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dechha1981
Reviews
Pinocchio's Revenge (1996)
It was so good, the nudity was almost a pity
(This review contains a huge spoiler, but I don't know how to explain how cool it is without giving it away) I saw "pinoccio's Revenge" a while ago.
Now, you might think it's just a rip-off of Child's play. Indeed there are similarities.
However, Chucky was a possessed doll who works independently of the kid. It is POSSIBLE that Pinoccio is possessed with a demon or cursed or something. however, the puppet itself is actually completely inanimate. The KID is insane, and THE KID is the one killing people! Everyone, including the audience, the survivors and the Kid herself thinks it's the doll. But it's the KID.
The nudity is almost a pity, because otherwise I could tell everyone to see it, because it really is an interesting horror movie.
Pretty Cool (2002)
Good 80's throwback
It's about time they made more movies like this. I don't know about you but I'm sick of horror movies with no nudity. Paris Hilton was doing a striptease while camping near a town run by a family of serial killers and there STILL wasn't any nudity! Bloody hell! There, got that off my chest. Now...
This movie is so similar to the old 80's teen sex comedies that you almost forget it wasn't made in the 80's until you see/hear a few modern references. They even used Sound FX from "Zapped".
The main character in this movie possesses the ability to both read minds and to control other people's minds. Anything from simply making them think about something to making them fart to forcing them to adopt a different personality.
Fushigi no kuni no Miyuki-chan (1995)
Good (but not as good as it could have been)
Miyuki-Chan in wonderland is a Barbarella-like satire of Alice In Wonderland. Miyuki herself, for all intents and purposes, seems to be a teenage Japanese girl, except she has long blonde hair, which in Japan is unusual.
Every single character in the entire movie is a pretty girl in some sort of fetish costume, and most if not all of them seem to be lesbians. The White Rabbit, for example, is a playboy bunny on a skateboard. The Queen of hearts is a dominatrix. And so on.
It seems to me, each chapter could have been extended, and Miyuki-Chan could/should have been submitted to all the things the other characters clearly wanted t do to her, rather than giving her a chance to run away before they could really do things to her.
A Scanner Darkly (2006)
Very unusual movie
A scanner Darkly was Rotoscpoped (That is, they filmed live-action actors and traced over them) As a result, if you pause at any given frame it will look like a comic, but when the pictures move everything tends to shift around in odd ways.
The movie is set in a near future, not much has changed, except the invention of "The Scramble Suit" and "Substance D", some small improvements in watches, Mobile phones, computers etc, society itself deteriorating at a much faster rate, and the government is using Substance D as an excuse to spy on their own citizens. Most of the above is connected. It's a little like 1984 with drugs.
The Scrable suit is a full body cloth suit with a sack-like mask over the head. When taken off (possibly because of the animation process) it looks like silver metal but folds like ordinary cloth. When activated, the wearer of the suit, one minute, might have the left eye of a black woman, the right eye of a white man, the left cheek of an Asian girl, the mouth of a guy with a beard, etc, and then the next minute it will all switch around.
There's a few odd things about the Scramble Suit though (as if that wasn't odd enough) They basically only wear it inside their own office, except one in a speech at the brown Bear Lodge. They never seem to use it as a stable disguise. Therefore, why not just use an ordinary mask? And how come you can eat without pulling up the head? His friends, Robert Downey Jr. and Woody Harrilson, are both paranoid conspiracy theorists who, ironically, really are being spied on. But if anything their paranoia is only helping those spying on them. Freck is beyond being a conspiracy theorist, he's paranoid about nonexistent aphids. He's REALLY messed up. Presumably he either been addicted longer or has taken more than the others. Freck is Gollum and Keanu Reeves is Frodo.
SPOILERS START HERE There's probably plot points that I missed. There's probably multiple stuff lots of people miss. And I'm probably wrong about some things. But here's my overview of the conspiracy going on; Keany Reeves is a cop who spies on his own druggie friends. He's also been shun a picture of himself and told "Keep an eye on this guy". But he himself is the subject of a bigger conspiracy perpetrated by his boss's bosses. Wynona Reider has an aversion to make contact, yet she's Keanu's girlfriend. This is such a problem that it causes him to ask one of the psychiatrists examining him what to do, and she specifically advises "little blue flowers".
He was intentionally told to spy on himself, then later told the one they were really after was Robert Downey Jr. or rather, they wanted to intentionally make him so paranoid that he would become an informant. So you basically have three informants in the same house.
That's part of it, but the other reason he spied on himself was to keep an eye on himself, so that they can see how he was progressing. They were intentionally turning him into a drug addict so that they could use him as an unwitting spy on the Newpath rehab center, which is also a front for the actual farm that makes Substance D! And, the Psychiatrists intentionally mentioned "little blue flowers" so that he would remember that idea, collect one, and give it to Donna next chance he got. To be fair, maybe they really do rehabilitate the people they put on Substance D.
And it seems to be an autonomous company rather than a government funded facility, since the cops are trying to get spies in there. Then again, maybe the orders to spy on Newpath came from Police ranks who were unaware of the connection between Newpath and the Government. most likely, the government founded Newpath and the genetic engineering of the blue flowers and Substance D, for the intention of getting so many people addicted as an excuse to spy on people and, at the same time, pretend they're doing something good by making poor attempts to stop an evil they put there in the first place.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
If you liked the Gene Wilder version...
...then you probably won't like this version. If you liked the book better than the Gene Wilder version you'll probably like this version. If, like me, your favorite part of the Gen Wilder version was Gene Wilder's insane rant in the tunnel, this is the version for you! THE CHARACTERS; CHARLIE BUCKET In almost all adventure/fantasy stories there's always one character who's job is to meet more interesting characters. this is him.
VERUCA SALT Veruca is a bit younger than she was in the Gene Wilder version, and if anything, more of a bitch. Her demise is closer to the book.
VIOLET BEUREGUARD Violet provided the writer with a problem; most of the children are fairly clichéd, but an obsession with chewing gum doesn't tell you much else about her. Howevere, Violet was also a world record holder, so in this version she's not obsessed with chewing gum, she's obsessed with winning.
MIKE TEAVEA Mike TeaVea is an updated version of the character, but in many ways still true to the book. he's a hacker and obsessed with violent video games. He's totally disinterested in anything outside of electronics, he doesn't even like chocolate, he mainly entered the contest, it seems, just for the challenge of doing so.
AUGUSTUS GLOOP Orgustus is about the same as he always was. In the Gene Wilder version he's wearing leaderhozen (Which has gone out of fashion in Germany for centuries except for ceremonial purposes) In this version he's dressed like Pugsley.
In the story there's allot of little stories, back stories generally. In the Gene Wilder version, Gene just told the stories, and then not all of them. But in this version they actually had flashbacks, and even added afew.
One of the interesting things is that this story is possibly based on the theory that kids turn out the way they do because of parents (Which isn't always true; my brother's a criminal and I'm fine,) but never mind that.
Veruca's father is like a Genie. She has only to inform him that she wants something and he will produce it, and he's raising her to believe that that's how the world works. Her mother appears to be drunk. Augustus's father is a butcher and both his parents are unhealthy. Violet's mother seems to be a single mother but one who clearly is obsessed with competition. (Personally, I like to think that her biological father was a judge of some event at which her mother was cheating). Mike Teavea, not quite the same, but except for the cool entertainment system, everything else in his house seems to be pretty dull INCLUDING his parents.
Even Willy Wonka himself is explained basically as rebellion from his fanatical dentist father.
Grandpa Joe, in the book, was a bed-ridden old guy who's always talking about Willy Wonka, and as soon as he saw the golden ticket he actually lept out of bed and yelled "Yippee!" This version is technically accurate to the book, but I imagined it quicker, like a gunshot, and his voice more like an 1890's prospector. (Still, Grandpa Joe getting out of bed didn't go on nearly as long as it did in the Gene Wilder version.) In the movie his obsession and knowledge of Willy Wonka is explained by the fact that he used to work for him.
There were three rival chocolate makers who sent double-agents to work for Wonka and get the recipes. so wonka had to close down the entire factory. But he then obtained Oompa Loompas. He pays them in cocoa beans, which he works in anyway, so basically they're... not slaves exactly... but Serfs. Definitely Serfs. But every single one is an actor named Deep Roy, who is already a little person but they made him half as tall as he really is, so he comes up to everyone else's knees.
Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
opposite of Lord of the Rings
To be perfectly honest I've never played the actual board game. I've heard of it, and I've played the video game "D&D; Dragonshard" (So far, worst RTS ever) and I remember the cartoon.
The movie isn't too bad as long as you expect absolutely nothing. What surprises me is that I recall that it was a theatrical movie once, and really the movie isn't good enough to be anything more than a direct-to-video movie.
Could've used; bigger budget better Orcs more female elves better special effects loose the guy with blue lipstick more creatures (Beholders, Orcs, Drow, etc) better actors to play thieves better Dwarf
Basically, Lord of the rings was a high-budget, believable, well-plotted trilogy. This is not Lord of the Rings.
The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Very good
You know a chick flick is good when a GUY gives it a good review.
I went to see it mainly because Anne Hathaway was in it.
Hathaway is this kind of nerdy college graduate working as an assistant for a fashion magazine. Her boss is such a bitch that she keeps everyone around her in a perpetual state of panic. Everyone in the company, the assistants, the accountants, the lawyers, etc, spend as much if not more time obsessing over their appearance and starving themselves than the models do. The boss has trouble understanding a failure to achieve the impossible, but if you actually achieve the impossible she will greet it with "That's all".
Anne Hathaway looks good after she's cleaned up.
Hollow Man II (2006)
Sucked
(Warning; Spoiler. skip to the last paragraph) this is just my opinion, but the first movie, up until Kraine (Bacon) changed the passwords on the lab doors, the movie was all about what we'd do (or what we'd fantasize about doing, anyway) if we were invisible. After that point, however, the movie basically becomes a rip-off of Alien.
In hollow Man II, they basically skipped all the Paul Verhoven stuff and went directly into the Alien rip-off. This makes about as much sense as making a re-make of "the Wizard of Oz" and focusing on what Uncle Henry and Aunty Em are doing while Dorothy is asleep. there's only two scenes in which a female takes her clothes off, and then Christian Slater doesn't even really do anything to them.
In the first movie, Kevin Bacon is actually there all the time, and he becomes "visible" in several ways; blood splatter, water, plugs on head, infrared, manipulating objects (and body parts) etc. Even when he's wearing a latex mask you can clearly see both that he is there and that he isn't. In hollow Man II, Christian Slater is often just a voice-over and the other actors are just miming. At one point, Christian Slater is wearing a ski mask with eye holes, and the female scientist sprays him in the eyes with yellow spray paint (the SAME spray paint she already used to see his vein) and yet, for some odd reason, the spray paint only made the mask yellow around the holes, it didn't make his eyelids visible.
You don't even see the actual anatomic transformation, You do see; Slater washing some blood of his face with tap water, two invisible guys fighting in the rain, footsteps on grass and carpets, but nothing even close to the sleeping redhead in the first movie. Most of the "Effects" in Hollow Man II are no more high tech and nowhere near as clever as the scene where Elizabeth Shue's coke kept disappearing.
To summaries; if you liked hollow man for the same reason I did, don't waste your time with this one.