larcher-2 Reviews

Rare Exports (2010)

Scrooge was right

[8/10 · 25 December 2013]

Scrooge was right about Christmas: in fact, it's worse than a humbug. It's a horror movie. And Santa is really serious about who's naughty and nice--so be good kids or else. This movie ought to be run on a 24 hour Christmas Day rotation with A Christmas Story, since it too deals with a small boy who gets a gun.

Santa Claus has been buried deep in the Lapland permafrost for a very long time and for a very good reason. An obnoxious American capitalist digs him up for no evident reason and in the end pays the price (I guess he was naughty). Fortunately, this film's version of Ralphie is a better shot and also knows what to do with dynamite. Also, Santa's elves are marketable, so I guess after all what really matters about Christmas is that it's a serious money maker.

I never realized until now how funny the Finns were.

Bloodsuckers Handbook (2012)

Straight faced surrealism

[9/10 · 25 December 2013]

Straight faced surrealism that mixes the look and feel of an off beat, low budget late noir film (it's set in 1966) with a vampire movie and a priest's crisis of faith story. There's a gritty, trench coat wearing detective who happens to be a greyhound (well at least he's a dog, not a bus). Nobody seems to think that's odd--in fact the more important fact about him is that he's a recovering toad-licker. There's a very good, very restrained jazz score that matches the equally restrained acting and visual style, all of which somehow keeps one from thinking how absurd the whole thing is. A bit like a David Lynch film, especially Eraserhead, but with a cooler sensibility.

Maybe the oddest thing about it is that it has what is perhaps the movies' most positive image of a Catholic priest in many years.

Despite the absurdities, it isn't really a comedy; despite the vampires, it's not a horror movie or a action pic. But it's one of the best and most engaging bits of surrealism I've ever seen--surrealism used not as a prop but as an integral structure.

Bunny Lake Is Missing (1965)

Idiotic

[3/10 · 23 March 2012]

It's 1965. It's London. An American woman reports that her child is missing. Nobody seems to remember seeing the child; perhaps the child doesn't exist.

It never occurs to anyone that the mystery could easily be solved, one way or another, by calling Bunny's home town in America and checking for information, e.g., her birth certificate.

Like so many bad mystery films and books, this one depends upon everybody overlooking the obvious.

In 1965, transatlantic phone calls from the UK to the US cost about $12 for the first three minutes. Admittedly, this was more than was spent on the screenplay for this movie.

Terror in the Jungle (1968)

If there's anything worse

[1/10 · 5 December 2002]

If there's anything worse than this movie I don't want to see it. I remember so many amazing things--a nun dropped out of a coffin to make a raft for a little blond boy; the little blond boy himself adored as a god; lots of stock footage of Peru as an ideal vacation spot. Shining Path and Alberto Fujimori should blast away any notion that Peru is a vacation paradise. The whole thing is so awful that Plan 9 or even Robot Monster is an aesthetic treat by comparison. This film should be bombed and strafed and bombed again.

Signs (2002)

One can't ignore the religious

[8/10 · 5 August 2002]

One can't ignore the religious backdrop of MNS's movies (and his own life)--a mixture of Anglican/Episcopalianism and Roman Catholicism. These are the two tracks of his own background, and inform all of his movies. Sixth Sense has more than a touch of the Catholic idea of Purgatory. Signs' lead character seems to be an Episcopal priest. In Signs, the alien invasion is an Hitchcockian "McGuffin" that allows the director to play with the serious theological problems of theodicy (the existence of evil in a divinely created and directed world) and divine providence. The ending goes flat for those who reject the divine decree that evil is idiotic; specifically, that the aliens who are vulnerable to water invade a world that is mostly water. Their plans are absurd in precisely the way that Hitler at the height of his power planed absurdly; he failed to invade the England that would have fallen to him in a very few weeks and instead invaded the Russia whose endless spaces defeated him. Divine providence ensures that evil in the end is incredibly stupid. One may or may not accept this as true, but it is the belief that underlies these films.

Like it or not, MSN is making religious movies. He is using every Hollywood gimmick to make his movies sell. There is a lot here that is derivative (I have not read all the comments, but surely it is obvious that one of the movies from which he has borrowed is "Day of the Triffids"). Yet the whole idea of an Indian-Philadelphian-Anglican-Catholic-Hitchcockian is so new that I for one intend follow his career with great interest!

Them! (1954)

Make me a Sergeant, and charge the booze:

[7/10 · 7 September 2001]

Make me a Sergeant, and charge the booze: this is a little low-budget gem because it gets the little things right. The crazy boozer in the VA hospital, the LA river turned into a culvert, the murder mystery that turns into a fable of the atomic age--it all works to make what could have been just another drive-in rubber monster movie into something deeply real. In a way, the rather absurd giant ants are a McGuffen to propel a plot about decent ordinary human beings facing disaster with courage and dignity. It faces, if obliquely, the reals horrors of the modern age: soul-less war, soul-less genetic manipulation, soul-less science. It opposes these with humanistic science and just plain human bravery. And just plain human weakness as well--sometimes it's a good thing that a drunk is more insightful than a general.

Conspiracy (2001 TV Movie)

Decent, but inferior to The Wansee Conference

[6/10 · 20 August 2001]

Decent, but less powerful than The Wansee Conference, a German film based on the same material. Both are effective in portraying the degree to which mass murder of Jews was an act of the whole German political/military complex--not something done in secret by a handful of crazed Nazis. Some of the acting in Conspiracy is a bit too over-the-top, although Branagh in as usual excellent.

The Others (2001)

Solid but predictable

[7/10 · 20 August 2001]

Solid but predictable, especially if one has seen other recent ghost movies. The resolution left a number of loose ends which could have been more imaginatively brought together. The core of the film--the relationship between the living and the dead--could and should have produced something more than a not-very surprise ending. The historical background--the German occupation of the Channel Islands during WWII--was merely used as a prop, not at a part of the narrative. Similarly, the use of Catholic imagery and theology (which was often oddly misstated) seem to have little or no bearing on the story or its resolution. The Others has the ingredients of a classic, but fails to blend them into a satisfying whole.

Timecode (2000)

Interesting experiment, but

[7/10 · 20 August 2001]

Interesting experiment, but if you look past the experimental bits, its really a mediocre little potboiler. As with all movies that are fundamentally dependent on "special effects," the question arises whether technical wizardry really can so transform the nature of film as to make the more conventional elements (plot, dialogue, acting) relatively unimportant.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Ed Wood has risen from the dead,

[1/10 · 20 August 2001]

Ed Wood has risen from the dead, and gotten a large budget. That is the only explanation for this supreme turkey. Among the Ed Wood touches are dialogue that seems to have been badly translated from Albanian and actors who apparently were cut from the cast of a failed dinner-theatre production of Clue. Ed Wood of course is famous for his insertion of stock footage at random points in his movies, and a good bit of Pearl Harbor appears to have been constructed from stock footage. Maybe its the computers that make it look that way.

It's a bad sign when one finds it difficult to remember the characters' names or to remember which one is which. I wouldn't have minded this so much if more of them had killed.

I thought it was impossible to make a worse "historical" movie than Titanic, but I was wrong.

This movie made me wish that the Japanese had won the war.

The Third Man (1949)

Greene's strange, uneasy Catholicism

[9/10 · 20 August 2001]

Greene's strange, uneasy Catholicism (he was never quite sure whether he was Catholic, or atheist, or a sensualist cum socialist cum Catholic-fellow-traveller) is vividly evident in this movie. Without his rather pessimistic brand of Catholicism he could never have seen the shabby huckster Harry Lime as an almost-hero or the equally shabby faithless hack Holly [Rollo] Martins as an almost-angel-avenger. Harry believes in God, "in mercy and all that" while Holly is an agnostic alcoholic indifferentist; in the end it is Lime who gives Martins permission to kill him.

This is a profoundly religious movie, and could only have been made, as it was made, on the bleak dark edge between faith and atheism.

Unbreakable (2000)

Less and more

[8/10 · 24 November 2000]

Less and more than The Sixth Sense. In some ways, this film is just a reworking of Sixth Sense, with Willis in the Osment slot. The style, the structure, and many of the themes are the same. Both depend a great deal on mood, and both leave a few plot threads unresolved. Unbreakable is less because we've seen Sixth Sense, and so can anticipate the plot pretty well (including the shock ending). It's a bit more because it is darker and more thought-provoking. The movie drops a terrible moral conundrum in our laps--and gives us almost no clue toward its resolution. The rather sunny resolution of Sixth Sense is replaced with something very bitter. The movie would have been better if this bitterness were not so dependent on a brief twist at the end, but were more integrated into the characters' development. Nonetheless, it's a solid bit of work that seems better and better upon reflection.

What Lies Beneath (2000)

A solid, traditional thriller

[7/10 · 6 August 2000]

A solid, traditional thriller that breaks no new ground but is mercifully free from gratuitous gore and pointless whizz-bang special effects. The kind of movie in which creaking doors and flickering candlelight really is pretty creepy. There's a "surprise" ending that really isn't much of a surprise if you have paid close attention (especially to the dialogue), but it is fairly well concealed by the casting and a some sleight-of-hand in the plot. Nothing original, but still good fun Hollywood stuff done well.

Small Time Crooks (2000)

Feeble offering

[5/10 · 25 May 2000]

Feeble offering from Woody Allen, who just seems to be going through the motions of making a movie. Where we should have flashbacks, we have dull exposition; gags are poorly set up and weakly executed. Allen's acting is simply a collection of twitches, and most of the rest of the cast simply seems to be sleepwalking their roles. Hugh Grant in particular seems to have read through the script about ten minutes before the scenes were shot, and his transformation at the end from slick weasel to near-sadist is completely unconvincing. There are two major plot twists: the first is done well, the second comes out of nowhere, although we are told (not shown!) that Allen's character had suspected the culprits all along because "they all wore mustaches."

A few moments partly redeem this from being a complete turkey. There is an absolutely hilarious "TV News Feature" sequence right after the crooks get rich; there is an amusing cocktail party near the end in which we discover that the rich and cultured are every bit as brainless and crass as the small time crooks; and Elaine May plays a character of transcendent dimness, a sort of demure Gracie Allen. The rest is all a half-beat off, which is fatal to farce. As others have noted, even the music, which is often a redeeming feature of Allen's movies, is below-par--why on earth is "Tequila" played during the last part of the closing credits?

Increasingly, Allen's career as an auteur seems to be sputtering out. Maybe he should stick to voice-overs.

Tea with Mussolini (1999)

Mildly entertaining, but

[7/10 · 25 May 2000]

Mildly entertaining, but never deeply engaging; the sort of thing one expects from a "Masterpiece Theater" costume drama. It's the charming tale of a collection of ready-made English eccentrics dealing with the minor hardships of internment in war-time Italy. Things are not serious enough to give the film dramatic punch, and the whole thing is played too demurely to work as black comedy. The title really tells the whole story--yes, Mussolini is there, and all the horrors of fascism, but really, it's not so bad with a nice cuppa tea.

Herd (1999)

Greatest cow levitation scene ever

[8/10 · 26 April 2000]

Greatest cow levitation scene ever in the history of motion pictures. New uses for little bits and pieces of your household appliances, including your cat clock. How to crack an egg. Further proof that the $200,000,000 spent on Titanic was $199,995,000 more than it takes to make an outstanding movie. Herd has got it all!!

More (1998)

Deeply moving

[8/10 · 26 April 2000]

Deeply moving, if a trifle derivative. Rarely has so much been packed into 6 minutes of animation. The design, the editing, the story are all powerful and evocative. The detail is amazing--right down to the "newspaper" headlines. So delicately nuanced that it requires several viewings.

Sudden Manhattan (1996)

Might have been made from Woody Allen's out-takes

[7/10 · 2 April 2000]

Might have been made from Woody Allen's out-takes; it has the feel of one of his weaker movies. It isn't bad, exactly, but it isn't good, exactly, either. A woman who might or might not be insane might or might not be witnessing murders by a man who might or might not have multiple personality disorder. The men and women who might or might not flit into her life might or might not join her in what might or might not be an investigation. The only characters who seem to be sure of anything are the cop who calmly assures her she hasn't seen anything and the gypsy who is sure of nothing but death, destruction, and collecting for her palm reading. Very funny moments, very freaky moments, and nothing much as a whole.

The Time Machine (1960)

Sorry, folks, this is not great sci-fi

[6/10 · 2 April 2000]

Sorry, folks, this is not great sci-fi; the science is in fact pretty silly. To take only one obvious absurdity, note that after 800,000 years of neglect books are in about the same shape as they would be after 80 years. Neither is it faithful to its source; in fact, it deviates sharply from, and is considerably inferior to, Wells' original (and very bleak) short novel. The one comment on point notes that the original was at heart a bitter attack on England's class structure. The one thing that is really lovely is the machine itself; it is a kind of magic couch that belongs in the Arabian Nights.

Triumph of the Will (1935)

After us, the savage gods

[7/10 · 28 March 2000]

After us, the savage gods is supposedly what Yeats said after seeing Ubu Roi. This is a movie about savage gods; the beginning parodies Christian mysticism as the Leader's plane arrives at the Party Congress in Nuremburg. This goes on and on as stereotyped masses of human bodies line themselves up in geometric forms or stylized tributes offered to the leader (who in spots seems a bit pudgy). The film is technically proficient; possibly the best propaganda of its era. American propagandists learned a great deal from it. Like all propaganda it is secular religion. It is a terrible beauty, a warped beauty of death. One cannot watch it now without knowing how much it is a celebration of death, a worship of death.

Galaxy Quest (1999)

Not a great film, but great fun

[7/10 · 8 January 2000]

Not a great film, but great fun; it's essentially the same plot as Three Amigos, with a good bit of gentle satire on Trek obsession. The thin plot satisfies because the acting is almost without exception just right. Tim Allen is perfectly suited to play pseudo-Shatner, and Alan Rickman as the actor confined for life to drivel is delightful. Not to be missed is Sigourney Weaver's oddly intelligent portrayal of a dumb blonde playing a dumber blonde. The great joke, of course, is that everybody's illusions are in the end entirely true; the aliens, the nerds, and the actors really are right about everything.

It's a Gift (1934)

It's the best

[9/10 · 8 January 2000]

It's the best--the best W.C. Fields movie, and among the best 30's comedies. Unlike some of the better-known Fields films (such as The Bank Dick) it never quite washes away into surrealistic campiness--and this near-reality makes it funnier. Fields is the quintessential dreamer-loser who fails and fails and fails until at the very last moment his failures turn into the source of his utterly unexpected (but perfectly logical) success. Like all great comedy, it's tragedy with a twist (and a nice slug of gin to boot).

Seven Beauties (1975)

A wild, bleak extravaganza

[8/10 · 3 October 1999]

A wild, bleak extravaganza in which our Everyman learns to shed everything--even the honor that was the one thing he had--for survival. There's a near-perfect use of images--for example, the use of bright flowered dresses to signify that yet another sister has become a whore--and an equally perfect use of sound, silence, and music. A very, very dark comedy that is largely summed up in the opening sequence, a long litany of those who are to blame. I quote only a few lines: "the ones who don't enjoy themselves even when they laugh. . . the ones who should have been shot in the cradle (pow!). . . the ones who have never had a fatal accident.. . the ones who have had one. . ."

Avoid the dubbed version; it's terrible.

Zardoz (1974)

Visual daring that doesn't add up to much

[6/10 · 3 October 1999]

Visual daring that doesn't add up to much (except the doubtful moral that civilization is fundamentally a form of castration, so the only man worth having (or being had by) is the savage man). It is absolutely imperative not to think about the plot, which makes practically no sense at all. Let the image just flow and it's not a bad movie; pause to think, and it's silly.

Yellow Submarine (1968)

Not really a Beatles movie;

[7/10 · 3 October 1999]

Not really a Beatles movie; they supplied some of the music and brief cameos. Like other viewers, I detested it when it came out, partially because it seemed to be just another rip-off of the Beatles' name and popularity. I rather like it now for its sheer loopiness. Taken seriously, it's tiresome; taken as a mere weird what-was-that? it's rather fun in an utterly goofy way.