I mean if we're being honest, you should know what you're going to get just from looking at the trailer for this sexy romp. Longhorns is really about a college aged Texan male who thinks he might be gay when he begins to fall for the only openly gay guy at his college. The movie isn't meant to have good writing or even good acting, its purpose is just to be a short sexy, sometimes sweet romp. And I think it does an alright job at doing that. Jacob newton is likable enough in the lead role of Kevin. Dylan Vox's only job in his role is just to be a homophobic, testosterone filled, sex crazed good ol' boy. And he succeeds at that. The comedy doesn't really work, I suspect though that if you're watching this it's not to laugh. So let's get to the sexy part. The sexual scenes include many scenes of males masturbating to tapes of pornography (hand moving under the covers while moaning). There's also a man drawing another man nude and a scene of a woman riding a man. The sentimental aspect of the movie only works in the sense of Kevin realizing his true love/sexuality and accepting it.
14 Reviews
That first time when you know it's right.
bkoganbing1 July 2014
Before the end of Longhorns all four of the macho frat guys from the University of Texas get down and naked and show their gay side. The only one comfortable in his sexuality is the Latino student Derek Efrain Villanueva who is out and heads the campus gay organization. But he's also the happiest of the lot.
Longhorns begins with a sex scene as Jacob Newton is getting ridden hard by some coed and we see he's fantasizing about being a mechanical bull being ridden by some fellow Longhorn. Doing some tutoring is Villanueva and I have to say he is one seductive young man. Believe me seeing Newton and Villanueva took me back a few decades and I know exactly how Newton felt fulfilling what he really wanted.
It doesn't happen all at once though and Newton is still trying to keep up his good old boy image. Turns out that his friends Dylan Vox and Stephen Matzke are also doing a little sexual exploring when some promised females don't arrive.
And big man on campus Kevin Held might be homophobic, but he does need a passing grade in English.
Longhorns is a gay youthful romp through the Reagan years in that bluest of states Texas. You could probably make the same film now and date it as contemporary, attitudes have changed a bit, but it's slow.
And this review is dedicated to the late Donald 'Butch' Buchecker of Consohocken, Pennsylvania who made it right for me.
Longhorns begins with a sex scene as Jacob Newton is getting ridden hard by some coed and we see he's fantasizing about being a mechanical bull being ridden by some fellow Longhorn. Doing some tutoring is Villanueva and I have to say he is one seductive young man. Believe me seeing Newton and Villanueva took me back a few decades and I know exactly how Newton felt fulfilling what he really wanted.
It doesn't happen all at once though and Newton is still trying to keep up his good old boy image. Turns out that his friends Dylan Vox and Stephen Matzke are also doing a little sexual exploring when some promised females don't arrive.
And big man on campus Kevin Held might be homophobic, but he does need a passing grade in English.
Longhorns is a gay youthful romp through the Reagan years in that bluest of states Texas. You could probably make the same film now and date it as contemporary, attitudes have changed a bit, but it's slow.
And this review is dedicated to the late Donald 'Butch' Buchecker of Consohocken, Pennsylvania who made it right for me.
Not Bad ...worth watching
JJ-Chi24 February 2021
Considering the kind of movie this is, it is actually not that bad. Nothing great or meaningful here, but nothing overly cheezy either. The gratuitous nudity was a nice touch.
Overall, a fun and enjoyable escape from reality.
Overall, a fun and enjoyable escape from reality.
Amateur Night
Suradit15 February 2012
A cast of unexciting, not especially good-looking actors, most of whom would not make the cut in an audition for a high school play, certainly complement the mediocre, sophomoric story.
All the indoor scenes appear to have been shot in various rooms of a $5 a night motel and one suspects their rental expense probably consumed most of the production budget.
The standard over-worked components of a gay-themed movie, homophobia, state of denial and self-revelation, are played out awkwardly, are totally unbelievable and generate no emotion other than acute embarrassment for all concerned, especially the viewer.
This might have been cutting-edge 40 years ago, but these days there is no shortage of well written, superbly acted and beautifully produced movies dealing with all aspects of gay life. This oeuvre is to 21st century gay-themed movies what Amos & Andy would be to modern Black cinematic entertainment.
Even worse, it appears to have been mistakenly labeled a comedy. The comedic highlights include: (a)One of the characters has given names to his three house plants and (b) The same character unintentionally wears blue jeans on Wear Blue Jeans if You're Gay Day. I hope revealing that didn't spoil the hilarity for anyone.
Don't bother.
All the indoor scenes appear to have been shot in various rooms of a $5 a night motel and one suspects their rental expense probably consumed most of the production budget.
The standard over-worked components of a gay-themed movie, homophobia, state of denial and self-revelation, are played out awkwardly, are totally unbelievable and generate no emotion other than acute embarrassment for all concerned, especially the viewer.
This might have been cutting-edge 40 years ago, but these days there is no shortage of well written, superbly acted and beautifully produced movies dealing with all aspects of gay life. This oeuvre is to 21st century gay-themed movies what Amos & Andy would be to modern Black cinematic entertainment.
Even worse, it appears to have been mistakenly labeled a comedy. The comedic highlights include: (a)One of the characters has given names to his three house plants and (b) The same character unintentionally wears blue jeans on Wear Blue Jeans if You're Gay Day. I hope revealing that didn't spoil the hilarity for anyone.
Don't bother.
Much potential squandered in unfunny comedy, with redeeming strengths
jm107017 July 2012
This could have been a really good movie, but it wore out its one-joke theme - straight guys who love nothing better than masturbating together while watching porn - about the third time it played out. That may be a powerful and persistent fantasy and an infallible source of amusement for lots of gay men, but it's not for me, and watching it in a movie gets old very fast. It wasn't even remotely believable the first time it happened, and it got less believable every time.
The second recurring theme has one man stripping completely naked and standing still for another, fully clothed man to ogle. Each of the five main characters did it once each, with another of the five (two, in one instance) as the clothed ogler. Was that supposed to be funny too, or was it just an extremely clumsy way to get as much full frontal (but as sterile as a nun) nudity as possible into the movie? So the movie is almost unbearably contrived, stupid and unfunny. It has two redeeming strengths, though.
Three of the main cast members are genuine Southerners who talk with real Southern accents, not the Hollywood fake-Southern accents non-Southern actors always affect (even Meryl Streep can't get it right) in movies. Non-Southerners must not be able to tell the difference, but I can, and as a long-time transplant to the North, hearing people who talk like me on screen warms my heart and points out how very, very rarely it happens. Even Southern actors almost never use their native accents in movies, which is sad.
The movie's other strength is the cast, particularly Derek Villanueva and Dylan Vox, who shine (Jacob Newton, though sort of cute, is a little weak as the lead). I wish someone would remake Longhorns with the same cast but as a serious movie, not a very lame, very unfunny comedy.
The second recurring theme has one man stripping completely naked and standing still for another, fully clothed man to ogle. Each of the five main characters did it once each, with another of the five (two, in one instance) as the clothed ogler. Was that supposed to be funny too, or was it just an extremely clumsy way to get as much full frontal (but as sterile as a nun) nudity as possible into the movie? So the movie is almost unbearably contrived, stupid and unfunny. It has two redeeming strengths, though.
Three of the main cast members are genuine Southerners who talk with real Southern accents, not the Hollywood fake-Southern accents non-Southern actors always affect (even Meryl Streep can't get it right) in movies. Non-Southerners must not be able to tell the difference, but I can, and as a long-time transplant to the North, hearing people who talk like me on screen warms my heart and points out how very, very rarely it happens. Even Southern actors almost never use their native accents in movies, which is sad.
The movie's other strength is the cast, particularly Derek Villanueva and Dylan Vox, who shine (Jacob Newton, though sort of cute, is a little weak as the lead). I wish someone would remake Longhorns with the same cast but as a serious movie, not a very lame, very unfunny comedy.
Yep. If ur that way inclined, worth it
iainmcleod_8008 June 2022
So it's not an epic or a piece of art or even fandabbydozy.
But it's good. And if you are gay, this is for you.
Every main character is fully naked. There is a story. Cant rate it higher as it's very much made for people like us and nobody else. If the site was just for gay movies, then 10 out of 10. But it's not and cant give higher than a 6 for that reason. But 6 is still good. And man alive, if you are gay, like me, you will enjoy this. Maybe too much.
But it's good. And if you are gay, this is for you.
Every main character is fully naked. There is a story. Cant rate it higher as it's very much made for people like us and nobody else. If the site was just for gay movies, then 10 out of 10. But it's not and cant give higher than a 6 for that reason. But 6 is still good. And man alive, if you are gay, like me, you will enjoy this. Maybe too much.
Unless extremely bored, don't bother
Jdmaldonado8141 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Nothing about this so called comedy is "risque" or "sexy".
Not one of the actors are particularly good looking. I could have easily done without any of the nudity. And I usually enjoy a good sex scene or 2 in a gay themed movie. All the male full frontal scenes in here just seemed completely unnecessary.
The acting is pathetic. The whole all-American, Texas boy thing wasn't even remotely believable.
The only reason I would consider this a comedy is because the whole movie in itself is a joke. You can't help but laugh at how ridiculous every moment of this film is. Everything from the opening fantasy scene to the constant mutual "pleasure" sessions.
Seriously, don't waste your time.
Not one of the actors are particularly good looking. I could have easily done without any of the nudity. And I usually enjoy a good sex scene or 2 in a gay themed movie. All the male full frontal scenes in here just seemed completely unnecessary.
The acting is pathetic. The whole all-American, Texas boy thing wasn't even remotely believable.
The only reason I would consider this a comedy is because the whole movie in itself is a joke. You can't help but laugh at how ridiculous every moment of this film is. Everything from the opening fantasy scene to the constant mutual "pleasure" sessions.
Seriously, don't waste your time.
I didn't feel so bad as I thought I would
Foxbarking4 June 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Honestly, I only watched this movie because I think the lead actor is a pretty hot guy. I expected it to be terrible, and I thought I would be upset at myself for watching a movie just because a guy in it was hot. But although I came to it for the looks, I took away from it a very heart touching movie that I know I will watch more than once again.
It probably doesn't hurt that I have known somebody who was a bit like Kevin and I actually thought it was cute. These are the guys who will do anything to seduce you and then blame you for the seduction, saying things like: "It wasn't my fault, you shouldn't have sat there looking so cute." And although I find it somewhat annoying, I did not feel that way about Kevin. Here was a guy who really did not believe his actions made him gay because one of the models of masculinity he had was a gay guy overcompensating.
Quite a few times Kevin's action made me cringe. But there is a scene where he is on the phone with Cesar and it just melted me heart. This happened also when he gave Cesar back his ring. This movie brought tears to my eyes several times. It is a beautiful movie and I totally recommend it. Although I watched it so see a cute guy, I found a cute movie.
That being said, you can't blame me for you watching it.
It probably doesn't hurt that I have known somebody who was a bit like Kevin and I actually thought it was cute. These are the guys who will do anything to seduce you and then blame you for the seduction, saying things like: "It wasn't my fault, you shouldn't have sat there looking so cute." And although I find it somewhat annoying, I did not feel that way about Kevin. Here was a guy who really did not believe his actions made him gay because one of the models of masculinity he had was a gay guy overcompensating.
Quite a few times Kevin's action made me cringe. But there is a scene where he is on the phone with Cesar and it just melted me heart. This happened also when he gave Cesar back his ring. This movie brought tears to my eyes several times. It is a beautiful movie and I totally recommend it. Although I watched it so see a cute guy, I found a cute movie.
That being said, you can't blame me for you watching it.
Delightful Good Old Boy Romp With a Twist
donwc199610 May 2012
This film is a delight from the moment it starts and doesn't let up until the very end - didn't even take time for a pit stop I was so caught up in the playfulness of this film. The cast is uniformly hot - all the guys and the gals too - lots of flesh - especially full frontal nudity - in fact all the male leads show it all - very unexpected and fun, fun, fun - not much of a story but the cast is so great to look at who cares? Some incredible eroticism done in a most unusual way - which catches you completely by surprise. In fact this film is full of surprises. A real winner. The Texas shots were all great - really gave you a sense of the way Texas looks - that part also surprised me.
Nice little gem
SheWillRememberYourHeart17 February 2012
I was honestly not expecting too much. This was obviously a low-budget, indie production, so I readied myself for all the inevitable flaws that this usually entails.
I was pleasantly surprised: the production values weren't incredible, but they were definitely better than one might expect, the script was smart, touching and funny, and the acting was much better than I anticipated, especially the two leads. I think what particularly worked for me was the humor, it added a nice, knowing wink to the loveliness of this little gem.
This is the story of a Texan "all-American" boy at college who seemingly conforms to the stereotype in every way back in the early 80's. When he meets an openly gay student, he has to confront himself for the first time in his life. Or does he?
I was pleasantly surprised: the production values weren't incredible, but they were definitely better than one might expect, the script was smart, touching and funny, and the acting was much better than I anticipated, especially the two leads. I think what particularly worked for me was the humor, it added a nice, knowing wink to the loveliness of this little gem.
This is the story of a Texan "all-American" boy at college who seemingly conforms to the stereotype in every way back in the early 80's. When he meets an openly gay student, he has to confront himself for the first time in his life. Or does he?
Checks all the boxes
Coralknight30 November 2019
Gay-themed movies have traditionally be grated on a curve, and in my opinion, this one stands on its own. It has a story, good acting (a little over-acting by one character...but it actually fits), a plot and some good full-frontal...yeah, that really helped in this movie. It was a bit gratuitous, but heck, this is a movie about sex in college years, so it was appropriate. It's a very light-hearted "coming out" movie that has a very good moral to it, and even some sharp insights; the main character treated other openly gay characters the same way HE was treated, specifically by the guys he was attracted to. So, he felt/learned this was "normal" behavior. I would highly recommend it as a date-movie or light brain-candy.
Yep, this is a keeper! ;)
Fred_Walker1 February 2021
not memorable but...
Kirpianuscus24 October 2019
It gives, in nice manner, the atmosphere of "80 -s. It has not bad humor, decent performances and easy story. And, more important, it gives the flavor of college life , without high ambitions but in reasonable manner. And, sure, it is a low budget film who has not as purpose to impress but to offer a not so bad fun.
Not great but charming enough
xenothon8 October 2015
Warning: Spoilers
'Longhorns' from the beginning makes it pretty clear it's not going to be a great movie - a scene where the gay lead is banging a cheerleader and interpolating her with a random shirtless cowboy is never usually that promising - but there's enough endearing material in this film that you at least feel like you didn't totally waste your time.
Jacob Newton is Kevin, the repressed gay lead, and he strikes you as pretty forgettable, especially for a movie which could use extra eye candy. Apparently he has some sexuality crisis at the beginning of the movie but I think the way the movie shows him 'becoming' gay is a little corny...(Spoiler alert) he doesn't show much internal conflict in hooking up with Cesar - played by Derek Villanueva - the first time. (Spoiler alert) And he barely forgets Cesar when he goes to hang out with his straight buds. I'm just saying that I think the writer(s) should have made the movie 15-20 minutes longer and showed more character development for Kevin.
Both of the gay leads have best friends that they hang out with at Texas – Kevin's is Justin, played by Kevin Held, and Cesar's is Marsha, played by Bonnie Marion. For some reason, Justin makes a pretty big impression – clearly Southern, and the only character who actually seems to embrace the societal homophobia of the time (and some things haven't changed much there in Texas even though it's usually talked about in private now), and I think he stands out in a good way from much of the cast. He also brings some country Texan flavor, which is sorely missing from the cabin scenes since the three guys there all come across as city slickers. Justin and Marsha both have small story lines that are forgettable. (Spoiler alert) Justin thinking that Cesar was going to take advantage of him for the English tutoring was about the only action in the film where you weren't sure what exactly was going to happen.
The cabin scenes were somewhat funny, mainly at the start, but the Daniel character, played by Stephen Matzke, was pretty off-putting. I guess he was just playing the character as it was written for him, but Daniel just comes across as really awkward and out of place in all his scenes. Steve, played by Dylan Vox, does about as good a job as anyone, but he doesn't have a lot to work with.
(Spoiler alert) The ending is pretty sweet when Kevin and Cesar reunite, but with the last happy shot they do on the farmland you kind of realize how short and stupid this movie is. You literally see a gay relationship played out in the course of what must amount to a week or two. Sure, it's a sweet beginning, but there's nothing of substance beyond how Kevin was a conflicted 'straight' guy who realizes he really loves this out homosexual, and so he must be homosexual too. That's all that happens in the relationship. All in all though this movie is pretty funny taken as a whole and it's definitely watchable. I enjoyed myself overall if you're looking for something nice to stare at though, you only get the Cesar and Steve characters, unless you like Justin's hair, and Cesar comes across as fairly feminine, and Steve mainly stands out because of the rest of the cast.
I also enjoyed the soundtrack and how it went with the movie – pretty cool vibes
Jacob Newton is Kevin, the repressed gay lead, and he strikes you as pretty forgettable, especially for a movie which could use extra eye candy. Apparently he has some sexuality crisis at the beginning of the movie but I think the way the movie shows him 'becoming' gay is a little corny...(Spoiler alert) he doesn't show much internal conflict in hooking up with Cesar - played by Derek Villanueva - the first time. (Spoiler alert) And he barely forgets Cesar when he goes to hang out with his straight buds. I'm just saying that I think the writer(s) should have made the movie 15-20 minutes longer and showed more character development for Kevin.
Both of the gay leads have best friends that they hang out with at Texas – Kevin's is Justin, played by Kevin Held, and Cesar's is Marsha, played by Bonnie Marion. For some reason, Justin makes a pretty big impression – clearly Southern, and the only character who actually seems to embrace the societal homophobia of the time (and some things haven't changed much there in Texas even though it's usually talked about in private now), and I think he stands out in a good way from much of the cast. He also brings some country Texan flavor, which is sorely missing from the cabin scenes since the three guys there all come across as city slickers. Justin and Marsha both have small story lines that are forgettable. (Spoiler alert) Justin thinking that Cesar was going to take advantage of him for the English tutoring was about the only action in the film where you weren't sure what exactly was going to happen.
The cabin scenes were somewhat funny, mainly at the start, but the Daniel character, played by Stephen Matzke, was pretty off-putting. I guess he was just playing the character as it was written for him, but Daniel just comes across as really awkward and out of place in all his scenes. Steve, played by Dylan Vox, does about as good a job as anyone, but he doesn't have a lot to work with.
(Spoiler alert) The ending is pretty sweet when Kevin and Cesar reunite, but with the last happy shot they do on the farmland you kind of realize how short and stupid this movie is. You literally see a gay relationship played out in the course of what must amount to a week or two. Sure, it's a sweet beginning, but there's nothing of substance beyond how Kevin was a conflicted 'straight' guy who realizes he really loves this out homosexual, and so he must be homosexual too. That's all that happens in the relationship. All in all though this movie is pretty funny taken as a whole and it's definitely watchable. I enjoyed myself overall if you're looking for something nice to stare at though, you only get the Cesar and Steve characters, unless you like Justin's hair, and Cesar comes across as fairly feminine, and Steve mainly stands out because of the rest of the cast.
I also enjoyed the soundtrack and how it went with the movie – pretty cool vibes
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