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Reviews
Teeth (2007)
Excellent Telling of A Girl Coming of Age(With a Wicked Twist}
Dawn{Jess Weixler)female teenager with the normal quirky ,awkward , and awakened sexual feelings is sometimes completely unsure of the maturing of her body and the raging hormones that are unleashed!
Living in the shadows of the nuclear power plant Dawn appears to be the victim of some type of radioactive mutation "Vagina Dentata.", teeth in the nether region that are activated when an intruder tries to violate her, more of a defense protection.
Her high school love Tobey(Hale Appleman) is her first victim as an uncontrolled urge prompts him into a rape mode and Dawn defends herself , unknowingly unleashing "Them."
Written and Directed competently by Michael Lichtenstein this film captures all of the odd and pulsating feelings of teenage relationships, with a twist. Jess Weixler is perfectly cast as the victim and she really delivers an Oscar Worthy performance.
Dealing with her nascent sexuality and the compromises that accompany it, you really want to help her.
Complicating the situation is step-brother Brad(John Hensley)sexually active drug head with no moral compromises of his own. He has been after Dawn since they were kids. 9 stars out of 10. Great ironic horror.
Meteor (1979)
Wasted Talent, Waste of Time , Waste of Film !
IF I had a dime every time the word"Hercules" was used in the film, I could have gone to see a better movie ! This film stinks because of the waste of talent, Sean Connery, Natalie Wood, Henry Fonda,Karl Malden all take a bow in this asteroid turd of a film, it is horrible. It must have been written by a 2 year-old, because nobody in their right mind would attack an asteroid with atomic weapons, see "Armageddon", and live to tell about it !It would create a much worse problem ! Post Star Wars special effects are simple minded and dumb, and that is putting it politely. It almost makes "The Black Hole" tolerable, and that film was really a black hole, Disney at its worst. When stars need a paycheck, they make a sci-fi film, nothing could be more true than "Meteor." A 5 mile meteor is headed toward Earth at 35,000 miles per hour, and if they don't shoot it down with "Hercules", then bad things will happen, like a sequel???
Anyway, Scientist Paul Bradley(Sean Connery) must save the day, although, I thought that his solution to go across the street to the local bar was an excellent start, and finish, It really should have ended there, but it didn't. Enter Russian Scientist Tatiana Nikolaevna Donskaya(Natalie Wood), who has her own plans to stop the meteor,would you believe(Peter the Great)?, good luck...Of course you can see these clash of ideals threatens to doom both plans. Yep, written by a 2 year-old, I'm sure of it. So, if you want to waste 107 plus minutes of your life,then grab the popcorn , and some heavy duty alcohol, because you will need it when you start to howl ! What a Turdfest !!!
The X Files: Field Trip (1999)
Take a Field Trip With Mulder and Scully, for the Time of Your Lives !
Field Trip, one of the best X-Files ever ! Creepy and Erie out of sync story telling with strange results.The late Kim Manners directs with Great Skill, a Mulder and Scully investigation in North Carolina where a married couple's skeletons have been found. Clothesless and left in a field, with no identifying marks for cause of death. Mysterious to say the least.
Beware the mushrooms and goo that have disastrous consequences. Almost a stream of consciousness episode, but just bizarre, and a great concept ! It really tests your concept of reality, similar to a dream within a dream, just when you think you have an answer, reality changes, wow, really keeps you on your toes. Enjoy, Sci-Fi at its Best!
Daybreakers (2009)
New Spin on Vampires with an Almost Good Effort !
The Spiering Bros. present a film that has been in the can for a couple of years, well , the copyright was 2008 on the end credits. So, that being said, either lack of funding or faith, or both keep this film from a timely release.
In the year 2019 , Vampires rule the world, but now face a shortage of blood as humans are becoming scare. Even harvesting them has its' limits, and now the search for a synthetic alternative is desperately needed. Enter the corporation of Bromley-Marks, solely dedicated to the survival and proliferation of the Vampire race.
So, as it turns out, sucking your own blood is a no-no, with disastrous consequences. This is where the sub-vampire race literally survives, in the underworld, and even they are getting antsy for a new blood supply, so they seek the suburbs, this is a hilarious plot device.
Dr. Edward Dalton(Ethan Hawk) one of the leading hematologists assigned to find the cure for Bromley-Marks Corp., is a victim of his brother, now both vampires, and has no desire to find humans or harm them. Brother Frankie Dalton(Michael Dorman) , works in security as a finder of humans, and he does his job quite well.
Charles Bromley(Sam Neill) is the head corporate baddie, whose desire to find and promote the Vampire race overrides his fatherly devotions and places corporate profits at the top of his agenda.
Needless to say, Hawke literally runs into humans and they become close associates, in order to find a cure , and secure the human race from a Vampire feast.
The positives of the film are the fresh approach, good chase scene, interesting special effects, good acting. The negatives are an average script, that relies on shock value and ALLOT of blood, but doesn't trust itself enough to deliver the powerful impact that it should have. And there are the traditional conventional scenes, and some are repeated within minutes of each other.
Still it is worth viewing, especially on A big screen. Lionel "Elvis" Cormac( Willianm Defoe) plays the once human-once vampire-now human again, and has THE answer Hawke is looking for.
So, if you are looking for a multicultural Vampire film, then you might enjoy this one. I gave it 7 out of 10 for a decent effort, but the final punch, just not there. And yes, Michael Dormans eyelids flutter after he was partially consumed,drained of blood and left for dead. Interesting edit...
End of Days (1999)
End of a Film Career, and Intelligent Viewing !
How Arnold remained a Star, after viewing THIS attempt at Sci-Fi/ Horror of the up and coming date with the Millennium, they even have the year wrong, what does that tell you.....
Satan MUST mate with THE Chosen One, Christine York( Robin Tunney), in an effort to bring about "The End of Days! " With New Years Eve as the backdrop, a prelude to the End of Days !
And of course, Jericho Cane(Arnold Shwarzenegger), a New York cop, determined to prevent the renegade priests, or the Devil(Gabriel Byrne), from doing any harm or impregnating her. He feels responsible for his families murders, he was not there to prevent them from being killed. Subplot that almost works , until Arnold jumps onto the Christmas tree.ha...ha...
Anyway, you can slow the Devil down, by shooting him and blowing him up, yes , that is the premise, of course, doesn't he come from the Land of Fire and Brimstone, so , how can Fire affect him , duh, I guess Homer Simpson wrote the screenplay....Whatever, it is almost entertaining until they get to the subway chase scene, and well, hands pop up, down , and sideways in the subway car, yeah, its the Devil but , if he is metaphysical, , why not just appear and take your booty ? Dunno....
Anyway, Arnold ends up sacrificing himself and the last vestiges of dignity , and credibility by jumping onto a sword in Church, after being infected with the Devils Soul, assuming he has one....
This film is a waste of time, unless like me , you enjoy Special Effects, and chase scenes.....if not, then keep looking....
I gave this film a 3 for Special Effects....BTW, the New Millennium Officially started in 2001....not 2000....
The X Files: I Want to Believe (2008)
Good Film Making ! Well Done Thriller with X-files Title !
Chris Carter in an effort to renew the spirit of the "X-Files " TV show, has put together a well done thriller , with the best of the ingredients from the TV Show,Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny. Both Actors are very talented, and their "chemistry" continues, in an effort to find an FBI agent, who has disappeared under mysterious circumstances.
Father Joe(Bill Connelly) , delivers an excellent performance as a pedophile priest,who has been seeing visions of the abduction, and needs to help in order to be exonerated in the eyes of God and the Church. The pace of the film is good, and continues in a forward direction, with every scene.
Dana Scully(Gillian Anderson) , is now a Dr./surgeon, whose full time duties include pediatrics,in a Catholic facility. Mulder(David Duchovny), is a recluse, and spends his time not shaving, and throwing pencils into the ceiling.
Scully finds Mulder , and encourages him to help, in what is considered a fringe X-Files case.
Special Agent Dakota Whitney(Amanda Peete), is assigned to lead in the investigation, turns in a good performance, as the intermediary FBI agent.
There are other abductions, not alien, who help build onto the case, and lead to the criminals.
If you are expecting aliens, that would be Indiana Jones/Crystal Skull, not this version of the X-Files. Maybe the next one.
Stay thru the credits to see the teaser, and look for Tom Braidwood's name in the credits, the only "Lone Gun Man" to make it into the film, be it in an off-handed way.
So even though it doesn't have all of the eeriness of the TV X-Files, it is still worth seeing, just not the intended way fans want . I gave it an 8, worthy of good film making, with an X-Files Title. Also, plenty of screen time with Mulder and Scully, well worth your time.
Just don't expect creepy monster blockbuster from outer space, that is what fans want to see.
Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed (2008)
God Created Science ! End of Story !
If ever there was a movie that brought out polar opposites, "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed" is the one !
From the comments I have seen, the argument that "Intelligent Design" is NOT even a valid argument , assumes that if there is "Intelligent Design" , there is no room for science, which is just LUDICROUS !
Darwininsm is JUST theory, but some of the Secularists in charge, embrace it as DOGMA, isn't that ironic. Your Uncle was an ape, great, then why are there apes ?
Darwinism is just a fraudulent way of eliminating God, which , ISN'T a religion . The movie SUGGESTS, that people who center themselves in the middle of the Universe are creating their own rules, their own kingdom , so there is no other room for another God or Gods. Such as the Birth of Naziism, Ben Stein does a VERY credible job of interviewing and exploring the WAR between the Secularists, and people who CONSIDER, the possibility of Intelligent Design.
The Woody Allen belief, I create my own moral Universe. Such is the belief system of the Secularists, who embrace Darwinism as their God, ironic, isn't it, and there is no room for another way of thinking !
I encourage people to go and see the movie and judge for yourselves, if Ben Stein treats this subject fairly, or whether the Darwinists are threatened by the light of day ...I gave it a 9, for actively encouraging people to think, and ASK questions .!
The Lone Gunmen (2001)
Heroes of the UnCommon/ Common Man !!!
The Lone Gunmen, castoffs in a society which doesn't tolerate people outside of the circle, was one of those unique , and interesting shows, which are hard or nearly impossible to duplicate.
So much for diversity!
Characters created by Glen Morgan and James Wong , Richard "Ringo" Langly (Dean Haglund) Computer Geek Extraordinaire , Melvin Frohike (Tom Braidwood) Electronics Wizard , and J. F. Byers (BruceHarwood) Humanitarian and Seeker of the Truth, team up to form one of the oddest combinations of all time . Added to the Team were Jimmy "James" Bond(Stephen Snedden), and their adversarial counterpart Yves Adel Harlowe, it spells Lee Harvey Oswald(Zuleika Robinson), Zuleikha means " Beautiful One " in Farsi,(Persian) . I guess the TRUE irony is that you CANNOT find the Actors Names ON or IN the DVD box it comes in!!! WOW! What a Snub !!! Thanks Fox, what Class!
The Simpsons is on for over 15 years, but they cancel this program ?
Go Figure ! This was the only show which Predicted the Possibility of an Attack on America and they get rewarded by Cancellation !
They didn't inspire evil, but tried to prevent it .
INCREDIBLE!
These actors WERE real heroes for their Visionary thinking, and always taking on More than the average Joe . The only real enemies they had were ones that were afraid of people who ask TOUGH questions .
Pilot Episode deals with the disappearance of Byers' father and the possibility of a terrorist attack .
Also introduces Zuleikha Robinson, TV will not be the same .
Episode #1 introduces Jimmy "James" Bond, created for comic relief and to provide a "Bond", sorry for the pun, to play against the trio and the audience.
Episode #2 puts Frohike in Leiderhosen, which I find HILARIOUS,I guess you have to have a European background to really" GET" the joke , as they try to reunite a long lost son with his mother .
Episode # 3 has the Trio searching for a vehicle that runs on H2O, a personal favorite .
Episode # 4 finds the Team babysitting , while trying to find the killer of a political campaign employee .
Episode # 5 attempts to solve a man's claim to a house, in a community where no one seems to know him.
Episode # 6 has The Lone Gunmenmatching wits with a Super-Intelligent Chimp, this is AAA Material and a Classic !!! Yes, it wins the Homer Simpson Award for people who enjoy chimps with High I.Q.'s.
Episode # 7 finds Byers and Jimmy in prison , attempting to find the truth behind a murder , this show actually crosses the border into Drama, but finds it's way back in the second half . Interesting, but tough to watch .
Episode # 8 the Boys are on the track of a poacher of Grizzlies, but find themselves in over their head .
Episode # 9 Tango Los Pistoleros is a Classic , with Yves and the Team in Miami, on the trail of Government Secrets . A Personal Favorite !!!
Episode # 10 finds A D Skinner,from the X-Files, in the middle of a who dun-nit, as the chief suspect !!! Mitch Peliggi finally gets to showcase his acting ability in a Tour DE Force performance .
Episode # 11 Cap'n Toby , Langly's childhood TV idol, under arrest for espionage !!! For those who like Tom Poston, this one is for you .
Episode # 12 "All About Yves", Morris Fletcher teams with the Gunmen, in order to retrieve a stolen computer disc, taken by Yves. Episode is one-dimensional and except for a great opening, dull .
This was the NEVER FINISHED , supposedly "To Be Continued " episode that completely leaves the viewer in LIMBO . "Jump the Shark", an X-Files program from their last season, ATTEMPTS to end the story line of the last episode from "The Lone Gunmen" series, but COMPLETELY misses the mark, by Eliminating the Gunmen in some ham-handed mishmash, throwing in the towel for a total lack commitment to the fans and ACTORS who enjoyed this Series . The term "Jump The Shark " is an industry inside joke, that means a TV show has reached a point of obsolescence, and needs to be dumped, so when the title was added to the final episode, you get a feel of what they are really trying to say . Dump this Turkey in the nearest trash bin !!! The Greatest complement I give "Jump The Shark" is of its' testament to the stupidity of Man to eats it's young .
So enjoy the pilot and 11 episodes, only watch the 12th one and "Jump The Shark", if you want to be disappointed with intelligent programming for adults who enjoy some fantasy. Mark Snow was really coming into his own with the Music that was taking the Gunmen into a higher level of programming . Too bad for us and him. Get the DVD, nice extras....
Whatever .......