MarplotRedux Reviews

Nightmare Asylum (1992 Video)

For Connisewers

[1/10 · 29 June 2012]

The traditional dictionary definition of "asylum" is "a place where one can be safe" – a shelter, sanctuary, refuge. Back during the 1930's when I was a kid, my folks would take me to a wildlife sanctuary, and I'd get to feed stale bread to ducks. Therefore, one might assume that a nightmare asylum would be a place where people who suffered from nightmares could go to have pleasant sleep. Or, since this was a fantasy movie, perhaps a place where repetitive nightmares could go to obtain some much needed rest. For instance, I repeatedly dream that it's the first week of the academic year, that there are several classes that it's very important I attend, that I don't know where or when they are, and that the university has a policy of never releasing such information. That could use a rest, as well as the one where I'm teaching a class with no idea of what I'm supposed to be teaching. However, this wasn't such a movie. Unlike other reviewers, I watched it through to the end, though with the sound turned down because I couldn't make out what the nice folks in it were saying anyway and my dog needed her nap. The set was super low-budget, which I liked: mostly a cellar with steam pipes and the usual corridors that lead to dead ends. If the cast had appeared on the old Dragnet show, each member would have been arrested for overacting. The theme music should have been People, people who ear people / Aren't the most popular people in the world. The hamburger and various scrap meats seemed fresh enough, and leaner than what one usually finds in supermarkets, while the spaghetti seemed sufficiently cooked but not overcooked. I hope that the cast and staff salvaged most of their gore grub afterwards. The fight and dismemberment choreographies were frantic, unconvincing and boring. Especially those of a large, bewigged gentleman who waved a huge knife and his small, skinny gentleman pal. Since this film was made in the early 90's the pal didn't seem to be a Significant Other. That was kind of the author, producer and director.

Twister's Revenge! (1988)

Twister triumphant !!!

[5/10 · 21 June 2012]

There seem to be only two reactions by reviewers: Gaaaaaaah! (thus its overall 2 rating) and Yay! (burp). I watched it sober, with a few intermissions while doing other things, and found it a good slapstick comedy with acting quite adequate for what it was trying to accomplish. But then Curley Howard is one of my three or four favorite actors. The female lead had a fairly easy role: mostly one of being gagged, bound, and tied to a chair next to a ticking bomb. She also was quite adequate. The monster truck was more than adequate: it was noble, inspiring,overcoming all obstacles; sadly, its eventual tank opponent lacked personality. Delightfully, indeed considerately, all characters, both primary and minor, survived explosions, the houses they occupied being flattened, and numerous other deadly experiences with no worse effects than soiled clothing and temporary confusion. None of the characters, including the tank, could shoot accurately, but this is typical of such movies … unlike the "blood and gore all over the floor, and me without my spoon" ones. The sound on my copy was dreadful, but I've been having trouble with sound on my laptop anyway, so this may not have been the fault of my very inexpensive DVD. Would I watch this again? No, but the once was fun.

The Vampire Conspiracy (2005)

A severe case of vocabulary poverty

[2/10 · 2 June 2012]

I'm a fan of low, low, low budget movies. In this one, almost the entire set was of what I assume were plasterboard corridors. Fine. The film's colors kept fading to black, white and red. Fine. The actors and actresses were inexperienced. Since they tried hard, fine. So why did I give it such a low rating? (1) I won't swear to this, but would estimate that at least 25% of the words that the characters spoke were forms of the f-word. This gets monotonous. When I'm finally able to finance Inconsiderate Fatheads From Outer Space, I shall have the alien invaders repeatedly saying "carnal knowledge", "sexual congress", and "fornication". The worst that the Good Guys shall say will be "darn", "shucks" and, in dire extremity, "poo". (2) Another quarter or so of the remaining dialog was incomprehensible, even though I had the sound turned way up. So, although I was able to follow the overall plot, many of its details never registered. All that said, that overall plot was novel, the extras who portrayed the undead were well made up. They snarled, crawled (when necessary) and bit well. I was surprised that when a fairly blunt, though jagged, wooden spike was thrown at them it would go through them so easily, but then their bodies may have decomposed quite a bit. The best thing in the film was the music. Sad to say, even it lacked.

Play Dead (I) (2009 Video)

Mindless duh

[1/10 · 9 May 2012]

Why did I watch this movie all the way through? All, all, dreadful all? Because I wanted to write a review of it for you nice people at IMDb , that's why. Begin with something positive? Okay: like Desperation and the several Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies, this one is a valuable reminder to big city folks like me … well, Topeka is a sorta-big city … to ride clear of isolated small towns. Especially ones without cell- phone service (nor internet service!). Folks in them can be kinda inconsiderate. Negatives? Well, starting with a little one, even in my rootin'-tootin'-backpackin' days, had I suffered even a small part of the beatings that some of the characters received I would have been out of things for the rest of the hour and a half. A bit more serious: repeated use of the f word, including in seemingly-unwarranted incestuous accusations. Much more serious: again and again I was baffled by what motivated both the behaviors and failures to do anything of both the Good Guys and the Bad Guys. No spoiler, but this bafflement reached Bottomless Pit depths with the Bad Guys' behavior at the film's climax. The one exception was the behavior of the Retard,who was also portrayed by the only good actor. Couldn't this last say more about me than the movie? Maybe, but it seems only fair to warn others. When I was a lad there was a famous often-banned novel about ladies who chose to live an Alternative Lifestyle. It was called The Well of Loneliness. This movie is the Sump of Emptiness.

You Move You Die (2007 Video)

Bang bang bang, thud thud thud; bang ...

[6/10 · 7 May 2012]

I bought this as the third disc in a set labeled Thugs and Guns; that label applies especially well to this film. Either you like depictions of ruthless, insensitive violence or you don't. I do, but then I'm also a devoted fan of Cheld's Play's Chucky: Go, doll baby, go! Despite what another reviewer (birck) wrote, I found the camera work in this movie forceful, compelling in its through-the-eye-of-the-pep way. As the camera moves around, you do too. The movie's split-screen effects were distracting at first, but as I got more and more used to them, also quite effective. Yes, throughout most of the movie it was very, very unclear why the leads were doing what they were doing, but the explanation at the end was most satisfactory. Though unrealistic and unrealistically bloodless, the many, many action scenes were also well done. However, unlike my feelings toward Chucky, I kept hoping that the lead characters would each come to painful final ends. "Did they?" Gosh, would I write a Spoiler? One warning: over the years I've worked with several Australians. To be sure, the characters depicted are New Zealanders, but both drive on the wrong side of the street. Language used by the Aussies I've known is much more cooth than that of these Kiwi gentlemen, In particular, their use of the f word becomes monotonous, becomes vain repetition. This harms the movie; otherwise I'd have given it a 7,

Hostile Intent (1997)

Excellent, suspenseful action movie

[8/10 · 1 May 2012]

I find it hard to understand why this movie has received such a low overall rating. Granted that it's a little hard to follow in places, but whenever that's so it soon becomes clear. The underlying premise of a Federal government that seeks to keep detailed watch on its citizens whenever they use the internet was still sci-fi when this movie was released in 1997, but probably is sober reality now. The acting is fair-to-good, the characters' gradual realization that they are being mercilessly hunted is suspenseful and well done, the action sequences, which make up much of the film, are superb. I obtained this in an inexpensive 4-DVD pack called Thugs and Guns Collector's Set. Look for it!

Omen IV: The Awakening (1991 TV Movie)

Implausible and a little too sanitary, but enjoyable

[5/10 · 27 April 2012]

I'm used to being in an IMDb reviewer minority, but found this to be quite a good thriller. It was adequately acted. Indeed, Asia Vieira as the evil little girl, Lee Grant as the mother and Michael Learner as the private detective were excellent. Things moved along nicely, with only a few slow spots. For a low-budget movie, the special effects were fine.I would have enjoyed more gore, but I'm a nasty old thing. Granted that, as a sequel, Omen IV is inconsistent with Omen III: once Christ returns there will be no Son of Antichrist. And the attempt to combine the Bible with New Age spirituality was even less plausible than 2012 Doomsday's attempt to combine it with the Mayan calendar cycle. Still, offhand I can't think of a good horror movie that lacks doctrinal flaws. As always, the final question is, Would I watch Omen IV again? Certainly, though I've got enough of a backlog of interesting-looking unwatched DVDs that doing so won't be for a while. And also enough of a backlog of other DVDs that seem interesting in the sense of the old Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times." Perhaps reviews of these later

The Apocalypse (2007 Video)

Texas Is Coming Again !!!

[4/10 · 18 April 2012]

I may be confused, but this movie's special effects seem to have been by the same people as those for 2012 Doomsday and 2012 Supernova. They range from excellent, as when a road comes apart during an earthquake, pretty good, as a BIG tornado approaches, to the same sorts of weaknesses as in the other two movies: ashes that fall without leaving a trace on anything, heavy rain that falls without getting anything wet, bright sunlight during driving rain (with audible but invisible hail), bright sunlight as a tornado strikes. Also, some of the seen-from-a distance disaster scenes are strangely familiar … not so much stock footage as recycled footage. The incoming asteroid being as large as Texas was also familiar. Maybe I'll use that too if I ever get sufficient funding to make "Inconsiderate Fatheads From Outer Space". The misrepresentations of what the Bible teaches aren't as startling as in 2012 Doomsday, with its link between Mayan religion and Christianity, but people being Raptured at intervals instead of all at once is … original, to put things gently! For that matter, so is auto drivers considerately bringing their cars to a halt before being Raptured, and their not leaving their clothing behind. The acting? I'm tolerant of weak acting as long as the story moves along, which mostly it did. I mention acting last of all, because one doesn't watch this kind of movie for its acting. Would I watch this movie again? Probably not. Did I get my money's worth? Yes: I bought this as part of a DISASTER! 6 MOVIE PACK from a supermarket's reduced- price barrel, each disc of which netted out to costing a little under a dollar. Well worth every penny!

2012: Supernova (2009 Video)

Lively and fairly good despite plot holes

[5/10 · 14 April 2012]

I disagree with many of the other reviewers ... though, as I've explained elsewhere, I'm a fan of bad movies ... da badda da bettuh! This, though, had fine special effects for a low-budget movie, the action sequences were exciting (though the fight scenes got terribly repetitive) and, except for the actor who portrayed the Russian, the acting was actually rather good. The stunt men/women who performed the driving sequences did excellent jobs. Like, wow! Plot holes? Close-on Tommy-gun fire is considerably more effective than portrayed. People who have tall stacks of crates toppled upon them rarely are nimble afterwards. People who have been repeatedly hit in fights end up bruised: these didn't. The underlying "science": yuk, yuk, yuk !!! And the identity of the Head Bad Person was a bit obvious. It's always enjoyable to see "2012" computer equipment in earlier films. The readout for when the full effects of the supernova were expected to strike Earth was delightfully retro. I look forward to a 2013, 2014, or 2015 movie who's starting point is that the world really was destroyed on 12/21/12, and which will then go on to explain why we didn't notice.

2012: Doomsday (2008 Video)

Low-budget and Errant

[1/10 · 13 April 2012]

I'm fond of movies that are quite poorly done. Especially the low-budget ones, such as this near-gem. The special effects of the ground cracking open were fine. However, those of snow falling on the Mexican forest while the temperature also fell and fell were unusually terrible. Not only didn't the snow cling to leaves, but it didn't even melt on them. Nor did below-freezing temperatures affect the vegetation itself. I'm too old to have any more kids, but were I to have a son I'd name him Stock Footage --- in the same spirit as Rip Torn. There was a fair amount of that, too. And the acting was at best so-so. So, ordinarily I'd give this the IMDb equivalent of a C-. However, 2012 Doomsday supposedly is a Christian movie. It tries to combine Christianity with the supposed expiration of the Mayan calendar cycle next December. It teaches that the Last Judgment can be diverted, postponed. It teaches other things that Jesus warned Christians of in Matthew 7:15-20. Since in 21st Century America most people don't read the Bible much, this movie … by the examples it portrays … could lead viewers to believe that they're saved when they aren't.

Army of Love (2008)

A touching animated fable

[8/10 · 21 January 2012]

I'm not an especially sentimental old thing, but this moved me. The warrior lady dolls were simultaneously (1)clearly jointed dolls with big, big eyes yet (2) convincing as young women ... the latter because of fine work with facial animation. I don't believe that it will be a spoiler to say that the plot involves difficulties encountered then surmounted by intense cheerful determination. As one who must struggle daily with physical limitations, I greatly appreciated this. I was a bit concerned that the film's ending might degenerate into soft-core porn, but its creators kept things in good taste. It's a minor matter, but the creators' choice of an armored cavalry vehicle was also delightful.

The Day the Sky Exploded (1958)

Unintentionally Hilarious

[3/10 · 29 December 2011]

The film's retro 1958 computer equipment is delightful. Also, there are many delightful inconsistencies in the story: as one example, despite that temperatures on Earth have dramatically increased, some of the actors continue to wear heavy clothing that they could easily have taken off. This temperature increase is one of several supposed consequences of an asteroid's near approach to Earth that are flat-out scientifically impossible. Other supposed consequences, such as animals sensing what's about to happen days in advance are equally silly. The acting is generally wooden, and the dubbing into English is occasionally obvious. Much of the special effects are stock footage; so are the movie's lengthy depictions of various kinds of communications equipment, airplane flights and rocket launches. Much of the remaining special effects are stock footage with bright blobs inserted. Again, the phenomena represented by the blobs are scientifically impossible. In general, a splendid movie for those like me who enjoy pretentious bad films.

The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2011 Video)

Stark Frightening Mostly-Animated Metaphor of the Last Days

[9/10 · 10 December 2011]

During an involuntary vacation of several days I've been watching a series of 40-50 downloaded public domain short films. This is by far the best I've seen. Its images are distressingly powerful, its musical background ominous and compelling. The movie reinforces its horrendous message with a few brief sequences showing actual human beings. Otherwise all is metal monsters and sad little wire slaves doomed to terrible deaths. I cannot understand the low rating that other viewers have given this film unless ... and this would be understandable ... it upset them deeply. No gore, no gross-outs, but unremitting doom, doom, doom. Despite being a cheerful person, I shall watch this again. Often.

Captain Scarlett (1952)

A Fine Post Napoleonic Oater

[16 November 2011]

I fear that other reviewers have failed to recognize this movie for what it is: a fine example of a 1950s Saturday afternoon double feature film. The principal actors are obviously enjoying themselves, and we should too. Yes, there's lots of filler, yes much is predicable. That's why I just relaxed and enjoyed it. Here's an analogy from another movie: Errol Flynn is in Queen Elizabeth's castle. An enormous piece of dark cloth hangs on a bare stone wall near the top of a steep stone stairway. The cloth serves no purpose that an Elizabethan interior decorator would accept. A few scenes later, Mr. Flynn is about to descend these stairs when he sees three miscreants with drawn swords waiting for him. What does Mr. Flynn do? Why he grabs hold of that cloth, swings down upon those extras, and …

Besides, as a student of history I learned several things about France after Napoleon's defeat. Day and night switched back and forth unpredictably. As one was pursued by horsemen this might happen several times during a single pursuit. Small orchestras accompanied these horsemen but never interfered with the pursuit. (This, of course, was also true in the Old West, but Restoration France's orchestras were slightly larger.) Clothing never got dirty, even though one wore it day after day. Expensive seeming scarlet (a.k.a. scarlett) cloaks were so readily available that at least six of them could be lent to local villagers who sought to imitate our hero. As is still sadly true, men (well, one man … our hero) pursued women who never would become properly submissive wives and whose conversation would cease to be interesting after a very few years. Men who had pistols usually forwent their use in order to fight each other with dueling swords. (For some reason this wise practice didn't continue in the Old West, despite that one almost never hit anyone no matter how many shots one fired at them from Old West pistols, whereas with a trusty sword …)

Internet Archive offers this film free. As a still-loyal member of ABCDEFGHI, I recommend it for late-evening viewing. ("What's this alphabet stuff?" American Boys Concerned to Defend Errol Flynn's Good Honorable Intentions, that's what!)

Mesa of Lost Women (1953)

Delightfully inept

[1 November 2011]

Thanks to IMDb's kindness, I watched this for free. Thank you, IMDb!!! I watched it after spending most of a day doing family bookkeeping on my laptop. This may have left me in an especially appropriate mood. I'm 80 years old. Truly inept, minimal-budget movies are a new experience for me, and I love them. I sit back speculating how they could have built their sets and animated their monsters at the least possible expense.

Despite what other reviewers have written, the actor who portrays the visiting scientist and who is transformed into a ... well, to avoid any spoiler, make it "a different sort of person" does a lovely job. I mean that seriously. The brunette who dances seductively does so well --- though even in my long-vanished youth she'd have terrified me, and the (admittedly repetitive)loud guitar music is generally superior to the dialog. The blonde who serves as Heroine is perhaps the nastiest person in the film, though this doesn't seem to be intentional. And actually the admittedly inexpensive monster was pretty good in its brief, brief appearances. So, in their brief appearances, were the dwarfs, midgets and poor scantily-attired young ladies.

Logic? Sensible behavior in dangerous situations? Competent acting by all but one of the cast? Of course not: that's part of the fun.

Alien 3 (1992)

Strongly disagree with others' reviews

[11 October 2011]

I'd resolved to repay my considerable debt to IMDb by confining myself to reviewing movies that didn't yet have IMDb reviews. However, after reading a dozen or so reviews of Alien 3, I write what follows in protest. Background: I watched the first three Alien films when they were released in regular theaters. I've just finished watching all four on a 1920x1080 resolution computer screen, using Bose headphones. I used the headphones partly because my wife (who also has an unaccountable dislike for the Three Stooges) can't stand horror movies, but mostly because the films' sounds coming from various directions are especially effective using them. I agree with the majority of IMDb's reviewers that Alien was a splendid, groundbreaking movie, and that Aliens was that rarity: an even better sequel. It's important to note that in many ways the style, the atmosphere of Aliens differed greatly from that of Alien.

But hereafter I part company with other IMDb reviewers. The style and atmosphere of Alien 3 differ greatly from that of the first two: it's much bleaker emotionally, and that works. At first there's only one really sympathetic character besides Ripley, and Ripley is doomed from the start; these things work, too. Several of the initially unsympathetic characters became more and more interesting to me as the movie progressed. However that may have been because I've had a fair amount of direct and indirect experience working with convicts. Sigourney Weaver was, of course, superb and convincing. The main thing is that Alien 3 is a DIFFERENT movie, but in its way also a great one. Marvelous sets. Gloomy, gloomy, gloomy. Marvelous dry, dead-pan humor in places. Marvelous scenes where you know that something awful is going to happen. Even fine music. I give it 9 out of 10.

Fighting Mad (1939)

Conifers Disharmony

[8 October 2011]

This movie's title isn't totally uninformative. For instance, please consider its second letter "g": had its action been located in the Old West, the title might instead have been Fightin' Mad. Had its last three letters been capitalized, it might instead have concerned Good Folks struggling to overcome Mothers Against … well, something beginning with D. Delirium? Documentaries? Doofishness? I mention this mainly because no one except the bad guys get mad, and their fighting is more obligatory than because they're angry. Anyway, we shall now change from reviewing previously un-reviewed Westerns to reviewing a previously un- reviewed Canayjun (to pronounce the word properly). "And how is it, Marplot, that you know the correct pronunciation?" Because I spent eight happy years living in Canada, four of them in Real Canada, well to the north of the U.S. border.

Positives: The movie's sound quality is excellent, as is its Black and White screen resolution. The choreography of the fist fights is good. Of course, just as in Westerns' innumerable bullets being fired without hitting anything, here innumerable punches do little harm. The musical background is acceptable and not too obtrusive. The plot holds together and is somewhat interesting. The Awful Danger to which the heroine is exposed as the trailer rolls … quickly checks … no, this is not a Plot Spoiler: IMDb has already disclosed it … down the hill into the lake is quite well done, though one wonders how it managed to remain on that somewhat curvy dirt road all the way down. The destruction of an automobile is well rendered. The heroine is a convincing liar.

Negatives: The plot is incessantly interrupted by the Obligatory Comedy Relief, in this case Benny Rubin, Master of Many Dialects. In this case his dialect is a puzzling mixture of Swedish, Quebecois, and Bronx. He's by far the best actor in the movie, with the horse whom he gradually learns to ride coming in second. However, Benny does get in the way. IMDb labels this movie Action; a more appropriate label would be Spasmodic Comedy.

The film begins with Renfrew leading a substantial troop of Mounties as they ride slowly through the conifers and the movie's titles. Renfrew is singing. His tenor voice is pleasant. However, his songs are standard Roy Rogers / Gene Autry dreck. He sings three or four of these, repeating one at the end as the heroine gazes at him adoringly.

Regarding conifers: I'd hoped that this would an Artic Mounties movie, and that Renfrew would have a loyal sled dog named Werfner who would, of course, go Werf, Werf! Instead, though, he has a loyal sidekick who resembles him sufficiently that once in a while I got the two confused. Both are handsome and boring.

Overall: This film was produced by Criterion Pictures Corp.. A criterion is a standard by which to judge something. Here, my criterion is, Would It Have Been Possible To Watch All 54 Minutes Of This If I Hadn't Been Taking Notes? On that I give it a 5. Final irrelevant observation: the title couldn't have been Fighting Mothers Against Dyslexia, because they abbreviate their name as DAM.

A Man's Land (1932)

A pleasant, slightly boring, way to relax

[6 October 2011]

IMDb's reviews have been extremely helpful to me lately. So, it seems only fair that I should write something about a movie that's lacked any reviews up to now. First of all and very positive, somehow this Poverty Row studio managed to rent a satisfactory number of cattle. In far too many films there are only a dozen or so. Here, I'd guess 50. Taken as a comedy, "A Man's Land" is easy-going, agreeable and stupid … but nice stupid. Hoot Gibson, Skeeter Bill Robbins and Ethel Wales do the comedy bits well. There were the usual amazing things about the Old West that I sure wouldn't have otherwise known when I was a kid: Although there were no electricity and no phone wires, there was a functioning wall telephone. Although there were no filling stations, there was one automobile (solar powered?), which suddenly appeared to frighten the girl's horse. As things developed, it must have frightened her too, since she was unable to control it though later on it was obvious that she was a highly skilled rider.

Another thing about the Old West: as usual, the scheming villain (black hat, thin black moustache, cigar) was a banker. This wasn't surprising in a 1932 movie --- bankers weren't popular back then. Still, it would be nice to see a movie in which the hero or heroes came to the rescue of the banker who was being cheated by all the local deadbeat ranchers, store owners, hotel owners, and saloon, dance-hall, gambling hall, and Even Worse proprietors.

Another thing about the Old West that I wish I'd known as a kid: how to knock somebody down by a punch to the jaw that clearly missed by a couple of inches: Hoot accomplished this with Henchman Joe.

The movie begins promisingly with Skeeter admiring a Bathing Beauty postcard of Tootsie Wootsie, a young woman with whom he's been corresponding. This went straight to my heart, since my wife and I met on the contemporary equivalent, the Internet. Tootsie Wootsie wanted $500 to come to Skeeter. This would be somewhere between $5,000 and $10,000 in today's money, so that portended all sorts of interesting plot possibilities. Sad to say, though, the only woman besides Ethel Wales who showed up was the one whom Hoot eventually married. As a nasty old man, I have nothing against his being old enough, easily old enough, to be her father. However … well, let's say that she was unlikely to become a godly, submissive wife. Ever.

I've long known that in detective movies drivers rarely look back when they're being followed or notice when they're being watched from a parked car. Similarly Hoot was unable to hear the bad guys riding off, even though they were only a few yards away. Given the young lady whom he was going to marry, let's hope that this was because he was deaf. However, it may simply have been because of my copy's continuously scratchy background noises that accompanied its constantly blurry screen resolution.

One could go on … the rustlers panicking and riding away from Hoot and Skeeter, even though they greatly outnumbered them, the bad guy unsuccessfully shooting twice at Hoot then throwing his gun away before he got into the saddle and chased him. All in all, IMDb might consider adding Comedy to its Western caption. On the positive side, nobody sang. So, I give the movie 6 out of 10.

It (1990)

Within its unavoidable limitations, superb !!!

[3 October 2011]

I've read Stephen King's novel at least twice, and didn't see how it could be made into less than a ten-hour movie series and with special effects that might not have been possible when the movie was made, and would have been far too costly for a made-for-TV film. Surprise! The director, Tommy Lee Wallace, did a splendid job of selection and compression. Sure, there were a few things that I missed ... but overall I was delighted. The mood, the feel, of the book was wonderfully conveyed. The child actors were amazingly good, as, of course, was Tim Curry as Pennywise. I wasn't familiar with any of the main adult authors, and at first was a bit disappointed by them. But as the movie developed, they developed too and ended up very, very adequate. Yes, I would have preferred to have Pennywise's heart torn out near the end instead of the spider critter's, but one can't have ALL one's druthers. In summary, thank you, thank you, thank you all. And yes, I'll watch this again.

Land of the Dead (2005)

A great, gory parable

[24 September 2011]

This is the first review I've written for IMDb. I must try hard not to fall into the AAAARGH!!! jaws of Report This. I'm 80 years old, have been attentively following national affairs since about 1938 (I was a fat kid from an abusive home, so hid and read a lot). So, the thing I admire the most about Land of the Dead is its being a splendid parable of life in 21st Century America (my Rastafarian daughter would say life in Babylon). It certainly captures its political and moral properties. Judging from a comment that Mr. Romero makes in one of the Bonus Features, this was intentional. Yay, Romero!

The movie's photography and special effects are super-fine. The actors are all quite competent, though … and this also is splendid … the only really charismatic performance comes from Eugene A. Clark, as Big Daddy the zombie leader. I was rooting for him all the way. Close to charismatic was Asia Argento, whom I first dismissed as an Obligatory Sex Interest with gymnastic abilities, but respected more and more as the film progressed. Overall, I almost never watch movies twice, but I'll sure watch this one again.