The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Avery Schreiber (1976)

Avery Schreiber: Self - Special Guest Star

Photos 

Quotes 

• Avery Schreiber : [after tricking Kermit]  Just like I said. It worked, didn't it?

  Miss Piggy : Yes! Yes! He really loves me. Oh, thank you so much. How about a smacker right on these porker lips, hmm? Kissy, kissy.

  Avery Schreiber : Well, I-I... Now, don't... don't... don't take it personally, now, I can't kiss you. You see, I mean no offense, but my... my family never even touched a pig, much less put their lips to one.

  Miss Piggy : Well, put your lips to THIS! Hiii-ya!

  [karate-chops Avery] 

• Kermit the Frog : Well, that's it for tonight. We'd like to thank our very special guest star Mr. Avery Schreiber.

  Avery Schreiber : Thank you, Kermit, thank you. Listen, it was a ball. I hope I didn't get you upset. Boy, Miss Piggy has a bad temper, doesn't she, huh?

  Kermit the Frog : Aw, listen, don't worry, I can handle Miss Piggy. You know, she's just putty in my hands. I say "Jump", she says "How high?" I crack the whip, she jumps through the hoop.

  Miss Piggy : [suddenly appears]  You open your mouth, my fist goes south. Hiii-ya!

  [karate-chops Kermit] 

  Avery Schreiber : Gee, I love to see a man in control, Kermit.

  Kermit the Frog : [weakly]  We'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show.

  [Piggy karate-chops Kermit again]