M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Soldier of the Month (1975)
Loretta Swit: Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan
Photos
Quotes
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Major Margaret Houlihan : Will you step this way?
[they walk behind a tent]
Major Franklin Marion Burns : Margaret, what is it?
Major Margaret Houlihan : [punches him] The next time you give away your clothes, give 'em to somebody your own size!
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Margaret : Major Burns has decided to make out his will. Will you listen, Father?
Father Mulcahy : Gracious, I didn't even know he was dying.
Margaret : Oh, he isn't. No. Just a precautionary measure.
Father Mulcahy : Oh. But he does have the fever and a person is supposed to be of sound mind.
Frank Burns : Oh, it's okay, Father. I don't think my mind was any sounder when I was well.
Margaret : Call if you need anything, Major.
Father Mulcahy : Uh, are you sure you feel up to this, Frank?
Frank Burns : The only thing I really feel up to is dying.
Father Mulcahy : I see. Well, uh, if you're ready.
Frank Burns : My car, my house, all the money I buried in my backyard, goes to the only woman who ever really cared, ever really understood - my wife, Louise. She'll have to thaw out the map, it's inside some ground chuck in the basement freezer. My savings account passbook number is in the same bottle as my appendix.
Father Mulcahy : Appendix. Hmm. A-Anything else?
Frank Burns : For my children, all profits from my prescription kickbacks.
Father Mulcahy : Oh, dear.
Frank Burns : These are recorded in my red ledger, not the blue one that I show to the government. And finally, to Major Margaret Houlihan, my friend, my comrade, my little soldier, I leave all my clothes.
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Frank Burns : [thinks he is dying and going to heaven] Margaret, if I should go before you, look for me when you get there. I'll be waiting for you on the other side.
Margaret : Frank... darling.
Frank Burns : But, if I'm standing by my wife, pretend you don't know me.
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Major Margaret Houlihan : Nothing is too good for the men.
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : I guess that's why they get so much of it.
