AskewNerd Reviews

Private Resort (1985)

Surprisingly very funny

[9/10 · 19 November 2005]

The 80's saw multiple films just like this one in the 80's. The first one that comes to mind is One Crazy Summer with John Cusack. But, who would have ever dreamed that a man from one of these kind of films would be nominated for an Oscar. About as surprising as one of the original Ghostbustes conquering that same foot. Johnny Depp is amazingly fun in this film. His charisma and stupidity makes this film shine. Rob Morrow is good as well but, he is just simply the lead dopey character. Depp is excellent as the crazy sidekick (one of my personal favorite types of performances in any film).

For it's time, this was the perfect example of what so many other films were trying for. To sum it up, the film is on the same level as Porky's. And I mean that as a compliment.

Dogma (1999)

A Perfect Blend

[10/10 · 23 April 2005]

Screw "The Ten Commandments" and "Passion Of The Christ". This film proves that a subtle dick joke can but your mind at ease when there are serious questions being act. I don't think I've ever seen a film that shows the filmmaker's personality so well. Kevin Smith is not advanced in spectacular film-making. Yet, he managed to deploy action into a movie that is based around serious duologue. Dialogue is obviously his snootch. It's obvious why Catholic activists morons would detest the idea of the creator of the coined term "snootchie bootchies", to make a film anyway relating to God. But, Kevin finished with a project that truly defined today's generation and our spiritual confusion. When Chris Rock explains that Jesus had brothers and sisters. He speaks in a blunt but sophisticated tone that makes you believe it was without a doubt, completely true. Kevin Smith dares to ask the questions that everyone thinks. Catholicism was a major part of his life as a child. So why would he not dare to ask questions about the religion? That's all she wrote. Kevin Smith is a real person. And this is a REAL film.

Mars Needs Women (1968 TV Movie)

must watch with popcorn

[7/10 · 5 April 2005]

This is one of those movies that will make you laugh for no apparent reason. You have to love the movies that were never made to be taken serious. Pure entertainment. But, this film has a sense of sophistication and the appearances that actual research was done. Great entertainment, just don't dig too deep. Pop some popcorn, sit back and laugh. The only thing missing is 3-D glasses. Honestly, the acting is not to terrible for a 60's drive in movie. With this title, it is guaranteed to be one of those films that kids of today will watch merely because they think it's different. The film is a perfect model for the "hipsters" of our generation. Whatever works though. So, when you finish your Pedro The Lion CD and feel depressed, pop in this tape. It will make you happy (and hip).

A Kid in King Arthur's Court (1995)

Dissect and find more than the obvious

[8/10 · 2 April 2005]

It sounds stupid to try and dissect a film like this that was made for pure amusement of children and families alike. But, it's not at all unreasonable. Sure it's quirky, stupid, and laughable. But, the manufactured King Arthur's Court supplies the setting for a young man's triumph over his battle with his own self esteem and lack of dignity. In an our era where we would call Calvin (Nichols) a geek, dweeb, etc. But, when he is transformed into another world where he is feared, respected, and set on a high honor for his vi rage of instruments, (Rollerblades, Mad Dog Bubblegum, Rock N Roll) and his curious language (cool is hot?). But, in the end he comes to grips with reality, and with himself. He comes to realize that he is more than what people may think of him. He gains courage and self respect. Now, even if that is done in a pop culture/bubble gum sort of way, it should be respected.

Plus Kate Winslet looks just as hot now as she did ten years ago.

The River Niger (1976)

james earl jones in the same role he always does

[9 December 2004]

This film was a definite "okay". It didn't have the impact that many films would have with such a topic. But, the general idea was there and that's what was so important. The vast difference between James Earl Jones being a drunk bum, to a philosophical poet speaking of something as beautiful as the Niger River. He was brilliant of course. Not as well as "Finder's Fee", but that really can't be beat. Big nods to the other actors and writers trying their hardest to make a serious film during the famous black exploitation era. You have to appreciate that aspect of the film. Krishan Shan does deserve credit but, not fantastic.........................................the end

Gridlock'd (1997)

Pac's best performance

[9 December 2004]

Pac's not a gangsta! But, he sure is brilliant Pac, Roth, and Pena. Wow. One of the best buddy films of all time. The ingenious of this film is that it is such a simple idea twisted around and made brilliant. The story is genius. Vondie Curtis Hall does his best to dramatize every small event and does a great job. If Tupac would have lived, I would have loved to see him with Vondie Curtis Hall more often. I really can't say enough about how wonderful this film is. It's a new look at the street life and the impact that drugs have on many neighborhoods and kids in this country. The main reason this film was so great was the excellent performances. In most of my reviews I boast on how well the actors are. This is only because it takes a great actor to portray the written word onto the screen. Tupac was brilliant with endless amounts of talent that was wasted. This is the one film that we can look back on and argue the fact that he was multi talented beyond his career in hip hop. Other films were there and where great. But, the difference is obvious. RIP soulja

The Fan (1996)

surprise! it doesn't suck

[6 December 2004]

I had every expectation of this film being terrible and mearly a paycheck for De Niro. But, it was great. Snipes and Del Toro are fantastic. De Niro is scary as hell as well. There was not one explosion in the entire film. That was great. Short, to the point fight scenes. That's all you need in a suspense thriller. It was much smarter than expected. The plot never made you feel sorry for De Niro. The idea of him being a sad stoned cold man was there. But, not dwelled upon. The focus was on his obsession with the game of baseball and that became more important. Snipes had his entire sideline story that eventually involved De Niro. But, the two stories themselves were great. Benicio Del Toro is sneaky as hell and you never understand his true personality until he is offed. It makes you look at him completely different when he was not around.

Romeo + Juliet (1996)

not as creative is it would like to be

[6 December 2004]

When it is announced, the idea of this adaptation sounds smart. But, it was an idea that would have been left better as the punch line to the phrase "Wouldn't it be great if...". But, you can't knock the idea of changing up a classic story. The idea of a modernized Romeo and Juliet wouldn't have been anything exciting, so they had to come up with something. From that aspect, I can respect the creators. But, unfortunately it wasn't what it was suppose to be. The one good point of the film was the appeal to young teenagers who got a little taste of classic literature in a pop culture background. That was well needed. Plus a great small performance by the unknown Jamie Kennedy and a wonderful performance for The Pest himself, John Leguizamo. Another average for Leo who never has a bad role, just some are mediocre

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

that's what we needed!

[4 October 2004]

It's arrived! A truly original and provocative film (and it includes special effects!). The combined talents of great actors and people disapearing in front of your eyes. Forget about Michael Bay. This film has that scenerio of special effects without becoming dumber. But, on a serious note. Carrey delivered and Oscar worthy performance. It's great to finally see a film that has creativeness (see I make up words, that's creative) to it's context. There are few movies coming out in the last 5 years that have made you truly believe, "Damn that was a cool movie!". What's even more amazing is that there were no exploding cars or robots taking over the world.

Destiny Turns on the Radio (1995)

don't think too much into this film

[20 September 2004]

Destiny is one of those films that is neither great nor terrible. Taranitno is one of the greatest filmmakers of all time. But his acting abilities are very limited. The story is sort of creative, but at the same time trying to be a indie film too hard. James Belushi puts on a good performance that seems almost related to his character in "About Last Night" but with a more violent twist. And you can't forget Allen Garfield, terrific guy. But, this film will merely exists. Don't over emphasize the meaning of this film based merely on the existence of Quentin Tarantino. Only Quentin knows why he did this terrible movie, don't try and rationalize Quentin. This film is an example of Quentin's personality. He does whatever the hell he wants to.

Mallrats (1995)

one big classic fart joke

[18 September 2004]

the main reason for why this film was so unsuccesfull is beyond human reasoning. One can say it was the crude humor, but that would completely inaccurate because we as Americans are obviously fans of that humor (american pie trilogy?). My conclusion comes to this, the critics wanted it to be wholesome like Porky's but still have the crude factorof Clerks. Maybe Gene Siskel didn't see the love I saw in the film (but his opinion doesn't mean anything now). Kevin should not be ashamed of this film like many of the greatest filmmakers have at least one film that just makes them spew. As far as I'm concerned, You still don't have a miss. And never try to compete with Clerks. It's never gonna happen. Is any other mafia film ever as cool as The Godfather. You decide.