Photos
Quotes
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Frank Burns : [bombs heard in background] I hope we're giving it to 'em good, those little yellow reds.
Hawkeye : Frank, you better take two yellow reds and go to sleep.
Frank Burns : Oh, you like getting shot at, Dr. Goody Two-Shoes?
Hawkeye : I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread, transplant the American Dream: freedom, achievement, hyperacidity, affluence, flatulence, technology, tension, the inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back. That's entertainment!
Frank Burns : Pierce, you are certifiably insane.
Hawkeye : Gee, I can't understand why. Here I am, 20,000 miles from home working as an extra in a war movie with this guy's blood dripping into my boot. Nurse, you want to do something about that, or must I kiss you into submission?
Lt. Ginger Bayliss : Right away, doctor.
Hawkeye : That's not insane-making, Frank. Neither is bedding down every night with a flea circus, or eating food prepared by a cook who used to make box lunches for Kamikaze pilots, or getting so bored out my skull, I put on my dress uniform for a trip to the latrine!
Frank Burns : Will you watch your language?
Margaret : There are nurses present.
Hawkeye : Oh, forgive me. I'd like to offer the nurses a blanket apology. Or even better, I'd like to offer them a blanket invitation.
Frank Burns : Smut merchant.
Henry Blake : Oh, pipe down, Burns.
Frank Burns : Oh sure, always. You jump all over me, but he can say what he wants, and he gets away with it. Colonel's pet, that's what you are!
Hawkeye : I'll get you at recess!
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Hawkeye : I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back.
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Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : I suppose you could run the war better than a five-star general?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : The Daily News only gave him four.
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P.A. Announcer : Attention, all personnel. Over 3,000 tons of scrap paper fell on General MacArthur in his homecoming parade in New York City.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : I hope some of it was in bundles.
