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The Wire (2002)
The Wire is NOT the greatest TV show ever.
The Wire is not the greatest TV show of all time, it is got even a good TV show. That is because it cannot be classified as a TV show. This is reflected in the ratings of the show: consistently low and ever decreasing.
Speak to any fan of The Wire and you will find that very few of them watched it on TV, most watched it on DVD and of those fans the vast majority will have the entire collection on DVD.
I class myself as a MAJOR fan of the wire and it pains me slightly to say that it is not a good TV show, that is because it is not a TV show at all. Can any of the fans out there possibly imagine watching this one episode at a time, only one episode a week? That would be horrible.
The Wire succeeds as it is both essential and compulsive viewing. Not only is it Dramatic perfection, It also has some very, very funny moments, exciting scenes and at times it is terrifyingly scary. Not only does it succeed on a storytelling level, it is also a work of master craftsmanship, it looks great or looks awful to reflect the necessary mood of the scene.
Of a ll the episodes, there is not one weak episode, of all the seasons, there is not one weak season (even the Simpsons cannot manage that). The weak moments are few and far between.
I would not call this a TV show, I would not call this a movie (as some have), I do not know what I would call it, well, I would... Brilliantly perfect.
Watch it at your peril. Nothing will ever or has been as good as The Wire. And no excuses, this is for EVERYBODY.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Why?
Why is everyone dissing this movie? I have to say that I was completely blown away by this feature. It was a huge gamble spending $250,000,000 on this film and it paid off.
If this is the last instalment in the spider-man series (it won't be) then the whole cast and crew have gone out on a real high.
The characters are developing very well. The run-through plots are going strong (the Uncle Ben murder for instance) which I feel is a real credit to the writers.
In an age where viewers are continually seeking to be thrilled by CGI, this film more than delivers where so many more fail (one word: Sandman).
This film is about so much more than superheroes and supervillans, you actually care about the characters and what is happening to them. You feel for Peter, Harry and MJ.
This film will be regarded as a classic of our time.
For all you nay-sayers about there, stack this up against Pirates of the Caribbean and see what comes out on top.
Spider-Man 3 (2007) Why, 6 May 2007
(This review was deleted by IMDb based on an abuse report filed by another user) Why is everyone dissing this movie? I have to say that I was completely blown away by this feature. It was a huge gamble spending $250,000,000 on this film and it paid off.
If this is the last instalment in the spider-man series (it won't be) then the whole cast and crew have gone out on a real high.
The characters are developing very well. The run-through plots are going strong (the Uncle Ben murder for instance) which I feel is a real credit to the writers.
In an age where viewers are continually seeking to be thrilled by CGI, this film more than delivers where so many more fail (one word: Sandman).
This film is about so much more than superheroes and supervillans, you actually care about the characters and what is happening to them. You feel for Peter, Harry and MJ.
This film will be regarded as a classic of our time.
For all you nay-sayers about there, stack this up against Pirates of the Caribbean and see what comes out on top.
Kick-Ass (2010)
Kick-Ass in one word: Brilliant
I went into the cinema with a very pessimistic attitude towards this film. Having been a fan of the comic for a good hour (I read the comic just before I went to watch it), I had a lot of doubts about the cast choices and the plot variations that the film makers would have had to make. nguage or you lack a sense of humour Boy was I wrong. Kick-Ass is one hundred per-cent cinematic gold, and I class myself as having very good taste in film. You will only be disappointed by this film if you do not like violence, bad language or you lack a sense of humour. I will not give away too much of the film but all of the actors are great, and I mean all of them. The script is fresh, funny and engaging. The action is impeccable. The music choices for the film were inspired and worked incredibly well. I honestly cannot find any flaws with this film at all.
Go and see it, it will blow you away.
Clash of the Titans (2010)
Utterly pointless and a shameful cash in.
AFter the massive success of Avatar, this 3D film starring Sam Worthington had big expectations the Kraken was the bit I was most looking forward to, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? I am so angry right now. The film was shot in 2d and then converted into 3d, the result? loss of focus in the background. the cgi used for Medusa was absolutely awful, the Scorpiok battle was a cop out and the harpies were utterly pointless. actually, the whole film was pointless, the whole film was a cop out and the whole film was absolutely awful. That's it, I have officially had it with big budget 3d remakes. do not waste your money on this. if you must see it, see it in 2d. but only if you absolutely must.
A Million Little Pieces (2008)
Utterley pointless
In 1993, the taboo shattering and groundbreaking English artist Derek Jarman created a film called "Blue". As the artist/writer/director almost completely lost his sight due to complications from AIDS, he felt it would be appropriate to make a film and let the world "see" things as he saw them, completely blue but with an ultra clear grasp of sound, the film is a masterwork.
Sadly, with only a turquoise screen and no sound, "A million little pieces" serves no purpose as either a work of art or a film. It has no sound at all and therefore is not a film. it is the same as staring at a wall for 70 minutes.
I am someone who appreciates art in all its forms but this is pointless. completely pointless.
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Oh my god they killed history! You Basterds!
So, the wait for "Basterds" is finally over. Was it worth it?
Let's look at the negatives first.
Criticism 1: It was quite "talkie" for a war film.
Yes, this is true. but this is no ordinary war film. whilst it is (very) violent in places, as one would expect from a modern war film, the film is an exercise in characterisation and with this in mind, it is very successful. Landa, Dreyfus and Raine are brilliant lead characters whilst the supporting characters, namely Sgt. Donny Donowitz, Lt. Archie Hicox and Bridget Von Hammersmark, are wonderful characters. So while this is a very dialogue heavy film, the dialogue between the characters both forms the story and strengthens the characters.
Criticism 2: It was too bloody and violent.
OK, let us look at films like Hostel. The violence is so strong and so frequent that we as an audience are numb to it and it becomes boring by the end.
"Basterds" is a war film after all so we can give it some leeway for being violent in places but it was realistic and it served a purpose.
Criticism 3: There was no story.
Like all of Tarantino's films (Jackie Brown aside) there is little story but whatever the story is, it is well executed and all plot holes are tied up by the end. When you go to see a Tarantino film, you should know what to expect by now.
Criticism 4: The music didn't fit.
I agree with this one on only one point. The David Bowie song, although it was used effectively and it suited the scene. The rest of the music was perfect for the film.
Criticism 5: It wasn't even remotely historically accurate.
Yes it was, the soldiers uniforms, set design, weapons, cinema (right down to the type of projector and films) were all accurate. it was only the story that was fiction.
So, was it worth the wait. You had better believe it
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Visually mind-blowing and occasionally funny but not much else.
Transformers: Revenge of the fallen is 150 minutes of average acting, next to no plot and lots of explosions.
At the time of writing, I left the cinema roughly two hours ago and I cannot tell you what this film is about but I do feel mentally drained due to the long running time and frequent fantasy violence/explosions/Megan Fox.
This is by no means a bad film, it is well executed and good for what it is: pure popcorn entertainment. The action scenes take up at least 3/4 of the film and are very well done but there is very little story and absolutely nothing to think about. If you liked the first transformers film you will not be disappointed. This is basically more of the same but with less story, more robots and much more comedy.
The running time is perhaps a little much but it is not overly long. I would recommend this to people who like this type of film but if you are looking to connect with characters or want something to think about, this is not for you.
Rocky V (1990)
Thank god for Rocky Balboa
Being a kid in the 90s, the Rocky films have a special place in my heart. I remember in 1996, Rocky 1-4 were shown on consecutive days on TV. I was not aware that Rocky 5 existed until I bought the box set in 2002.
I watched Rocky (9/10), Rocky 2 (9/10), Rocky 3 (8/10) and Rocky 4 (9/10) back to back and with great anticipation I placed the Rocky 5 disc into the DVD player.
When the movie finished, I thought to myself: "what the hell was that?" I expected it to follow the formula of the previous rocky films (the montage, big fight at the end etc) and thought that that was the problem. I watched it the next day and had that same feeling again.
Rocky 5 has the "dodgy sequel effect" on the previous films in that their quality is diminished by the fact that Rocky, our hero whom we look up to and admire for his iron chin and unbreakable spirit has been reduced to a broken down man who trains some punk kid and ignores his own kids in turn.
This is not the Rocky we know and love, this is a derivative piece of junk that is detested by fans (both hardcore and casual). It is a waste of a film. The only reason that this has a 2/10 and not a 1/10 is that the fight at the end is pretty well choreographed.
However. You lucky people who have not seen any Rocky films and are considering purchasing the Rocky box set have the option of not watching this and instead watching the vastly superior Rocky Balboa instead.
Note to Stallone, Still waiting for the following films from you: Rocky 7, another Rambo and Copland 2. Oh, and give my regards to your mom.
Azur et Asmar (2006)
A great example of how not to make an animated feature
look, the movie is terrible. the voicing is awful, the animation is gaudy and unrealistic, the script was sub par and the characters were not even one-dimensional. this is worse than Kis Vuk. what a waste of money.
This may seem like a comment from someone who has been blinded by the brilliant animation and tongue in cheek humour of Hollywood animation of recent years but this is not true.
I do have time for independent movies (both animated and live action), I have seen a computer animated film made with a budget of $3000 (a lot less than this film) and it was fantastic. wonderful animation, solid story and fantastic action. this film looks like it was animated by a 2nd year d grade art student.
Teeth (2007)
Teeth: so many promises, so few kept.
OK, Teeth is about as subtle as a kick in the teeth but it is actually quite a funny movie.
The advertisements for this movie promised that it would be the definitive horror film of the 00's as The Exorcist was for the 70's , The Shining for the 80's and The Blair Witch Project was for the 90's (I personally think that Scream deserved this more than the BWP). I looked forward to this film and rushed to the cinema to see it.
Whilst I was not completely disappointed with the film, I do feel that it lacked the horror that it promised in the trailers. The premise was disturbing as was the first 5 minutes, but after that it was like a cross between an after-school special (the whole purity thing), the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (in that you don't actually see that much blood or gore) and American Pie (what you did see was laugh out loud funny).
This is a good Friday night film to watch with your friends but in terms of lasting value, this will go out of date quicker than day-old doughnuts.
Little Britain USA (2008)
What a letdown
OK, where do I start? I fell in love with Little Britain at the start of series 1. Series 2 and 3 both had flaws but were great also. I went to see them live and was blown away. It was the funniest thing I had seen in a long time.
When my Fiancée and I heard about Little Britain USA, we couldn't wait, we watched it, I think I laughed (halfheartedly) about once.
I think that the characters were "Lost in Translation", by which I mean that whilst trying to appeal to both Americans and British people, the characters and jokes had lost all of their comedic value.
Whilst I respect Walliams and Lucas for what they have done for British Comedy. It doesn't quite work in the USA.
P.S. The canned laughter doesn't work at all. The live Studio audience gave the British series an authentic and natural quality
Emret Komutanim: Sah Mat (2007)
Turkey produces a real turkey
This is wrong on so many levels.
Why would anyone torture themselves with this? I have seen better films come from kids with camera-phones (no joke).
At a time when Turkey should be investing in their movie industry so that the country can produce the fine works of art that it has done in the past, $500,000 was spent on this steaming pile of camel crap.
Call me old fashioned but I like a movie that is believable, with good characters and a plot line that I can follow, this has absolutely none of these.
I would love to tell you what this film was about but I just have no idea.
You have been warned.
The Dark Knight (2008)
Contemporary cinema gets its Citizen Kane
Well, what can be said about this film? Is it flawless? No. Is it perfect? No. Is it quite possibly one of the best films ever made? Definitely.
With cinematography that matches Citizen Kane, performances that can compete with The Godfather, Heat and Goodfellas, scale that rivals Lord of the Rings and a storyline to overshadow Fight Club or The Matrix, The Dark Knight is surely a classic that will be enjoyed and studied for years to come.
The acting is powerful, assured and worthy of all the awards in the business. The supporting cast, namely Michael Caine, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gylenhall and Gary Oldman are phenomenal and play their respective characters with the poise and dignity that comes from true professionalism. The two leads, Bale and Ledger play off of each other perfectly and create two powerful characters that are so exuberant and vivid that they will remain as icons of cinema.
The set design team deserve just as much credit as the director, screenwriter or cast. Gotham city actually feels like a real city and not a film set. This grounded the film in the realism the Christopher & Jonathan Nolan along with David S. Goyer strived for in their Batman films.
Hopefully more film buffs will wake up and smell the coffee and realise that Hollywood can produce great works of art and hopefully, the Hollywood big dogs will realise the same.
Short/Film (2004)
wonderfully original
This really is a fantastic piece of work. As far as short films go, it manages to portray how the Socratic majority feel about short films. It is funny, stylish and not too full of itself (as most new shorts are). It's kind of hard to write a lot about a film that is only 5 minutes long but I will try. I saw this film on a DVD that was in a film studies course book and it was a welcome break from some of the other pretentious, stuffy and overly artistic shorts that I had to endure. The film keeps the viewer laughing from start to finish and unashamedly gives the finger to short film-makers who try to make a point and be "original" or "edgy". if there were more short films like this that almost everyone could enjoy then the short film market would explode and the industry could thrive. Watch it if it is the only short film that you ever see.
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Not worth the wait
I am a huge Simpsons fan and have been waiting for more than 15 years to see this.
You would think that Groening and his team would have taken the feelings of hardcore fans into account and made it to keep the die hard fans and new fans happy.
My kids liked it. I did not.
Without giving too much away, it is like the Family Guy and Futurama films in that it is just like a few episodes stuck together with a continuous story.
There were a few laughs but you could get the same amount of laughs and the quality of humour from watching some of the more average Simpsons episodes. If you are a hardcore fan, you will be let down. if not then you may just like this film. Only just.
Miami Vice (2006)
a special occasion for me
Wow, I have never given a movie a score of 1 before as I was saving it for something special, well folks, this is it. While this film was visually stylish, this was overshadowed vastly by the swiss cheese plot, ham acting, unrealistic pyrotechnics and very poor direction which was overly evident in this mindless piece of drivel which, by the way, is a diabolical "tribute" to the legendary TV programme. I went to see this at my local multiplex with my fiancée, I was very excited by the prospect of seeing one of my favourite childhood television programmes made into a 134 minute long blockbuster, in our opinion, 45 minutes could have easily been shaved off of this film, this would have greatly reduced my displeasure and disgust. A tip for anyone who wants to see this film, sit on a piece of barbed wire while watching it as this film is an ideal cure for all you insomniacs out there. Lets hope they don't make a sequel.
Taping Nigel (2005)
Funniest DVD Extra Ever
OK, it's a DVD extra, but this made me laugh so much, an ideal accompaniment to Extras. This is a perfect example of what working with Ricky Gervais is like. I myself think that Gervais is a comedy genius and would love to work with him at some point, although after seeing this i have my doubts. The seldom realised comic talent of the fantastic Steven Merchant shines through in this. Ricky and Steve, if you are reading this, give me a call sometime, you will find my agent in much the same way as you found Leonardo Dicapro's agent. Whilst watching this, spare a thought for poor little Nigel and his robot/pig/artists subject/play-toy for Ricky job, Series one of Extras was an absolute blinder and the comedy was more fluid and consistent than The Office but nothing can compare to episode four of series one. if any Americans are reading this then take note: this is how comedy should be, NOT Two And A Half Men, Just Shoot Me or horror of horrors Dharma and Greg (shudder).