The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Kenny Rogers (1979)

Jim Henson: Kermit the Frog, Rowlf, Muppet Newsman, Waldorf

Quotes 

• [Statler is wearing a hard hat] 

  Waldorf : What's the hard hat for?

  Statler : I want to be ready in case they start throwing pigs at us again!

  [they both laugh] 

• The Newsman : Now for a Muppet News Flash! Muppet Labs has just announced that they are recalling their latest model hospital bed used in the "Lime and Coconut" production number. The beds were built on an assembly line formerly used for popup toasters.

  [suddenly, the sound of a spring is heard and Kermit is flung off the hospital bed and through the newsroom, hitting his head on the desk] 

• Statler : Did you see that?

  Waldorf : Yes, the frog is certainly taking a beating on this show.

  Statler : It's hard to feel sorry for him. We take a beating EVERY show!

  [they both laugh] 

• Rowlf the Dog : Nurse Piggy, you cannot let your personal feelings affect your duty. You are a nurse.

  Miss Piggy : I may be a nurse, but I'm a woman first.

  Rowlf the Dog : Wrong! You're a pig first, nurse second... I don't think "woman" made the top ten.

• Miss Piggy : Oh, Kermie! Kermie, can you hear me? This is Nurse Piggy! I will never leave your side till you have taken your last breath!

  [to Rowlf] 

  Miss Piggy : Do you think he heard me?

  Rowlf the Dog : He must have. His pulse has stopped.

• [Kermit has just had an accident on stage] 

  Statler : Oh, poor little guy! Hope he's not hurt.

  Waldorf : Well, at least he got the pig to stop singing.