Achtung, fertig, Charlie! (2003) User Reviews

A somehow failed comedy about the swiss military training

[a-362 · 4/10 · 31 January 2007]

The fact that this movie has been entitled to the most successful movie in Switzerland's film history makes me shake my head! It's true, but pitiful at the same time. A flick about the Swiss army could be a good deal better.

The story sounds interesting, at the beginning: Antonio Carrera (Michael Koch) gets forced to absolve his military training by the army while he is in the church, wedding his love Laura Moretti (Mia Aegerter).

The Acting in some way doesn't really differ from just a few recruits getting drunk and stoned in the reality. Melanie Winiger plays her role as the strong Michelle Bluntschi mediocre, personally i found her rather annoying.

The storyline contains a comedy combined with a romance, which does not work as expected. The romance-part is too trashy, and the comedy-part is not funny at all, it's just a cheap try and does not change throughout the whole movie whatsoever. It's funny for preadolescent 12-13 year olds, but not for such as those who search an entertaining comedy. The humor is weak except for some shots.

Dope? Cool! Stealing? Cool! If you want a proper comedy about the Swiss RS, make sure you did not absolve your military training yet, and even then don't expect too much!

I'll give it 4 out of 10 stars, because Marco Rima is quite funny during his screen time. Not a hell of a lot screen time though

how come..

[emanuel-buechler · 5/10 · 27 November 2007]

.. Switzerland has never had such a big movie-budget as at the moment, and still can't make any really good movies? ah yes right, they just don't know how (yet)! for every conscript from Switzerland who has done his military service or every girl who has had a boyfriend who did it (or done it herself), this movie is OK! (hence the 5 point vote).. some bits are funny, because they really took every cliché and overdrew them (the pacifist from the french speaking part of Switzerland for example). the different dialects of Switzerland also have a big part in this set up, and this of course works great in swiss-German.

but as a movie for anybody else? .. no way! i would be astonished if anybody from outside Switzerland (non-swiss) could really have a good laugh..

so much for the story.

acting: oh well.. i've seen worse, but no Oscar-worthy performances. imagery/technical: they are getting there. it's OK, but some better filters would made it visually more appealing.

You're in the army now

[Horst_In_Translation · 4/10 · 14 July 2015]

"Achtung, fertig, Charlie!" is a Swiss comedy movie from 12 years ago and possibly the most famous from Switzerland in terms of the genre when it comes to 21st century movies. However, I did not think it was really that funny. For both lead actors, it was the first performance in a film and I am not really sure about their performances. Honestly, it may be one of these cases of looks over talent why they got cast, especially for the male protagonist. He also does not really have a career in acting now over a decade later, but he focuses on directing. Melanie Winiger, the female lead, still does some acting here and there and managed to build a successful career from this film. The only one I was familiar with here is Marco Rima. He was actually a fairly known comedian for a while, even here in Germany. Director Mike Eschmann went on to direct another military comedy a couple years later, but he is not really working today anymore in the business. Same can be said about the two writers. And honestly, I am not particularly surprised. This 90-minute film here is not really memorable at all in my opinion. The comedy is rarely funny and there are a handful pretty cringeworthy scenes/references. Not recommended. A bit sad that this is the best Switzerland has to offer in terms of comedy.

this flick is a travesty!

[[e-mail] · 1/10 · 19 March 2004]

This film is so bad, you can't imagine. The acting is terrible, even worse than in third class soap operas. An it is a shame that this movie was the most successful in the past 20 years in Switzerland. The interactions between the soldiers didn't make any sense at all. The story could have been taken out from a bravo photo-story, the dialogues were as wooden as Treebeard and the plot holes were bigger than the black hole in the middle of our galaxy. But nowadays it doesn't need much to satisfy the audience. The actors were handsome for example the former Miss Switzerland and the main character was even hung (woah!!) and there certainly was much abuse of drugs. That's real cool man! Particularly for 12 and 13 year old teens. But the media created an atmosphere in witch you was not allowed to reject the film because they manipulated the peer group dynamics by telling implicitly that you are a nerd if you don't go along with the other `sheep' and say.yes that is exactly what it was like when I was in the army/ that's exactly what I'm going to do when I must go to the army.. to every cheesy action that had to do with drugs and coolness. And don't think I like the army. I was there and I hated it but this film is worse than cleaning up the sticky toilet with a teeth brush (which I was forced to do because I offended an lieutenant) It is not necessary for every film to be sophisticated. Sometimes you only want to be entertained for a few hours and forget about problems and I think its not a bad thing. But this kind of films influence teenagers to much by showing them a cool lifestyle which in fact is only stupid and turns them into brainless ignorant and egocentric idiots. But since I now that my opinion isn't very popular I will be quiet now and recommend you to avoid this terrible flick at any costs and for that to save your wits!

2/10

(sorry for my bad English)

Uah!

[bifidus · 1/10 · 13 October 2003]

This film makes "American Pie" a sophisticated movie! No further comment needed. Humor is cheap, dialogues are stupid and the cast is awkward. Every cliché is used several times without any original twist. And far the worst, the movie turns out to be more catholic than the Pope. It's so sad.

Achtung, fertig, Crap!

[westcoast_chris · 1/10 · 27 March 2006]

Well, AWFUL is just the first name. This movie is a cliché-ridden piece of junk. A high school comedy setup in a military training camp. I'm sorry I had to give this 1 star which it did not deserve.

THIS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS:

Just about everything is totally forced, unconvincing and unrealistic. The HEPO (military police) will not come to get you if you don't make your appearance, especially not on your wedding day. The actors were pretty embarrassed during this scene, because the scene didn't work as it was so highly unlikely. You can sense it in their voices. Even if they were not such bad actors, they wouldn't have been able to save the scene.

Next the guy has to exercise in his wedding suit. No, there was no time to get him an uniform first. Man, this is great cinematography! I will remember this scene for the rest of my life.

There are also GIRLS in the camp--exciting--one of'em even a model, though not looking that great--and the baddest actress I've ever seen. I doubt in Hollywood they would let her say a single line in a B movie.

Okay girls in the military! Now this is getting fun. The girls are even placed on the same floor, so we can sneak to their room at night! In reality they would be placed in a different building a quarter mile away, separated by two fences with barbed wire.

There are tanks available we can use for a fun ride in our spare time, of which we have plenty. No, the tanks are not locked, and the ignition keys are inserted. No one will notice the engine sounds, especially not at night.

There is a bunch of sex scenes and references and all are below the waste line. We need those so the sexually obsessed Germans will like the movie as well. Switzerland is too small a market for any feature film. Well done!

One sex scene takes place in the kitchen. Surely, none of those facilities are ever locked. The military routines are as sloppy as they can get.

In the end of the brainless flick, the mafia hit men are about the take revenge on the poor guy trying to shoot him! Because he deserted his fiancée! Sure I buy that, the Italians are that way--a jealous bunch (not).

The bad guys attempt to do this in open daylight with two dozen eyewitnesses. Not at night in a dark alley. Again, military training grounds (where there is shooting with live ammo) are open to the public, anyone can freely drive or walk in there. There are no such things as guards or fences.

The deed however is prevented by the good captain timely launching a rocket into the Italians' car. The explosion knocks the hit men and the enraged fiancée off their feet. No one in 40 feet distance is hurt when the car is blown to smithereens. It's a COMEDY, remember.

Okay. It's a comedy, I got that, and I can live with that. No realism needed. Filmmakers can easily get way with this if it is hilariously, side splitting funny, or entertaining, interesting, challenging. Unfortunately it is none of those. It's just embarrassing. A rip-off from brainless American comedies. The latter are at least done professionally, with no amateur actors.

It is pretty boring and predictable, a waste of time and energy, especially to those sitting through the entire movie as I unfortunately did. Yawn.

First movie I walked out of

[afromme · 1/10 · 23 February 2005]

Seriously - avoid this movie at any cost. I just saw it in my first "sneak preview" ever and although I paid non-refundable money for it, I walked out of the cinema after a mere 15 minutes. Which already includes 2 minutes of discussion among my friends whether or not to leave. First time EVER I walked out of a movie. And I lived through some pretty bad ones.

It's one of those films that is dubbed (and badly so) even though it is shown in its original language. It relies on the oldest, simplest and cheapest jokes in the book. On the military ("What do we do once we reach the fighting zone?" - "You get out of the car and die"; actually, it's much funnier to read here that the way it was delivered in the film), on drugs (a guy eats some "space cookies", behaves really silly and misses his wedding or has to live through it while high - all badly written and acted), on women in the army ("Why do we only get trumpets? We were promised guns!" - "That's the way it is, that's the way it'll stay")... Argh. Okay, you might actually find these genuinely funny, but in that case you seriously scare me.

Additionally, I have seen better acting in the kind of soft porn films you get on European late night TV. So it had lame jokes (delivered badly), beyond lower average acting, lacked pace, was badly dubbed and edited – It just didn't work. At least not on any level used as a measure for films.

I would even be so bold as to say that this flick proves that there are people who can be a lot less funny zan zee Germans. And that's saying something if you like stereotypes. (Which I don't, it's nice to play with them, though. Just in case somebody thinks I'm not being PC enough.)

Instead of going to see this film, do something useful. Try to teach crocheting to prawns, paint your toenails in a really irritating colour, disassemble your bicycle, change some light bulbs, try to understand Einstein's theories, convert to a different religion and back - in fact, go and listen to "Last Christmas" by Wham! on endless repeat. Anything, but don't watch this awful flick.

It's no Animal House, but it's far better than Party Animal

[rutger1 · 5/10 · 19 June 2005]

The main problem with "...Charlie.." is, that' it is a cynical movie to its bones. It is funny, it is smart, but it's also a product of some coke-sniffing talents in Switzerland. This ain't no real movie with no soul. It's a product. A very good product indeed.

If you have fun watching it, that's OK, so did I.

But the people who produced this movie did not want to produce a good movie, they wanted to get in the business, to make money, to touch women, they could never never never never touch.

It's awful to watch a movie like "Achtung..." in comparison to a movie like "Festen" or "Angst essen Seele auf" but it's better than nothing.

Or... no... "nothing" could be better than this soulless, heartless cynical piece of success.

People without heart and soul, please stop making movies.

Thank You

Accurate rendering of Swiss Army Life

[Halbwolf · 8/10 · 22 June 2006]

If you served in the Swiss Army, you WILL recognize yourself in this movie... and will enjoy watching it. You get the feeling of: "Yeah, that's how it is... oh, yes, I remember that exercise... That guy is just like our CO (or whoever)... oh, yeah, the Grenadier vs. Füsilier antagonism..." and so on..

If you never did serve in the Swiss Army, you probably won't understand half the jokes... and then the movie is just plain boring.

This comedy is decidedly Swiss. You have to know the Swiss Army to understand it.

I loved it, but I did serve. (I recognized myself most in the character of Korporal Wyss...) Most of my friends who are not Swiss or managed to worm out of military training didn't think it fun... not because it was inaccurate, but because they didn't understand the context.

Funniest Swiss Movie Ever

[NikkiNoodles · 10/10 · 24 June 2005]

I am swiss and I really liked the movie. Maybe it's because I'm a girl and I didn't have to go to the military.

I think the movie is funny and there are many parts that really can be true. What I didn't like too much is the acting of some actresses. Actually of just one actress. She's better off just singing...

Michael Koch was great and I hope he's gonna be seen in other upcoming movies. Melanie Winiger (ex Miss Switzerland) did a great job, just too sad she didn't get successful in Hollywood. But I hope we're gonna see more of her acting. Marco Rima was great as usual. He's a real comedian! All in all I really love the movie, I think it's worth watching it. Unfortunately I doubt it will ever be shown in an English speaking country (but maybe they'll have English subtitles on the DVD)...

fist swiss movie that can compete with the rest of the world

[fmor · 10/10 · 30 October 2003]

As Switzerland is a very small country and their strong point is for sure not culture I was very surprised in a positive way of this movie. This movie has a original love story, is never boring and has a lot of sense of humor. Especially when they make fun of the army. In the movie is the swiss army but of course it could be the army of any country. Another positive surprise for me was actress Melanie Winiger. As former Miss Switzerland everybody thought that can't work but she did a very good work and I think somebody should inform Jerry Bruckheimer. Melanie would be great in one of his action movies. The only negative point of this movie is the terrible title but otherwise this movie is really worth to watch.

Great comedy

[zangorn · 8/10 · 18 August 2006]

I have no idea why the Swiss themselves seem to dislike the film. I work in the industry, and when saw this, I was very pleasantly surprised. I only understood the subtitles, as is the case for almost all foreign films with me, and this was by far one of the funniest.

So, I'm not really doing a fair comparison to Hollywood films. But if I was, I'd say it was somewhere between Eurotrip meets American pie in terms of quality and comedic value. In terms of Swiss films, its by the far the best and only Swiss film I've ever seen.

Its the closest I've ever been to the Swiss army, but from what I understand, its a joke. And this film makes a great parody of it. Plus there is a token romance in it, Romeo and Juliet style, very tense.

Damn it, but it's the truth

[Barboelsch · 9/10 · 8 May 2004]

Now here is the truth about 'Achtung, fertig, Charlie!': I've read other user's comments and I got the feeling they didn't like the movie but I can tell you why: because they are Swiss themselves and they don't like to hear the truth.

Now lemme tell ya: It is the truth. Good things first: I'm from Germany. That's why I can tell. I used to work with a bunch of Swiss blokes and the two main topics were Dope and the Mafia. No - not Army pocket knives, nor cheese, banks or Cuckoo-clocks, but Dope and the Mafia. So here we are - the movie shows Switzerland exactly as it is.

About the movie itself: you can always argue about the acting, but this was not Shakespeare nor Lessing, but genuine Swiss acting. So we will not be so picky about certain aspects of acting that could have been better. Let's take what this movie was made for: delivering a feeling how it is to be Swiss. And they did - just that! And splendidly!

Besides, it is a funny movie, spiced with good jokes for those who listen carefully. And a touching love story, too. Just go and watch it!

By the way: you might want to check out "Die Schweizermacher" - 'cause it's worth it!

swiss comedy

[jonny-johnston · 8/10 · 6 December 2006]

I really don't see why so many people are slamming this movie for its admittedly formulaic style. its a teen comedy, why are you expecting edgy scripts and high class thespians? its a piece of light relief intended to amuse for a couple of hours!

the film itself may not have the most original of premises and DUH its not realistic that failing to reply to your call up for military service probably won't have you taken away from your bride on the wedding day - its called a plot device, yeah? the fact remains that it is a genuinely funny movie that certainly matches eurotrip or American pie for sheer quirkiness. it has some moments that don't perhaps gel so well but overall its a good film that will provide you with a few proper laugh-out-loud moments. Don't watch it and expect it to change your life, but do expect it to challenge your stereotypes of chocolate cuckoos cheese and neutrality. Switzerland is still very much a "traditional" society where women aren't as well respected as men and there is a bit of gender inequality and this is highlighted. the military is seen by many swiss people as a period where they have to turn up yeah, but the weekends are a huge excuse for getting drunk/stoned with your squad-mates and this film shows this admirably.

Great cinema no. Funny? hell yes.