The Simpsons (TV Series)

Brother from Another Series (1997)

David Hyde Pierce: Cecil Terwilliger

Quotes 

• Bart : Guess who!

  Cecil Terwilliger : Maris?

• Sideshow Bob : You do know I... used to have a...

  [clears throat] 

  Sideshow Bob : problem... with trying to kill people?

  Cecil Terwilliger : Goodness, I had no idea! For you see, I have been on Mars for the last decade, in a cave, with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears.

  Sideshow Bob : Touche, Cecil.

• Cecil Terwilliger : Now make yourself at home. Perhaps a glass of Bordeaux? I have the '82 Chateau Latour and a rather indifferent Rausan-Segla.

  Sideshow Bob : I've been in prison, Cecil. I'll be happy just as long as it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.

  Cecil Terwilliger : That would be the Latour, then.

• [Cecil is about to blow up Sideshow Bob and Bart] 

  Cecil Terwilliger : And now to kill you. There may be a slight ringing in your ears. Fortunately, you'll be nowhere near them.

• Sideshow Bob : You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five. What about the buffoon lessons, the four years at clown college.

  Cecil Terwilliger : I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way.

• Sideshow Bob : But you can't do this! I saved the children's lives! I'm a hero!

  Cecil Terwilliger : [craftily]  Tell them they'll live to regret this.

  Sideshow Bob : You'll live to regret this!

  Sideshow Bob : [realizing] 

  Sideshow Bob : Oh, thanks a lot, now *I* look crazy.

  Cecil Terwilliger : [Cecil smiles smugly] 

• Cecil Terwilliger : At last, I'm going to do what Bob never could: kill Bart Simpson!

  Bart : By throwing me off a dam? Isn't that a little crude for a genius like you?

  Cecil Terwilliger : Ooh, I suppose it is. Ehh, if anyone asks, I'll lie.

• Cecil Terwilliger : I forgot to mention, I'm planning to blow up the dam with you inside.

  Sideshow Bob : Well, obviously!

• Sideshow Bob : Wait a minute. This is all because I got to be Krusty's sidekick instead of you, isn't it?

  Cecil Terwilliger : Off the record, yes. But officially, I did it for the money!

• Cecil Terwilliger : Snigger all you like, Bob...

  Sideshow Bob : Thank you, I believe I shall.

• Sideshow Bob : [sharing a cell with Cecil]  I'm older, I get the top bunk.

  Cecil Terwilliger : Oh, poppycock, I called it at the arraignment.

  [Bob pushes Cecil to the ground and lies on the bunk with a pleased smile] 

  Cecil Terwilliger : [standing up, he brushes himself off]  So, when do they bring us the menus?

• Cecil Terwilliger : I'm framing you, and doing a really excellent job, too.

• Cecil Terwilliger : There it is! The future sight of the Springfield hydro-electric dam.

  Sideshow Bob : Just the thought of all that raw surging power makes me wonder why the hell I should care.

• Sideshow Bob : Oh, Cousin Merle, really!

  Cecil Terwilliger : Temper, temper... You know Cousin Merle ain't been quite right lately.