Frasier (TV Series)

A Passing Fancy (2001)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : You had me convinced that you held the keys to Claire's kingdom and the truth is, I didn't need the key. When I got there the gates were open, the mat said "Welcome Frasier".

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Kirby! Did you do any reading this week?

  Kirby : Sort of.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : What does "sort of" mean?

  Kirby : No.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Right. Why not?

  Kirby : 'Cause it's a bunch of junk I'm never gonna need to know.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, Kirby, this "junk", as you call it, may seem unimportant to you now, but knowing something about where we came from may help you to decide where you wish to go. Now, let's start learning about history, lest you be condemned to repeat it.

  [He slides the book over to Kirby] 

  Kirby : Continue reading until your mother gets here.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : A quick little pick-me-up, Niles?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, I am exhausted. Sleeping with Daphne, I'm not getting any rest. The way she gyrates, it's like...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Stop the simile! No use in conjuring up imagery I'll only have to repress later.

  Dr. Niles Crane : I'm talking about actual sleeping, you degenerate jughead.

  [Daphne returns to the table and kisses Niles] 

  Daphne Moon : [to Niles]  Hey, sweetie.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Hey. I was just telling Frasier about your nightly tossing and turning.

  [Daphne sits on Niles' lap] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : [to Frasier]  She's like a tuna on a trawler deck.

  Daphne Moon : [to Niles]  I told you: I'm gonna need time to adjust to sleeping with someone. Until then you're just going to have to fight me off.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, I tried, you hurled me to the floor!

  Daphne Moon : You've never minded the rough stuff before.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [closing his book]  No that's it, I'm leaving.

• Kirby : You never said there was gonna be pop quizzes.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : That's the "pop" part.

• Roz Doyle : My dream is to have front row seats at Bruce Springsteen. That way, when he starts doing "Dancing in the Dark", there's a chance he'll pull me up on stage with him.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I see. And this concert is on a Friday afternoon?

  Roz Doyle : No, grandpa. The tickets go on sale Saturday and I want to be the first in line.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, well, if you hadn't called me "grandpa," I would have found a polite way to no, but as it is, no.

• Lana Gardner : Trust me, if you don't time this right you're going to blow it.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : All right, there's no need to explain it to me. If anyone understands the value of restraint and taking things slowly, it's yours truly.

  Lana Gardner : Frasier, as I recall, on our first date, you got me up to your apartment on false pretenses, you plied me with wine, you got me into bed and then tried to weasel out of ever seeing me again.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [She goes out the door. Frasier opens the door behind her and calls out]  I think "plied" is a bit strong!