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Reviews
Dragonball Evolution (2009)
I really, really wanted to hate this movie...
But, for the life of my, I can't understand why I actually let myself be entertained by this. Yes, they took extensive liberties with the plot and characterizations, but for them to compress all of Dragonball down into an 86 minute long movie, some changes needed to be made, and in all, they really weren't that bad. What came out after all the Hollywood meddling was an actually fairly decent little action movie. Inoffensive, mildly entertaining, and with enough of the source material in it to make it recognizable. Justin Chatwin was serviceable as Goku, Emmy Rossum made a very good Bulma, and I don't think I could have picked anyone better that Chow Yun-Fat as Master Roshi. All the rest of the characters fall into the "good enough" level. It was actually refreshing to see him go back to his comedy roots a bit for this film.
I am really perplexed at the people screaming, "No Plot! OMG!!!" this movie had just as much plot as the entire rest of the series of DB at any given time. DB isn't complex political intrigue or multi-layered character study. It's about people that fight. Period. The plot that was presented in this movie serviced that well enough.
Another complaint is that this wasn't epic enough. What people seen to forget is that Dragonball, in it's very early days, started just as small as this movie. People didn't get thrown through mountains in the early days. Early Dragonball was more akin to Indiana Jones than the earths crust smashing excess that it became.
If you want to hate this movie because of the flaws, fine, go ahead and hate. Just leave those of us that turned our brain off and enjoyed the movie for what it was alone.
Beauty and the Beast (1987)
All right adaptation
So I was shopping with my Girlfriend the other day and she saw this on the bargain rack. She is a fan of fairy tales and has always liked the story of Beauty and the Beast, so we pick it up. That night we put it into the player and watch. Now, the costumes ware great, and the sets were nice. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie lacked somewhat. The acting by anyone not named deMornay was wooden. I don't think the father could have looked any less interested in his part if he'd have tried. The brothers and sisters tried looking pompous, but came off as looking like they needed a few more acting lessons. The only actor to come even close to deMornay was Beast/Prince, and he still looked like he studied at the Shatner School. And watch out when people break into song. My girlfriend and I were laughing, but for all the wrong reasons. The acting quality and the way scenes were framed had me constantly thinking that we had accidentally picked up a porn movie. I can see that they tried to put on a good show, and for what it's worth, this makes for a good couple hours of quality time with the kids. Just try not to giggle at the thought of an animated statue orgy.
Undead (2003)
Amazing!
I first heard about Undead 6 months ago at a sci-fi festival and ever since then, the stories of this movies greatness just kept getting more and more vivid. Finally, I was able to get an original Australian DVD and watch it.
Believe the hype, this movie is THAT! DAMN! GOOD! There are so many ways that the Spierig Brothers could have just taken the easy route with the storytelling, but they chose to walk a fresher path than the worn out avenues that so many monster and zombie movies have taken recently. With a limited budget, they placed themselves in the same pantheon as Robert Rodriguez and Kevin Smith in one try. The direction is flawless, the acting was perfect (Mungo McKay and Felicity Mason were exceptional), and the movie had just the right amount of camp and reference to the early Zombie greats (Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead, a memorable reference to Evil Dead) but didn't bog itself down in it. And the plot? Anything but your basic zombie series of events. When meteors crash down and turn an entire populace of a town into flesh hungry ghouls, Miss Mason finds herself in the unenviable position of being one of the few people that are uninfected and need to fight back. Mungo McKay, a couple of the local police and a young couple about to have their first child are thrust into the situation with her but as they try to flee, they find their way blocked and there turns out to be more to the zombies than meets the eye. There is more, but to tell it would run the risk of spoiling.
If you have the means, find this movie, watch it. It's worth the effort and this is one movie fan that is intensely awaiting the Spierig brothers next effort.
Bulletproof Monk (2003)
Oh, get over yourselves!
There are movies out there that are destined to become cinematic classics, Legends that will be revered as true examples of the Genre.
Bulletproof Monk is not one of those movies. But you know what, it doesn't pretend to be anything more than 90 minutes of fun. Sean William Scott does a good job of distancing himself from the Stifler character, Chow Yun Fat shocks us all by firing a total of TWO shots in the entire movie, and guess what, both of them non lethal, and Jamie King is just fine in her role as the Russian mob princess that just wants to get out occasionally. It's not a ripoff of Matrix (Oh yeah, one shot of bullet time and wire-fu, both of which existed BEFORE Matrix, is really a blatant rip off), no matter how badly some people want it to be. Remember people, it's the start of summer, the season of the leave your brain at the door movie.
The plot: 1943, Monk is bestowed the gift of being the protector of an ancient scroll that holds the key to near omnipotent power. After his temple is massacred by nazi's, he goes on the run with the head Nazi in pursuit, and 60 years later, he by chance runs into a young pickpocket who just may have the potential to be the next protector of the scroll. People have blasted the plot as being silly and contrived. I find this hilarious seeing as how most of the people that are doing the blasting are big fans of the Matrix, a plotline about as silly and contrived as they get.
Get over yourselves, people. This movie is just a 90 minute excursion into fantasy, and a fun one at that.
Home Movies (1999)
Why?
I've given this show as many viewings as I can stand, and I just have to ask the question: why? Why is this trash still on the air? The Jokes are unfunny, the storytelling, as it is, is nonsensical and rambling, and the Dr Katz squigglevision is migrane inducing. The only reason I can think of why this series is still on the air is it gets people tuning in out of sheer disbelief that something this horrid is still actually being shown. I wish IMDB allowed us to rate TV series, as I would give this a 1. I'd give it a 0, or lower, if I could.
Solaris (2002)
Dull and plodding
Ok, now I knew what I was getting into when I went to see this movie. I knew that it wasn't going to be a 'happy thug with a gun blows stuff up' Sci-Fi movie. I knew there weren't going to be chest bursting aliens, I knew it was going to be a very talky movie, I knew that this movie was supposed to make you think.
That being said, I have to say this movie failed on all accounts. George Clooney is expressionless through most of it, except for a wide eyed 'deer-in-headlights' look, Natascha McElhone (Recently of the terrible Feardotcom) is about as animated as a pencil, and they way they have her staring into the camera sometimes is downright creepy, and some of the plot holes you could drive a truck through. Example: at the beginning of the movie, they mention a military team being sent in to assess the damage and rescue the survivors, if necessary. After Cloony steps onboard the station, Zero mention of them. You would think that Gordon or Snow (the stations final survivors) would have said something about them, or if they turned up someplace, maybe a message would have been waiting for Clooney when he came out of hypersleep. But nope, it's as though they never existed.
The Movies symbolism and messages are about as subtle as getting hit on the head with a hammer. About halfway through the movie, the audience is practicly led by the hand into the analogy of Solaris = God. The soundtrack is overpowering, going for shrilling notes when you get views of the planet. And the 'psychological' aspects of Clooney losing all perception of being clinical and unbiased is hamhandedly and unrealisticly handled. I'm sorry, I don't care how much I want my dead wife, friend, whoever back, I'm going to be a little skeptical when she suddenly appears in front of me out of nowhere (twice). I was told when I got my movie ticket that people were getting refunds left and right from this movie. I can see why, as only the super pretentious would even try to find something remotely resembling entertaining in this movie.
I cannot recommend this movie at all, not as Sci-fi, not as a study in psychology, nothing. Avoid, and if you feel that you HAVE to see it, wait until it's out on video, then find someone who rented or bought it and borrow it off of them.
Modern Vampires (1998)
Camp is not dead
The plot? barely!
The pacing? Plodding and inept!
the Characters? Nary a sympathetic character in sight.
So why am I laughing and liking this movie so much?
This movie is definitely more than the sum of it's parts. The movie is pure camp, but it never takes itself too seriously. Casper Van Dein, Rod Steiger, and the Crips chew up so much scenery that they should have styofoam poisoning. Oh, and may I say that Natasha Gregson Wagner is absolutely delectable in her tiny blue dress.
Just a fun movie that would be a great way to waste 2 hours. Invite your friends over and heckle away.
3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)
a great action flick!
You know, sometimes I think that I'm the only person in America that liked a movie. 3000 Miles to Graceland is one of those movies.
This movie combined elements from Quenten Tarantino and John Woo to make a great flick. Does it have the most engrossing plot? no. Are it's characters completely fleshed out? no. But who goes to an action film for those? You want good action and wonderful storytelling, go see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. You want a fun, blood soaked, shoot em up where everyone gets what is coming to them in the end, then, this is the movie for you.
Kevin Costner shows us that he can still put on an inspired performance with his psychotic Murph, Kurt Russell almost makes us forget "Escape from LA" and it's nice to see Courtney Cox putting some weight back on.
The supporting cast did their jobs admirably (Kevin Pollack and Thomas Hayden Church were far too underutilized as the wisecracking federal Marshals) and the direction was very edgy and kept you enthralled. Yeah, all these critics lambast the quick, music video like cuts used, but I'll bet you they couldn't look away, for fear of missing the next cool thing to pop up.
3000 Miles to Graceland is well worth the price of admission, and I could reccomend this to anyone looking for great action.
Pitch Black (2000)
The Best Sci-Fi of the year 2000
*Minor spoilers ahead*
All I can say about this movie is WOW! this makes my third viewing of it and it is still as intense and suspenseful as the first.
I have seen Pitch Black described as formulaic. Well, it's a formula that works.
After crash landing on a deserted planet, a small group of civilians, the only remaining crewmember left alive, a Bounty Hunter, and Riddick, a convicted killer being sent back to the slam after an escape. They have to figure out how to get off the planet which has three suns in different orbits around it, so they are constantly bathed in scorching light. Adding to the complications, Riddick (excellently played by Vin Diesel) has escaped and is sneaking around the wreckage. Soon however, they find that Riddick is the least of their worries, when one of the survivors, while digging a mass grave for the dead, is dragged underground by some nightmare creatures. Through their investigations, they find that the creatures cannot be exposed to light, so they stay mainly underground, you would think that a plan to simply stay in the constant sunlight provided by the three suns would be a good idea, right?
Unfortunately, the find through use of a model of the solar system that they are within days of a total solar eclipse that happens once every 22 years, cutting them off from all the light. They work to get a rescue skiff ready for launch, but the eclipse is closer than you think. They fail to get the final component (some fuel cells) for lift-off out of the crash ship before darkness finally falls and the creatures come out.
The movie is neatly divided into two parts: Before and after the eclipse. Before the eclipse is the setting up of the characters, the psychological Riddick and Johns (the bounty hunter) play with each other. How the characters are actually human, not your typical Sci Fi archetypes.
After the eclipse, it becomes a battle for survival. Characters change into ruthless 'every-man-for-himself' types, quivering cowards, or true heroes. There is no true good guy, just an antihero and the rest trying to survive as they are picked off one by one.
The ending is surprising and terrifying at the same time, and Riddicks cries of "Not for me!" will go with you long after the final credits have rolled.
If you have the means and ability, get the unrated directors cut. it flashes out the characters a bit more, and you get a better feel for them.
One of the great Sci Fi movies. Give it a 10.