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Smeagol-Gollum
*2463 (Third age): Sm�agol murders brother, D�agol, takes One Ring from him.
*2470: Sm�agol-Gollum hides in Misty Mountains
*2941: Sm�agol-Gollum meets Bilbo, Bilbo takes the Ring
*3009: Gandalf and Aragorn renew their hunt for Gollum
*3017: Gollum released from Mordor. Taken by Aragorn in The Dead Marshes, taken to Thranduil in Mirkwood.
*3018, June 20th (The Great Years - Part of Third Age): Gollum escapes
*3018, August: All trace of Gollum is lost to both Elves and Sauron's servants. Sought refuge in the Mines of Moria, discovered the West-gate but could not get out
*3019, January 13: Gollum begins to trail the Ring-bearer (Frodo)
*3019, February 16: Gollum is hiding on the west bank, observes departure of the Fellowship from L�rien
*3019, February 29: Gollum meets Frodo
*3019, March 1: Frodo begins passage of dead marshes at dawn, lead by Gollum
*3019, March 2: Reach end of dead marshes with Frodo
*3019, March 4: Reach slag-mounds on edge of Desolation of Morannon with Frodo
*3019, March 5: Hide in Morannon with Frodo
*3019, March 7: Taken by Faramir to Henneth Ann�n, with Frodo
*3019, March 8: Leave Henneth Ann�n with Frodo
*3019, March 9: Reach Morgul-road at dusk, with Frodo
*3019, March 10: Pass Cross-roads, see Morgul-host set off, with Frodo
*3019, March 11: Gollum visits Shelob, sees Frodo sleeping and nearly repents
*3019, March 12: Gollum leads Frodo to Shelob's lair
*3019, March 25: Gollum finally gets the Precious back, but then falls into Mount Doom volcano seconds after.
With apologies to JRR Tolkein. Don't sue me. I make no profit.
Reviews
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Mr. Tarantino, you have lost me.
I want to like this movie, just because I like Quentin Tarantino's other movies. I loved Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction. Kill Bill was really quite good. But Inglourious Basterds, this I could not enjoy.
The 'basterds' were a most vile, despicable band of senselessly violent excuses for people, hardly better than the Nazis they hunted. They were not characters who could be hated whilst still caring what happened to them or understanding their actions, they were just plain hateful. Shosanna was able to be sympathised with, as were Landa and Zoller. In a way. They were still unpleasant individuals, but they added some tinges of humanity to the story, I guess. At least they seemed to have some actual reason for their actions other than mindless killing.
The violence - I have previously thought the violence in Quentin Tarantino movies was well done, whether it was Mr. Orange bleeding to death at a realistic rate or Yakuza exploding with blood. This revised my opinion. It was just senseless, pointless, thoroughly inglorious and unpleasantly executed. It also added to my complete hatred for all the characters. Watching them die horribly was little compensation.
There were some moments of humour, and of course the interesting addition of captions at seemingly random times, the fonts used now familiar from other Tarantino movies. But there was no honour, no integrity and no humanity. And really, the ending was just ridiculous, though perhaps fitting.
I will give points for the soundtrack - Mr. Tarantino has not lost his touch there; it was excellent.
I really wanted to like this, I just couldn't. I am disappointed, and very sad. I guess I'll have to live in the past and enjoy early Tarantino.
A Room with a View (1985)
Boring and a waste of time
This movie is one of the most boring movies I've ever seen. I didn't think it was charming or sweet or worthy of any recognition at all.
The basic plot was just a sort of generic romance plot, with Charlotte being engaged to Cecil and then ditching him for George. As if you didn't see that coming. Predictable to the extreme.
Being forced to watch it in English class didn't help. Being surrounded by 30 other people who all thought it was adorable only accelerated my forming of the opinion that this movie is over-rated, not just plain boring. Every time George kissed Charlotte the 30-girl chorus of "awww" just made me want to be sick into my own scorn. Generic romance such as this does not deserve analysis and class time. It doesn't even deserve to be made, and it certainly doesn't deserve any awards nominations!
To anyone who hasn't seen it, don't. You will just waste about two hours of your life that could be spent doing something better. Anything.
If I never watch this again it will be too soon.
Babel (2006)
Over long and over rated
I went to see this movie expected a stunning and beautifully crafted cinematic experience that flawlessly melded 4 tales together. Instead I ended up sitting through what seemed hours of endless tedium. This movie, to be blunt, was boring and badly edited. After about 10 minutes I thought perhaps it would improve, as the beginning was hardly the most engaging thing I've ever sat through. But then it didn't, and just dragged on and on, labouring over pointless detail that just added to the overwhelming sense of self-indulgence this film emanated. The elements of the 4 storied I thought least relevant to the over-all plot were given such care I thought they must go and to contribute something to the final film, instead all they did was add to the boredom as this film dragged on to the point I wished I wasn't there with family and could just get up to leave in disgust. Not only did it labour insignificant points, it failed to resolve other plot elements, such as what the note said or what happened to Sandiego after he sped off into the night. Somehow I feel this movie only got the excellent reviews it did because it starred an Australian actress, and the local critics thought the should support 'homegrown talent' overseas. But that does not explain how it was so well received and did so well elsewhere. I am mystified as to how this horrifically edited, excessively long and thoroughly boring film managed to score any award nominations, and hope that sometime those responsible will see sense and not reward it with a completely undeserved prize. I expected far better from what I heard. An over long and over rated disappointment.