart it is, it'd be laughed off the street. But since they're spouted by a kawaii Japanese girl, well, then, bless her heart.

A strange title sequence at the end of the end credits, too.

Some budgetary constraints are very apparent - sound effects, many editing points, and one (I hesitate to even call it) shootout was hilariously awful. Some very cheap makeup jobs.

I compare this to Kiyoshi Kurosawa's "Cure" - they're different kinds of movie but "Cure" also has a surreal sense - the characters feel like real people and it's terrifying. "Sachiko" just leaves me... pfft. nah. Good enough.

Emi Kuroda is absolutely tremendous

[christopher-underwood · 7/10 · 6 February 2009]

Well what ever can one say!? If ever a country is awarded a trophy for making the most jaw dropping films, that country will undoubtedly be Japan. Partly it is a cultural difference and the fact that until fairly recently the Japanese hardly stepped outside their own country or partook of another peoples cultures, to then find an American presence within their nation after World War 2, has created some fascinating contradictions. This colourful extravaganza is part erotic, part silly, part funny and also attempting a heady mix of politics and philosophy. Not always successful (possibly because of budgetary restraints) this is never less than great fun and the good/bad girl at the centre, played by adult video star, Emi Kuroda is absolutely tremendous. Her looks and her performance that is. References to the Iraq war and the stuff with President bush's finger are maybe pushing things but this is still well worth a look, even if only because it certainly is that little bit different.

CRAZY

[BandSAboutMovies · 7/10 · 10 January 2021]

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai started life as a pink film - a term that refers to any Japanese film that includes nudity or sex - called Horny Home Tutor: Teacher's Love Juice. The producers allowed Mitsuru Meike to turn it into a full length film that would eventually play at international film festivals.

Make no mistake, this is one of the stranger films you'll watch. Also, if you don't watch much pornography, one filled with an obscene amount of body fluids.

Sachiko Hanai (Emi Kuroda) is a cosplay callgirl who often dresses like a teacher. While relaxing at a cafe after attending to a clint, she witnesses a gun battle between a Middle Eastern and North Korean man that ends with her shot in the head. However, instead of dying - for some reason, she was taking selfies in the midst of the shooting - she gains the powers of ESP, advanced mathematical knowledge, deep insight and being able to speak several languages. She also finds the cloned finger of U.S. President Goerge W. Bush that quickly brings her to orgasm and then reveals that she must run, as everyone wants his finger because it unlocks the nuclear payload of the United States.

Still with me?

Somehow, this all leads to a cave that will determine the fate of the world and an ending that echoes losing a game of Missle Command.

I really liked this, as it's just on the right side of strange, with a call girl acting as a teacher when she really holds the fate of the free world in her hand. Or Bush's painted and cloned thumb. It also taught me the terrifying "Bush Technique."

A Nutshell Review: (SIFF) The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai

[DICK STEEL · 5/10 · 15 April 2006]

When I walked out of the theatre, someone commented to his friend if there was any deeper meaning to the film which he might have failed to realize. Sorry, I think it's safe to say that Glamorous Life is pure soft porn, disguised as an art house movie. There are plenty of movies like these (think Immortel), which somehow managed to come through unscathed by the censors and given the R21 rating for its release during SIFF here.

C'mon, I mean (and I'm not complaining - I enjoy the occasional sexy-sexy shows OK?) right from the beginning you're teased by Sachiko's butt and boobs. She's a call girl for hire, playing to her client's fantasies, like role playing a school teacher. One fine day, she got caught up in a restaurant shootout, and escaped alive with a bullet lodged in the head. She undergoes an unexplainable transformation, in terms of intelligence, gaining an insatiable desire for knowledge, as well as having a supercharged sex drive.

Bunking in with the family of a professor she seeked, more sex is assured with the professor and his introverted son. But the weirdness factor got upped through the introduction of George Bush's cloned finger (comes with the Stars-and-Stripes painted on the nail), which has telepathy, and a life of its own. Since it's a finger, there's no prizes guessing correctly what a finger gotta do. The movie becomes a cheap satire on Bush and his pro-war policies, and I'm not too sure if it's for pure cheesiness or a low production budget which led to wire-work not being cleaned up, and cheapo GI-Joe toy figurines substituting the real Joes, and a really tacky looking Bush who creatively uses his fingers over the airwaves.

As another subplot, the North Korean gunman who's looking for the finger, and was responsible for the bullet in Sachiko's head, ended up trying to hunt Sachiko down, through tracing her contact via her mobile phone, staking out inside her home (cleaning the home, keeping her red panties, and fantasizing), and through an incredible stroke of luck, got to the home of the professor to get to Sachiko. He provided much of the laughs (though I don't think most was intentional), as the gunfights he had (some which made not much sense) turned out to be rather comical instead.

I think I can count up till about at least seven sex scenes, and another equivalent number of masturbation scenes, for the reason that Sachiko doesn't feel a thing why having sex, and only feels the (pleasurable) effects some time after. Sexploitation? You tell me. Works out to be about one sex scene every 7 minutes.

It's one of those movies which almost every male character has sex with the female lead, and the female characters having the urge to remove (or forcefully so) their clothing. It's campy, it doesn't make much sense, and most of what you see on screen, is probably just for the sake of being there. You know not to take this movie seriously when the American national anthem accompanies the end credits, sung badly in Japanese, with an after-the-end-credits scene that simply just implodes.

If you're feeling horny, then this movie might just be your cup of tea.

Chaos is nonsense. Nonsense if the law of the world.

[lastliberal · 6/10 · 11 July 2008]

Exploring other genres is fun. I have never heard of Japanese "Pink" before. Of course, I never heard of nunsploitation either, but I am having fun exploring that.

The premise of this film is just too weird. A prostitute gets shot in the head and, instead of dying, becomes a genius. She's also carrying George Bush's finger. How strange can a movie get? Now, you just have to imagine soft-core porn while discussing Nietzsche and Kirkegaard, et. al. Of course, it is the discussion of the neocons that make it interesting, the the "Bush Technique" that will have you in stitches.

Netflixers will certainly want to explore this film. How often does your porn come with philosophical or political messages? The only thing that spoils this otherwise Tromaesque offering is the gratuitous rape scene.

I've heard of Japanese erotica, but I never thought that I'd see one so accidentally!

[lee_eisenberg · 5/10 · 18 November 2007]

Apparently, one critic described "Hatsujo kateikyoshi: sensei no aijiru" (called "The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai" in English) as "Fahrenheit 9/11" directed by David Cronenberg. I actually think that I would describe it as "Enemy of the State" directed by Russ Meyer. In fact, I don't know whether to recommend this movie or pan it. True, it deals with the invasion of Iraq, but a porno movie - whether hard core or soft core - is not exactly the place to talk politics! On one level, this movie could lead to hypocrisy accusations: while trying to expose political issues, they spend half of the movie showing off the woman's body, and the whole thing is really just a chauvinist fantasy. If you ask me, these sorts of movies don't really merit controversy.

So, see it if you want, and see whether or not you can come up with a solid opinion of it.

Ignore Other Review

[swnthom · 8/10 · 11 July 2007]

First off, I think the other reviewer was himself too wrapped up in the sex scenes and completely missed the charm of this film. Yes, this is a sex movie and yes the sex scenes do go on for quiet a while and yes the lead actress Emi Kuroda is nude quite a bit. For some, all that can either be a deterrent but you should neither dismiss nor approve of this film.

I can say this. The film is offbeat and has a distinct charm and sense of humor to it. In this world where Transformers is the number 1 movie in America (God help us all), The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai is a much needed change of pace.

Again, I will stress. Do not dismiss this film because of the sex and nudity in it. Watch it through and you will like it. Also, ignore the box calling it "a mixture of Godard and the South Park crew." Godard could never make a movie like this

Surprisingly enjoyable

[mmushrm · 6/10 · 31 January 2011]

I found this movie to be surprisingly enjoyable. Its a pinku film due to the nudity and sex scenes but even with her clothes on the actress was quite good. The movie seems to be a farcical lark on those thriller "there is a WMD on the loose" scenarios. The humour (intended or not, Im not sure) was pretty good. Some of the sequences makes no sense but again I don't think this movie is meant to be taken seriously. I think when watching the movie you have to understand that it is essentially a B movie and not compare to it big budget thrillers (or even low budget art-house movies). With that in mind you will actually find the movie quite enjoyable.

How can a movie with such a wild plot description be this dang boring?

[zetes · 2/10 · 22 October 2007]

It would be quite easy to make this movie sound fun: a call girl gets shot in the forehead by a North Korean spy, but survives. The bullet that is embedded in her brain makes her long for knowledge, as well as sex. Unbeknownst to her, she walks away from the shooting with the cloned finger of George W. Bush in her purse, a key which can unlock the power to use nuclear armaments. Just call it a romp, and at least a few people will show up to the theater. I'm not sure how many did go to see this four year old film when it opened in New York this past April, but I sincerely hope not many. It sounds like a light and playful pinku flick, but it has art-house pretensions and is really just incredibly boring. Many pinku films in the past have been successful in their artistic aspirations, but this film's aspirations just make the time that elapses between the sex scenes excruciating. And then the sex scenes aren't even good! I've seen some pretty outrageous stuff in dirty Japanese movies. I've never seen this country produce something with sex this dull. The Spice Channel is more imaginative. The only worthwhile thing in this movie is the body of the lead actress, Emi Kuroda. Otherwise, this is pure torture.

a classic

[another_heavenly_world · 8/10 · 2 February 2007]

violence and sex burning high in a dizzy flash that projects the built icon of our contemporary world, America and her leader.

you can put yourself through many intriguing ideas throughout this movie. do Japanese love urban America lifestyle? are they just addicted to the glamour fantasy like on a cheap drug? or do they seriously take it as a joke upon themselves that ultimately hits back to the source?

giving in to the senses will melt preconceptions and make it so more real... but don't just take it for the lust it brings upon you. if you do give in try to keep yourself cool

• it's like a bullet in the head!

Japanese "Pink" Cinema, For Fun & Profit

[Seamus2829 · 1/10 · 20 July 2007]

Okay. I really tried to tap into the (so called) silly & surreal humor that this film sets out to be. I'm told that the Japanese version of this film is much shorter than the one shipped to America (go figure!), and has less political references. Apart from all that, I found this sexual/political farce just as boring and pointless as standard porn. The central female lead is easy on the eyes, and could actually act. I would love to see her in a non pink film where she could actually flex her acting muscles (and no,not the ones you're thinking of). It's obvious that Japan can (and does)produce just as much crap as other countries. I couldn't recommend this to anyone, with the distant possibility of someone who has a Jones for Asian porn. Go see a real Japanese film.

The craziest movie I've ever seen...

[Ezelmaster · 9/10 · 28 January 2008]

...and I have seen a lot of crazy stuff!

First of all excuse my English please.Since I'm from Germany it might sound a little bit strange to you :D

There were several points in the movie where I thought: MAN! That was way over the top..Just TOO crazy(so that it gets annoying for a very short time).But thats what you get in other movies as well, I just realized that while watching "Monty Pythons: Life Of Brian" yesterday. Which I love though! And no(!), I'm not trying to compare this movie with the Pythons :) Whatever, I laughed so hard watching this movie.Its just a silly,crazy,weird kind of humor and i loved it.I guess most of the people won't but my friends and I laughed until our stomachs hurt. Especially at the end, the "story" is getting so crazy,that you have to laugh about the fact that the writers of this masterpiece must have obviously been on LSD or something like that. AND, believe it or not, even watching Japanese people having sex is SO extremely funny in this movie...

Overall a great comedy which i had to give 9/10 for the parts which where TOO crazy,and for that,kind of annoying...

I think its pretty underrated in here, which might be, because not so many people have seen this movie.

For those of you who are at least a little bit open minded, have fun watching this movie!

English subtitles

[anthavio · 9/10 · 26 February 2008]

Hi all, I recently saw this insanity on "callous spectator festival". It was version with two different subtitles and I must say that English version is very very tragic. Most of the jokes are destroyed by translation to dead simple and dull statements. Even first sentence of the movie is broken, because Yamada titles Sachiko as schoolmistress and not just only miss. And this lobotomization continues all over the movie.

So try to avoid official translation and you'll surely add two more points to this total madness.

Adios, Martin

Not great, but far superior to your average sex film

[lazarillo · 7 February 2009]

This movie has generally been panned in the US by people who insist on approaching it entirely as a political satire. It is somewhat lame in that respect with a bizarro plot about a bubble-headed prostitute, "Sachiko Hanai" who turns into a super-genius after she is shot in the head, and then becomes embroiled in a plot by the North Koreans and Japanese Yakuza to use a cloned, disembodied finger of George W. Bush to start WWIII. (Bush, of course, is a very easy international target, but the scene where his finger sexually assaults the heroine would have been far more believable frankly if it was Bill Clinton's cloned finger).

As a nuclear-themed political satire, this is not going to make anybody forget about "Dr. Strangelove", but it's important to remember that this is basically a sex film. "Sachiko Hanai" is a lot more sexy and spends a lot more time naked than Peter Sellers in his three roles in "Dr. Strangelove". And the scene where she throws hot sex on a middle-aged college professor while they discuss Kirkegaard and Noam Chomsky may not be the most clever satire imaginable, but by the very lame international standards of comedy in sex films, it's positively brilliant.

This is a latter-day Japanese "pink" film, which is about the only genre left anywhere in the world where you have erotic films with ANYTHING of interest in them beyond the sex. If you want clever political satire, there's certainly much better movies than this. On the other hand, if you're nothing but a hairy-palmed, ceiling painter, the plot here, and the (somewhat) non-graphic sex, will no doubt only serve to distract you from the matter at, um, hand. There is always a place though as far as I'm concerned for a film like this that is decently made (relatively speaking, of course) and that combines sex appeal with something that is at least a little more interesting.