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The English Patient (1996)
What a dull drag
I really wanted to like this, as I'd like to believe the academy wouldn't just throw around awards. But what a drag. Honestly, it starts out so mysterious and promising: an unrecognizable man tries to remember his past and who knows what secrets he hides? But then you realize it's just a dull affaire. And besides the slow pacing, and the empty story: what an unappealing romance? Why are the sensual scenes so agressive? Is this what they think 'passion' is? Am I not old enough to understand why it's supposed to be endearing to hit eachother or tear up clothes? It completely put me off and I didn't feel any real chemistry or emotions. Except maybe for Colin's character. But that didn't save the movie.
Army of Darkness (1992)
Ash's one-liners vs the undead
And we have a clear winner. Honestly if you've gone through Evil Dead 1 and 2, this is the magnificent cherry on top of the crazy cake. Groovy.
Hostel (2005)
Unrealistic trash
The first half of the movie is absolute garbage. The only thing they showed me is that the writer watches too much basic porn and wanted to create something familiar to that - and then some. It's not realistic that those girls didn't just vomit half the time because of those ape-minded dudes. The movie didn't even properly get going and I already couldn't wait for them to get tortured to death.* Slightly disappointing that one of them got out, even though his escape and revenge tactics were very satisfying. But I'm not sure whether that was and actual good scene, or if my standards were just on the floor at that point.
*The only thing that could've slightly redeemed this movie, was some gruesome excessive torture, but all I got was off-screen clipping and a laughable fake eye. If there's more it wasn't memorable. So it didn't even deliver as torture .
Mother! (2017)
Introvert's nightmare
I have never felt more attacked, unsafe and uncomfortable during a movie. The way things escalate - for example the amount of uninvited, entitled strangers just walking into their house (??) - made me want to rip my skin off. And that was even before all the áctual weird stuff began to happen... This movie was just 2 hours of me muttering 'what the f... ?' under my breath while staring at the screen in horror and crawling as far back on my couch as possible. If that was the goal though, good job then.
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)
Don't
I used to think there was nothing left that could faze me. I seem to have been mistaken. You are not prepared to watch this, trust me. The world is now divided into people who have seen The Human Centipede 2, and people who have not. Choose carefully which side you want to be on, because there is no turning back.
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Taika Waititi is a god
One of the best Marvel movies ever made. I would say it's the best if only I would still be able to compare it to the mass of movies the MCU has become by now.