k9gardner Reviews

Quarantine (2008)

Even for 2008, they should have known better

[1/10 · 11 February 2024]

The herky-jerky camera style that carries relentlessly throughout the entire film should be enough to tell anyone what they're in for. Yeah, it's like that. The fake documentary style with someone who literally cannot hold a camera still for one second in the entire 90-some minute film is so over the Blair Witch top that no one would mind if the makers were taken out back and dispatched accordingly. I hope they made no other films and are pumping gas somewhere in the Midwest. Don't worry, there are no spoilers here. You can't spoil spoiled milk, right?

Ok, here's the actual review:

There is nothing at all good about this film.

No good acting. No good plot. No good lines. No good character studies. No good acting. No good sequences, no good shots. There is nothing good about this film.

Blacklight (2022)

Just so weak. Embarrassing.

[2/10 · 8 June 2023]

I'm not sure how these things happen. You've got a couple of capable actors here, so what do you with them? You give them a weak script, weaker dialog, a few chase scenes and shoot-em-up scenes, and call it a day? Doesn't seem fair. Could a decent director have salvaged this? I doubt it, but we'll never know. Clearly not much effort was made. It's just with a voice as distinctive as Neeson's, you've got to give him good lines. He can barely squeak out a sentence. So why have him give this long driveling self history to the reporter? And why was he even doing that? It doesn't fit at all with the previous character development. Add to the the vehicle going up the ramp and tipping over, the other vehicle bursting into flame on impact, and the fact that six machine guns never seem to be a match for one man with a pistol, and you get the sense of this movie. Really, really, bad. Not average. Bad. Skip it.

White Noise (I) (2022)

With no target, how can you miss?

[3/10 · 19 February 2023]

I know one critic's review ended with " White Noise has so much crammed into its two-and-a-quarter hours that it will take multiple viewings to unpack it all. Luckily, it's all so entertaining that the prospect of those multiple viewings is an enticing one indeed."

I disagree. There are many films that merit a second viewing. Or a first. This is neither. In trying to analyze what was so wrong with it, I was drawn to one of the "tidbits" here. It noted one departure from the DeLillo novel in that, in the novel, Babette did not get shot or go to the hotel or the hospital, and in the movie she did. I asked myself why they made that change, and how different the film would have been had they not made that change. My analysis is that it would not have appreciably changed the film. As an individual detail, it neither contributes to nor detracts from the film.

And then I started considering the other details, scenes, dialogs, characterizations, of the film, as to their individual contribution to the film. I feel that in each case, there were no observed details of the film that actually either detract from or contribute to the film.

In this way, it is somewhat holographic. Any section of the film contains the entirety of the film. The film is not a story, there's no action, there's no real goal or realization or conclusion. The whole thing is really just an existential moment.

Where I think the film fails, is that it exists. As a thought experiment, or an "I wonder what it would be like if they made a movie out of this," it might have been something good for a late night diner conversation among college students. But as a movie, spending what, $100M? To make a movie that would not gross a thousandth of that... I know some would think, "What do you care, it's not your money." But it is somebody's money, and, even though obviously everyone involved knew it would be a bust, almost deliberately, or by definition, they actually took it all the way from concept to distribution. Meanwhile, other film projects, or messages that could truly benefit from being presented through the medium of film, languish on the shelves, perhaps unread.

This is just silliness. But hey, I'm the guy who goes broke trying to help people less fortunate, to get a toehold in their lives. What do I know? How different am I from the filmmakers, who go broke trying to... what? I'm not sure what they're trying to do. Show the angst of the world today, via a film that is both the signifier and the signified? Is there a message there, or is it just an observation of self-observation? I don't know.

Near the end, I started checking to see how much time was left. First, it was 40 minutes. Then 32. Then 25, 17, 14. Then I figured I was close enough to the end that I stopped checking. I figured I would survive till the end. But... why put oneself through that? Unless you are a a DeLillo fan, which I guess I am not, I don't see the point of the two and a quarter hours to watch it. Just spend 5 minutes imagining what it would be like, and you'll probably nail it.

As I Am (2020)

Great low-budget love / discovery film

[8/10 · 5 September 2022]

I love low budget movies, I love gay cinema, I love short films, and I love a movie or story when things turn around and the one you thought was the invulnerable one shows his vulnerable side. IMDb says the budget on this was $10k which is just remarkable, and it kind of shows, in a good way. It reads/shows like a play, on the screen. No fancy effects or anything. If you like theater though, if you like watching a play, allowing the story to be told by actors who are acting, and letting your mind fill in the gaps, then you may like this movie as I did.

I was originally giving it 7 stars because I felt I wanted to see more character and story development, but that probably would have meant a 90 minute movie instead of 62 minutes, which may just not have been possible to complete. I changed it to 8 while writing this because it hit such an emotional nerve in a couple of parts that I still have a tear in my eye, and I may have to watch this whole thing again, right now. Thanks, guys. Well done.

Call Your Father (2016)

Worst date ever.

[3/10 · 2 September 2022]

Had I been the older guy in this setting, it would have been about a 3-minute movie, if that. Perhaps it should have been. Not sure what message the writer/filmmaker is trying to convey. Nothing came through.

If either character truly represented their team, it would be more depressing. I don't think either one does. I do know people like each of them, to be sure. But they are both best avoided.

I don't know how the other reviewers came up with 600 characters to share about this movie. I wanted to submit only the first paragraph. Then I had to add the second. Now this. I could let it go without adding a review at all, but that seemed unfair. I did watch it. I checked at least four times in this 19 minute movie to see how many minutes were remaining. I honestly thought that the unwatchable first minutes were going to be rewarded by some insightful concluding minutes, but...

Ok. That's the 600 I needed. It's all yours.

10.0 Earthquake (2014)

If you want to know what a 1-star movie looks like

[1/10 · 8 August 2021]

Beyond having every imaginable cliche that could be put into one movie (seriously, this has to be measured to confirm, but I believe this is the statistical maximum per minute here), the acting is bad, the effects are bad, the script is bad, everything is bad. Those who gave it more than one star, saying it's fun, or so bad it's good, are just wrong. It's not so bad it's good. It's so bad, it's bad. It should be a career-ender for every single person even peripherally involved in it. The only good thing to be said is that you needn't search any further for the worst film imaginable. This is it.

Homefront (I) (2013)

So awful

[2/10 · 26 January 2021]

Probably every predictable plot device you can think of was in this movie. All the stupid stuff. The "former DEA" dude named Broker is dumb as a post and he's supposed to be some great drug detective? Give me a break. He's so slow to react, keeps getting into ridiculous situations. Cars exploding. He drives right past the dude he's after. Picks up a cat to save it and then stands there like a d.a., even though he knows he's only got seconds to spare. Give me a break. Just awful, awful, awful. I was yelling at the screen the whole time. Thankfully I was watching at home and not in a theater. Sylvester should just put his money in diversified funds and sit on the beach. Please!! No more!!

Unknown (I) (2011)

Why take a good story, and great acting talent, and make a terrible movie?

[4/10 · 3 January 2021]

I can't fault the acting, or the plot. But when making a "spy movie," it would be nice if future filmmakers would avoid the following: obviously leaving a piece of luggage behind at the airport; traffic jams at the worst possible moment; refrigerators falling off of delivery trucks immediately ahead, on alternate route; motorcycles appearing out of nowhere on the wrong side of the road; bridge guardrails that don't provide protection against out of control vehicles; streetcars/light rail trains that hit cars; cars flipping upside down; drivers becoming suddenly able to drive backwards very fast on sidewalks; amnesia...

I really can't go on. This movie had all this, and more. Such a shame, that with better screenwriting, and a little (ok, a lot) of editing, this could have been a great movie. As it is, it was barely watchable, involving a lot of yelling at the screen (that was from me).

The Night Clerk (2020)

Subtle, sweet, maintains the suspense well, great acting

[8/10 · 18 June 2020]

I've learned to differ with many over the years when it comes to movies. Some people need to have things blowing up, or other cgi effects, to hold their interest. For me, a character study like this is much more riveting.

Tye Sheridan does a great job playing Bart. I was worried that it was going to be a one-dimensional portrayal, like, say, Freddie Highmore's Dr. Shaun Murphy in The Good Doctor. Perhaps we're just looking at different degrees on the spectrum... but when Bart "accidentally" opens up and slips into the "everyday world," instead of his own, and sees how easy it can be, it was a beautiful moment, terrifically encouraging, and a real point of relief in the plot.

Other reviewers felt he was yet another "annoying character," designed to bring us somewhere, through the character's denouement, in an altogether obvious way. I didn't find it that way. The subtlety, the pacing, the compactness of the plot mirrored those elements in Bart's life. I'm happy I saw it, and would recommend it.

Encounter (II) (2018)

Nice little nugget of a story, ineptly told.

[3/10 · 26 May 2020]

This was one of those "makes you wonder" kind of movies. The story line makes you wonder, in a good way. About life, death, what we think we know, what we're afraid of. Theoretically it would provide an opportunity for the actors, writer, director, to sink their teeth into it. The actors did a good enough job; but the characterizations were so inept, obvious and, well, stupid, that I'd expect most people will spend the first half hour yelling at the screen, wondering why they're watching it. Don't worry, it gets better. Hah! Just kidding. It doesn't, but you get a little numb to the dialog and the characters as the story starts to emerge. So yeah, it's ok in that the story does manage to escape the movie's clutches.

The Ash Lad: In the Hall of the Mountain King (2017)

Endless yelling

[2/10 · 10 February 2019]

I'm not sure how long this film actually was; it seemed to be approximately endless. All I remember was yelling and screaming from beginning to end, and disengaged voiceovers. I can't begin to express how much I loathe dubbed cinema. It may have been good in original form. Dunno. In this form, it ranks among the worst I've seen.

Ma' Rosa (2016)

A stark glimpse into the life of a family

[7/10 · 21 July 2018]

I just watched this on Popcorn films and really "enjoyed" it. I put that in quotes because it's kind of a gripping drama, it's not a nice sweet feel-good. But it's also not sappy and over-the-top, doesn't feel deliberate or pushed at all. It reads almost like a documentary (as another reviewer said), with its candid acting and "unsteadicam" cinematography. This role won Best Actress at Cannes 2016 for Jaclyn Jose, in the leading role here.

Spoiler alert on the blog; it doesn't give it all away, but anyway, knowing what the story is about doesn't really spoil it. You need to see it happen.

The naturally unfolding pace of the film is frustrating to some (another review), but it's really just a slice-of-life capture, that unfolds in its own time. I liked it enough that I'm looking for other films by the director and some of the cast.

The Open House (2018)

Truly unwatchable due to lameness, not due to scariness.

[1/10 · 22 January 2018]

This movie was almost inconceivably bad. You'd have to take the most obvious and overdone elements of some of the worst B-grade mystery/horror flicks and throw them all into the pot and see which ones bubble to the top with the fat, skim that off and use it to make this film. I can't say enough bad about it. With no plot, and every single "scary tactic" known to filmmakers everywhere used, I challenge anyone to just sit through it without fast forwarding to the end to see if anything happens.

Zoo (2015–2017)

Not sure where to begin

[3/10 · 3 October 2016]

Clearly this should have been a 90-minute movie. Not sure what to say about it other than it was an interesting idea at the beginning but was absolutely unsustainable for the countless hours that I've watched so far. There are so many "he/she's not who he/she appears to be moments, I'm utterly exhausted. Really an awful waste of what might have been an idea. Not only were there meaningless and inexplicable character deaths, but the "human interest" aspects of this episodic tale almost rivaled Aaron Sorkin's derailments of what might otherwise have been a compelling drama. I mean, the two lovers singing to each other in Antarctica when their fate was all but sealed? Give me a break. Really really needed someone to step up to the plate and do some serious editing.

Black Nativity (2013)

Came out better than I thought at first

[7/10 · 5 May 2015]

Some critiques of this movie paint it as too cheesy or clichéd. It is those things. But the screenwriter was kind of between a rock and a hard place, as one often is in transcribing the work for one medium into another. It wasn't written as a screenplay, but the screenwriters had to walk the line between a full adaptation to film on the one hand, and staying as true as possible to Langston Hughes's vision on the other. It's a little rough in parts, and any time someone is singing in a bus station you gotta look at them askance... but still, the conveyance of the story, and the coming together of this family, in this very evangelical style (totally agreeing with Roger Ebert here), along with the star performances of these actors and singers, ensures that "its rough aspects are easy to forgive."

Not a great, great film, as films go. But for a theatrical adaptation of a play on screen, with music, and a voyage/story that speaks to many... Very much worth dedicating 90 minutes to.

The Cell 2 (2009 Video)

Bad without redemption

[1/10 · 4 October 2014]

This movie was so consistently a "miss" that it's almost funny. The director, and the producers, who let it happen, ought to be taken out to the back lot somewhere and done in. Or worse: make them watch this film.

What didn't work is the acting most of all. The characterization a are about the quality of a porno movie, with none of the redeeming features (such as they are). The woman, Maya, who's supposed to figure stuff out remotely, instead just looks like an idiot. She spends most of the movie simply being useless, not knowing what's going on.

And the men in the film – not leading actors, obviously – were so emotionless and paper- thin, they should probably get credit for just maintaining a level of stupor throughout the whole thing.

Even the dastardly deeds of the villain were pretty pale as presented. Altogether a movie that's really not even worth watching for fun. Pass.

RED 2 (2013)

Great, suspenseful, good showpiece for the actors as well

[9/10 · 8 June 2014]

I'm not really a Bruce Willis fan, but I have to say, this film allows him to play his standard role and it just kind of works. He's playing the same character basically as in Fifth Element, but it doesn't seem repetitive. It seems, on seeing Red 2 just now for the second time, that the actors are truly having a romp here, and - unlike the film Mr. & Mrs. Smith, for example, where it seemed that the film was made simply so Brad and Angelina could have a good time, at our expense - somehow we were in on the romp here. It is a great fun movie to watch. I just don't think it would be possible for a director to have kept the combination of Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Anthony Hopkins, Mary-Louise Parker, David Thewliss, Neal McDonough and Catherine Zeta-Jones in a totally wired plot from being entertaining, and I have to hand it to Dean Parisot and the Hoeber brothers for not clamping down on them too hard. I mean, what kind of a cast is that? It's crazy! And it seems apparent that there was room given for a certain amount of improv, such as Anthony Hopkins' little march/dance at a certain point of the film. Just really great stuff that keeps on coming.

The Guard (2011)

Makes me want to know more about its making

[8/10 · 8 December 2012]

I liked this film a lot. I don't want to try to write a review here, there's a lot of them already. Just to comment that this film makes me want to go behind the scenes to see the back story. Really a great plot, excellent and sometimes hilarious dialog, together with outstanding characterizations particularly by Brendan Gleeson. But other little things show great attention to detail as well - like the "theater-style" credits at the end, in which the lesser characters come out and "take their bow" first - really strike me as done right. It seems that local talent weighed in a lot, which I really like as well. On the surface, and beneath it, a great film.

10.5 (2004)

Call for action

[3 October 2011]

Let me start by saying this is not a review, per se. I was going to write one, but was very happy to see that I didn't have to. Every one of the 20 or so reviews I read hit the nail on the head, and those nails hopefully are on the coffin of this movie. This movie was bad, left no stones unturned in its pursuit of badness, and never for more than two minutes let us forget that it was bad. That's about how often an overwhelming discontinuity, or trite piece of mockudrama, reared its head. There is nothing good to be said about this movie, because it is a Bad Movie.

Now here's what I want to do. I want a Call to Action. I believe that all or most of the actors, directors, producers, writers of this movie are still alive and well. I want to call a town hall meeting where they are all called to account for this film. Sort of like a Congressional hearing, the likes of which we've been seeing lately with the bankers or the carmakers.

This movie had a budget of $22 million. That's not super big budget, but it's not chump change. In some way, that's our money. That's the money we've spent on all previous films. It's money we've invested in these companies, with the thought that they will produce good movies. This, as I said, is not a good movie. We should demand action, demand that the wrongdoers be identified, and demand that those responsible are punished. There is no excuse for a film like this. Someone was sold a bill of goods, and every step along the way there were "yes men" agreeing to go ahead with it, when there had to have been over 10,000 opportunities for someone to say, "no, this can't go on." And yet no one did it; no one pulled the plug. No one stopped this disaster from occurring. I think we have the right to know what they were thinking.

Anyone who wants to join me in demanding that the participants in this movie come forward, please let me know! Time is of the essence! Another disaster could be on its way!

All About Tada (2005)

Oh my Tada

[7/10 · 1 August 2008]

I laughed when I saw this tiny film the first time, and I laughed about something else when I saw it the second time. It's got drama, friendship and betrayal, with a certain bit of just desserts in the end. Oh, and did I mention that it has an original soundtrack?

I really liked the interaction between the live actors and the paper "puppets." The subtle changes in the positions of the paper cutouts were really funny. It obviously took a lot of work to prepare and script and shoot and edit all of this.

Some of the moments show a good a bit of twisted humor, sort of along the lines of Pee Wee Herman (as one commenter mentioned on YouTube). One of my favorites is the segment with the weight-lifting bird!

All in all, a fun romp. Note that there is also a black and white version, which I take to be an earlier one. It has some parts that are not also in the reviewed version, so you should really see both of them.

Driving Lessons (2006)

This movie was great, and not a surprise in that!

[9/10 · 4 March 2008]

I've felt that Rupert Grint has a lot of promise from that role by which everyone knows him. So even though I had never heard of this film before, when it appeared in my cable TV listings, I immediately switched to that channel. I am so happy that I did!

I've read from other reviewers that they don't generally like coming of age stories; I on the other hand quite do. I am one of those who is always coming of age; I have been since I was 12, I'm 52 now, and I will probably continue until I'm 92. Coming of age is nothing more than suddenly realizing the possibilities that another day brings. The suddenness of the realization, the magnitude of it, sometimes throws us into disarray. If we try to shelter our delicate selves from that, then yes, I can see how the coming of age can end. But if we simply dust ourselves off, and settle into the new direction we've discovered, then we're all of a sudden on a new path, and we're just as alive as we were yesterday, only stronger, brighter, and I daresay, more interesting.

So that's what this movie was about. This was a coming of age story all the way round; young Ben, his father, Father Robert, and certainly Dame Evie... all went through a marvelous transformation. In fact, so too did Mr. Fincham, didn't he?! All did, I suspect, except in fact the mother, in spite of her enormous opportunity so to do, provided by the events of the end of the film. One is left with the feeling that she will continue on exactly the same path she's been on, only with perhaps a different supporting cast.

So an excellent film, that could not possibly have been made in America, which is utterly depressing to think about, but thank God we have a steady supply of films made elsewhere that we occasionally get to see. I really heartily recommend this film, so long as you don't mind cringing through those parts of it that are all too familiar to us all, and grinning through all the rest of it.

The Baxter (2005)

OK, there are stupid movies that are stupid, and then there are stupid movies that are funny!

[9/10 · 11 September 2007]

I will never give a movie a 10 except my favorite movie of all time, and for that one I won't cast my vote until my final year of life (and so I really hope that I don't get hit by a truck or something before I have a chance to do that! I mean, I'm kind of assuming that I'll know when I'm about to meet my demise so that I'll have a chance to enter my comments here on IMDb!). (Well, actually, I'll probably forget this decree way before then and I'll give some movie or other a 10 and it won't be this excellent film and it won't be that one-and-only most favorite movie of my life, and so the occurrence of my 10-posting will diminish my overall credibility; but I enter these comments knowingly.)

So, about this movie. What do you look for in a movie? I know people that just look for escape. They want something that's going to take them away from the world. Then there are those that are looking for entertainment. They just want to laugh, and, well, I guess there's a certain escape factor there as well. And then there are those that look for themselves, or look for some kind of explanation of it all in the cinema. Will you find any of those here? YES!!! You'll find all of them here! This is a great movie! I mean, it's a great sort of high B movie, maybe a great B+ movie, or, god, I'm nervous and sweating, maybe, OK, maybe an A- movie. OK, this is really a great, fun, honest, stupid, silly, funny, realistic, embarrassing, revealing showcase of a fine American film. There's nothing that Truffault or Fellini made that's better than this; we all are just so enamoured of black and white that we think those are all better.

***Possible spoiler here*** (but I won't give it all away, I promise!). At the 55 minute mark, pay attention. This is such a great moment, it's sort of the denouement of the film. It's where they're all (and you'll have to actually see the film to understand who is included in this "all") sitting in this bar and a miraculous turn of events takes place. Is it ridiculous and preposterous? Yes! But has it happened in real life! Well, all I can say is: it's happened to me! There they are, I can't even parse the relationships at this point, but one party from each of the quasi-relationships is here, in this bar, and they all meet up in this one illustrious moment, and they wind up sitting together in this bar and getting drunk and playing some sort of drunken charade, and... well, that's all I'll say. It is marvellous. Maybe Woodie Allen- ish, as others have written, but I dunno; I think it's its own thing.

You will have to dunk my head in the toilet to get me to say that I'm wrong about this movie, and good luck catching me! It's just a great movie, period. Small, simple, sweet. Please, don't even tell me how jaded you are if you don't like this film.*

* (I am not a part of or related to or otherwise in any way affiliated with anyone in or involved with this film. My opinions are my own, I do not wish to quibble.)

Firewall (2006)

unbearable claptrap

[1/10 · 5 September 2007]

I know some people are more sympathetic of a film than I might be, just because they like a particular actor in the film and wish to give him or her the benefit of the doubt. Well, I don't have any such limitation here, as I don't like Harrison Ford as an actor, or rather should say that I simply don't consider him a good actor at all, and the rest of the cast are also B grade actors. Mr. Ford is just not a particularly believable figure on screen, really in any film he's been in. But I have totally changed my mind about actors on certain occasions, usually ones that I didn't like when they were younger but have gotten to like as they've (and I've) gotten older. Like John Travolta. I hated that whole Grease and Saturday Night Fever era, and thought Mr. Travolta was just, well, greasy and feverish and disgusting. But you know what? He's gone on to do some really credible roles in some really fulfilling movies. I consider him to have become quite a solid actor.

So I watched this film with as little antagonism as possible. Oh, but God, what an awful, awful, awful movie it is. Every device has been done, done, done to death. I was actually yelling at the screen (I was watching it at home) on two occasions.

Possible spoilers (but not really giving much away)*** The first was when there was an opportunity to escape that was so long and drawn out that of course it would end in failure and, woops! Boy, I sure didn't see that one coming! They got caught!

The second was very near the end when "Jack" was scoping out a particular situation from a safe vantage point. Something happened, he needed to move quickly, and... he fell! Boy, I sure didn't see that one coming either! Wow, he really fell! I never would have thought that he would have fallen like that! That really slowed him down, that's such a bummer.

Yeah, yeah... it was really like that. There was no scene in the movie that was any better than anything I have said above. This kind of movie really makes me +angry+ and I would love to contact Mr. Ford personally and ask him, "How dare you to take that fall! How dare you to make a film this useless!"

Oh, but I'm tilting at windmills lately. The "I could have told you that" hedge fund meltdown, the reelection of the most imbecilic president this country has ever seen, and this awful movie. I just don't know how people can look the other way and let these things happen.

So I give this film a "1", only because negative numbers are not allowed. It is the worst of the worst, and a bad example of a bad breed.

Art Heist (2004)

Unbearable claptrap of a pseudo-adventure movie

[1/10 · 12 October 2006]

First, I realize that a "1" rating is supposed to be reserved for the worst of the worst. This movie gets that from me because, as one reviewer points out, it's not bad in a self-aware, over-the-top sort of way that might allow it to have some comic or cult value. It simply misses its mark on every count. **Contains possible spoilers** The dialog is completely disingenuous. The continuity is so deliberate it's painful. Daniel just finishes speaking of his lost love, and with his final word the flamenco dancers start. The mock-shock of what's her name (see? I don't even remember her character's name, let alone the name of the forgettable actress) when her husband (the Baldwin) first tells her that her friend is the bad guy. The car and the motorcycle chases did all the right things. Vegetable carts gone flying. Cars crashing into each other. Motorcycles going down the stairs. People nearly being hit, but remarkably, no one is. Oh, that's right... except for the one guy who has been stabbed several times, is obviously stumbling along the curb with knife wounds, and an approaching car apparently didn't notice him there. Hmmm.

It's becoming more and more remarkable to me that movies like this can be made. There is so much pressure in the film industry to make money, you'd think that someone in Hollywood would think of making good films worth seeing. Now there's a novel idea.

My suggestion: don't see this film. Don't rent the DVD. Don't watch it on cable. There are lots of other things you could be doing that will leave you feeling more satisfied.

Holy Man (1998)

Forget everything you know... it's not a comedy. And that's good!

[8/10 · 28 March 2006]

I must admit that I am at a loss. Who said that this film was "supposed to be a comedy?" And in some sense, who really cares, because who gets the right to determine any of that for us? Oh I get it. The previews, the trailers. Well, fortunately, I didn't see any of those. I was lucky enough to see the movie on cable, unannounced. I remember something about it back in the day when it came out, but I didn't pay it much attention. Just seeing it, unexpected, thinking in fact that I was ~not~ going to watch it because I was not in the mood for an Eddie Murphy comedy, but sticking with it because it was nothing of the sort. A nice feeling.

So, what about the movie? Well, it walks the line between movie and film. It's by no means a comedy. I can't think of any part of it that was a comedy movie. That's not to say it was depressing or anything. It was really great, I laughed at some parts, and felt a quiver at other parts. I think it's exactly the kind of "message" film that only someone like Eddie Murphy, with his seemingly limitless appeal, could bring to the big screen. It was a gamble, and it seems not to have paid off in the short term, but I think the film has staying power. I don't see any reason why this movie won't survive the test of time. I don't even particularly like Jeff Goldblum, but you see it wasn't a Jeff Goldblum movie either. In fact, when it was over, I was asking, "who made this film?" Who are these people? So now I'm going to sign off here and go look those people up. There's really something here.