Blackace Reviews

Willow Creek (2013)

Not Worth Your Time *Spoilers"

[2/10 · 13 April 2017]

*** Lots of Spoilers ** Just watched this movie, but I was listening to it mostly. First of all this film was written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait. That alone should caution viewers on what is to be expected. The first half of the film is basically Kelly and Jim planning and making the long drive to Willow Creek. Why anyone in their right mind would want to go to a place where BigFoot was seen and stay overnight is beyond me. Then for another 15 mins they are hiking throughout the woods hoping to get a glimpse at the beast and capture him on film. Jim is trying to prove that Bigfoot does exist. They eventually get lost. All of this including the dialogue is boring and tiresome. After finding a sock in a tree and taking a dip in a stream the couple pitches a tent. For 20 mins of one shot you see Jim and Kelly sitting in the tent, clinging to each other as creepy and loud sounds happen outside. Then the tent gets hit and the couple gets even more scared. All this buildup and suspense pretty much leads to nothing. They end up running into a comatose large naked women in a loin cloth, just standing in the woods. This just happens to be the missing women (Mary Anne Duende) that was pictured on the wall. Apparently this Bigfoot beast needed a mate. For the rest of the ended you just see the camera bouncing around and hear Jim being dragged away screaming with camera in tow. You don't see Kelly or Jim's death. You don't even see Bigfoot or any beasts. You do see a large footprint earlier. Very disappointing. Sure there is some suspense, but the payoff at the end is terrible. You'd be better of just forwarding the film to the end, cause it's that bad. The trailer pretty much shows the whole film.

I gave this crappy film a 2 out of 10.

Irreversible (2002)

Head Spinning, Eyes Hurting Vulgar Film

[5/10 · 6 July 2013]

This movie is a serious head trip. Most people won't even get to see the whole thing because of the dizzying vertigo camera work. Seriously, about 15-20 mins of the film is showing the sky, room, or something else with the camera constantly spinning. There's like 8-10mins of this at the very end of the film with flashing lights. I literally just fast forwarded through it. If you have Epilepsy or are prone to seizures, do not watch this film. Seriously.

There is a story here. It's about a couple Alex & Marcus, who go to a high society party with their friend Pierre who was once Alex's boyfriend. He still has strong feelings for her, but is very happy that his friend Marcus is with her now. Marcus gets drunk at the party and Alex decides to leave, even though Pierre begs her to stay. He also tells Marcus to go after her, but he refuses. Alex decides to take an underground tunnel that passes under the street to get to the other side. She runs into a man (we find out earlier that his name is Le Tenia) who's talking to a woman. The woman he's talking to breaks free from his grip and escapes. Tenia approaches Alex and after a few harsh words, he throws her to the ground and brutal rapes her. The rape is somewhat graphic. There is some nudity, but the belittling and verbal abuse Tenia does to Alex is over the top. Very graphic and cruel. The beating is even worse. Of course Marcus & Pierre later find out and seek revenge on Tenia.

What's interesting about the film is it's told in reverse (hence the name 'Irreversable'). The film actually starts with Marcus and Pierre running through a gay orgy house called "The Rectum" looking for Tenia. You'll have to see for yourself what happens when they finally find him. Then the next chapter shows how they got the info to find him. Eventually the film will end at the very beginning of the story, which is a happy and sad moment.

The best scenes in this whole film are "the train ride to the party" and "Alex & Marcus at their apartment before the party talking." You can truly see and feel how much love they have for one another in these scenes (Monica & Vincent are married in real life you know). The train scene is interesting because you learn more about Alex & Pierre's relationship and nothing is held back. Every secret is brought out to the opening. It's a little hard watching it in subtitles because they talk so fast. The acting is very well done in these scenes. Vincent Cassel, Albert D. and Monica B. are all very good here. Even Jo Prestia is good as the vicious bad guy.

What kills this film is the crazy camera work and some obnoxious scenes that are a bit over the top. The trip through the Rectum club was just torture for me. I wanted them to hurry up and find Tenia and get the hell out of there. The fact that there is a real bar called Rectum is just disgusting to me. I would never set foot in a place like that. I can understand why people walked out of the theater. The first 20mins is hard to stomach. I understand why they played it in reverse, but the crazy camera scenes seem to be there to make you nauseated and extend the film. The film is only about 75-80mins long really. If you must see this, Netflix is the place to watch it. It's currently streaming right now.

I gave this 5/10.

Ginger Snaps (2000)

Ginger Does Snap, The Movie Bombs.

[3/10 · 1 September 2012]

I read the reviews here and was expecting at least a good movie, but Ginger Snaps was poorly made. First of all the two girls playing Ginger and Bridgette are extremely annoying. Thirty minutes in, I was ready to turn it off. This has got to me Mimi Rogers worse movie ever. She is just lifeless and wooden. I had to do a double take several times to confirm this was really Mimi Rogers. She looks like hell to begin with and her acting here was obviously thrown out the window. The guy who plays the father is clueless and has almost no speaking parts.

The story is about two sisters who are really into Goth and death. They take pictures of themselves in various death scenes, whether it's a pitchfork through their next or a fence through their back, they are setting up the props and snapping the picture. They are two peas in a pod until Ginger is whisked away by a werewolf and bitten the day she has her first period. She starts to treat her sister Bridgette badly and gets turned on by boys in her high school. Soon she's making out with boys and killing students. Bridgette takes it into her own hands to try to reverse the curse with the help of a pot dealing loafer who sells drugs to the students. The story isn't terrible, but the execution is just poor. The special effects of the werewolf is creepy and weird. It doesn't look like any werewolf you would normally see. The ending is completely forgettable. Apparently there are 2 sequels, but this ending doesn't really point you in that direction. The movie isn't really worth seeing unless you must see every werewolf movie out there. There are much better ones then this. My wife fell asleep 25 mins before it ended. I barely stayed awake myself. You've been warned.

3 out of 10 rating (POM 9/1/2012)

The Twilight Zone: Escape Clause (1959) Season 1, Episode 6

Wonderfully witty and dark,

[7/10 · 13 May 2012]

*** Some minor spoilers *** Walter Dedeker is a hypochondriac who believes he is sick and dying. The doctor examines him and says he's in perfect health, but Walter doesn't believe him. His wife Ethel is worried sick however and even the doctor sees her distraught. He decides to give her a prescription for some vitamins. Walter then scoffs, "See, I'm dying, but she gets vitamins!". Enter the Devil (Thomas Gomez), who has a proposition for Mr. Dedeker. He will give him unlimited immortality for his soul. This way Walter will never have to worry about death or dying. The Devil even includes an "escape clause" as the title says. If Walter wishes to end his mortality, he can at anytime.

So you would think that someone with immortality would use it to try to get rich and live his life in luxury with lots of friends for 1000's of years right? No... not Walter. Instead he tries over and over again to kill himself. Of course none of it works. The ending is pretty predictable. It baffles me why someone with immortality would continually try to kill himself, even after he has proved that it won't work? How can anyone be bored when you are able to meet new people all the time and get new technology. The only downside to immortality is the world will eventually end and be destroyed. Watching the Earth be demolished isn't something I'd want to see. Roaming out in space until eternity probably wouldn't be fun either.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974 TV Movie)

One of the best children's Christmas animation.

[8/10 · 23 September 2011]

There are many Christmas animations for children during the holidays. We know the originals (Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Little Drummer Boy, Santa Claus is Coming To Town, Rudolphs Shiny New Years etc..) Two of my favorite that don't get shown as much are "A Year Without A Santa Claus" and this gem "Twas the Night Before Christmas." It tells the tale of two families just before Christmas. One is a human family with a father who is a clock maker. The other is a family of mice with an intelligent male mouse named Albert who doesn't believe in Santa Claus. After Albert writes a letter to Santa Claus, telling him that he and the townsfolk no longer believe in him, Saint Nick decides to blacklist the town and remove them from his itinerary.

When the clock maker finds this out from Father Mouse he decides to make a special clock that at midnight will chime and sing a wonderful song to apologize to Santa and bring him back to the town.

The animation isn't anything special, but the story and voice acting is terrific. It really grabs your attention and keep you watching. The songs and music are also great and little kids will love it. It's still one of my favorite Christmas specials. For some reason it doesn't come on every year anymore. If it does, it's only shown once and I must miss it. I just ordered the DVD off of Ebay. It comes with the sequel to Frosty the Snowman. I'll let me 2 year old watch it this Christmas. A must see for the whole family. Watch for it this holiday on T.V.

Kung Fu Mama (1973)

Great Kung Fu Flick of the 70's

[7/10 · 30 July 2011]

My father took me to see this with my mother back in the earlier 70's. I was like 8 or 9yrs old at the time and it was quite obvious that my parents couldn't find a baby sitter for me. I had no idea where I was going until after I was put in the car. This movie was a double feature with a Rated "X" flick called "The Bang Bang Gang" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0177530/ . My father was a huge martial arts fan, so that was why he went to see this. The lady at the booth said, "You know these movies are rated "R" and "X" and it's not appropriate for your little boy. My father said, "He'll be sleeping through most of it." LOL, not!! I'm sure my mother went just to get out of the house for a change. Anyway, the X rated movie came on first, I remember my mother telling me to close my eyes when the nude sex scenes started and she put her sweater over my head. Luckily the sweater was knitted with large holes and I was able to see everything. lol!! See my review of "The Bang Bang Gang" on its page. Now, as for the Kung Fu Mama movie, I was allowed to watch that. I don't remember the plot. Something about Big Mama's land being taken by crooked people. Her and her daughter had to fight these baddies and the action was pretty awesome for back then. One guy threw an ax at Mama and she caught it and threw it into his chest. Then she did a flying kick to another guys face. Big Mama got beat up pretty bad as well though. I don't remember how it ended. All I know was there was some great action and a lot of high jumping attacks. The flick is definitely worth watching if you can find it. It also goes by the name "Queen of Fist" & "Karate Lady". You can probably watch it on the Internet if you Google search it. I give the movie a 7 out of 10. I wish I could tell you more about it, but I was way to young to remember everything. If I get more info, I'll update my review.

Prey (2010)

Here Piggy Piggy

[6/10 · 6 July 2011]

I watch this movie on Netflick while visiting family in New York. First of all the whole movie was subtitled as this is a foreign film that was never dubbed (at least not for Netflix). The plot isn't too complex. A family comes together for a gathering at the father's home. Claire (the daughter) is running the pesticide business for the family and business has been doing poorly as the competition has improved their formula. Her father tells her on the phone that she needs to get back to the labs and come up with a new formula that can compete, as she had done in the past. Claire is pregnant and her husband Nathan is their to share the good new to the father. The day everyone is suppose to meet, Claire's brother and father are discussing business out side as they walk along the wire fenced landscape. All of a sudden, deer run into the wired wall and kill themselves trying to get through the wired fencing. The brother Nicolas decides he wants to find out what's scaring the deer. He asks Nathan if he'll come, but Nathan isn't a hunter and he wants to wait for Claire & her mother to come home.

When Nicholas & his father discover crazy wild boar are causing the ruckus, they go back to the house to get more weapons and ammo. This time Nathan decides to go along with David. What happens next is all out war as the boar chases the men throughout the fields, up trees, into ditches and through fences as they try to kill the crazed boars before they kill them.

Now, I didn't follow the story too well do to my daughter running around in front of me and screaming every time a loud sound occurred on the scream. What I did find out is pesticides Claire tested was being dumped in the small river and lakes near by. This was affecting the boars and making them go crazy. There is a lot of blood, guts, tension, drama and twists in this movie. Character development was terrible though, so you really won't care who gets killed. You'll root for Nathan, but care less about the other characters The end left me scratching my head. If you can watch this on Netflix, go for it. It's a short film at only 84 mins. It's far from perfect, but like the movie High Tension, it's worth at least one viewing. Don't waste your money buying it though. It's not that good. I wish the ending was better though. Check it out.

The Amazing Race (2001– )

Best Reality Show On Television - Period

[9/10 · 3 June 2011]

There are hundreds of reality shows on television now, all over the world, but only one captures the excitement. fun, drama, exhilaration, competition and intelligence of a great show. That show is The Amazing Race. Eleven paired contestants travel all over the world completing objectives and challenges on their way to the final "Pit Stop" of the day. Not only are these challenges physical, but all mental and frustrating. Players have to keep it together with themselves and their partner if they are to make it to the end ahead of everyone else. The last couple who makes it to the "Pit-Stop" is usually eliminated. The show is so fun to watch not only for the incredible locations and exciting race on foot, in car, by plane and train through each city, but also because of all the drama between contestants and their partners. Many partners are so competitive, that they get frustrated with their partner or themselves and it shows on camera in many different ways. Every episode is a blast to watch. you never know what's going to happen next or what location they will travel to. It's fun seeing the world and culture of other people. It's even more fun watching the couples navigate though an unfamiliar environment. One wrong turn or flat tire could push them into last place. There are other great reality shows like American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance. Top Chef, Chopped, America's Got Talent, but none of them are as creative or interesting as The Amazing Race. No wonder it's already on it's 18th season, as they've decided to do 2 seasons a year now. The show is so popular. Definitely check this show out.

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005)

For Kids Only. About As Good As Spy Kids 3-D.

[4/10 · 16 February 2011]

Let me get the story out of the way first. The film is about a boy (Max) who is picked on at school and decides to conjure up his perfect dream world to escape the real world. His world in on the Planet Drool and the superheroes that protect it are Sharkboy (Taylor Lautner) and Lavagirl (Taylor Dooley). When trouble occurs on the planet Drool, the 2 heroes materialize on Earth. They seek out the only person who can save the planet, which is Max. From there the wild adventure begins.

Now, if you have seen the awful SpyKids 3-D, then you have some idea as to how this movie will look. I didn't care for either movie. The story was just badly written and definitely didn't have anything interesting in it to keep adults attention. Whereas movies like Toy Story 3 and Up have enough entertainment to keep both kids and adults glued to their seats, AoS&L will make you want to run out of the theater. There are some nice special effects and some funny moments, but not enough to keep you there for 93mins. I do get what Robert R was trying to do and he does it right if only 4-12yrs old are going to see his film.

Kids 4-12yrs old will probably love this film. It's aim squarely at them just like the movie "Shorts". If you were going to the movies, you'd send your kids in to see this and then you would go and see Robert's Grindhouse (Planet Terror) or Machete flicks instead. I do enjoy most of Robert R. movies. I was a big fan of Grindhouse (Planet Terror), Sin City, El Mariachi, Desperado, Spy Kids 1 & 2, From Dusk Till Dawm and even The Faculty. Movies like Shorts and AoS&L just can't keep my interest. They are just too kiddie for me. I'm hoping Robert and Quentin will give us another Grindhouse film, but have it focused on Horror or Japanese Giant Monsters like Godzilla. I would be interested to see how then would make movies in those genres.

If you are an adult or teen older then 12, don't even waste your time on this flick. Not worth a rent or purchase. If you have kids who are 4-12yrs old, pick up all the Pixar and Disney flicks you can find. That will keep them entertained for a few months.

Score 4 our of 10.

Star Tours (1987)

Now, The Adventure Is Real!

[10/10 · 4 December 2010]

What can I say about Star Tours that hasn't already been said? Star Tours is a motion simulated ride created by the minds of George Lucas and Disney. Original Disney was going to make a ride based on the Black Hole, but the cost was very high back in 1986, so it was crapped. Disney decided to partner with Lucas to create Star Tours. Disney purchased the four military-grade flight simulators, that cost $500,000 each, and designed the ride's structure. Lucas and his Industrial Light & Magic team created the film for the ride. On Jan 9, 1987, the ride opened to a large number of Star Wars fans who were dressed as SW characters. The Disneyland park stayed open for a 60hr marathon due to the demand for the ride.

As for a ride itself, it a space tour bus that is suppose to take you to the forest moon of Endor where the Ewoks live. If you recall, this was where the battle took place in the Return of the Jedi movie. When you enter the ride it's like a spaceport boarding terminal. Before you get there though you have to walk up and down ramps with lights, animated droids, conveyor belts and pulleys moving around inside a caged areas. You also get a chance to see C-3PO and R2-D2 who will speak to you as you go by. There is also a mock-up version of the StarSpeeder 3000, which is what you will be boarding. Once you get to the loading dock, a ride attendant will line everyone up to board the ride. A video is shown before you board. It tells you where to sit and how to fasten your seat belts (you'll need the seat belt). It's pretty funny video as Star Wars alien characters are in it and it's a hoot.

Once the doors open you move all the way into the last chair and fill up the seats. The front window of the speeder is covered at first, but it eventually lifts up after everyone is seated. You finally get to meet Rex, the RX-24 droid who pilots the StarSpeeder 3000 to Endor. He starts chatting to the guests and tells them about the ride and where you'll be heading. He also tells you that this is his first flight. Rex is voiced by Paul Reubens (aka Pee Wee Herman) and he's very funny. Outside of the window you'll you'll see you are docked inside the space station. Eventually the ship starts to move as you head to the launch tubes, but Rex makes a mistake and the ship heads down the wrong tunnel. Hang on.

I'll leave it at that. All I can say is watch that first drop. lol!! What makes Star Tours special is the sense of speed and feel of the shuttle flying. When you go into light speed, you'll feel the ship lunge forward as your back and head gets pressed into the seat. It's a very cool effect. When the ship banks and dives, so do you. It's a wonderful ride that must be experienced by everyone. Once my daughter is old enough, I'll take her on this. For an even better experience, try Star Trek Experience at the Hilton in Las Vegas. It's at least 2x's better then Star Tours and their shuttle has windows on the sides. Another ride to try with a similar feeling is "Soaring...". It's a hang gliding ride simulation. This can be found at Adventure Land in California and Epcot in Florida. The line is usually very long for this ride. Have fun.

The Sopranos: Made in America (2007) Season 6, Episode 21

Chase is a genius, but Tony Soprano is dead.

[8/10 · 10 November 2010]

For everyone who watch the last episode and thought that Tony Soprano lived and would be watching over his shoulders for the rest of his life, they are wrong. He was actually shot and killed. In an interview Chase said that everything in the final scene is there for fans to figure out what truly happened to Tony. People just needed to piece things together.

On this website, 'master of sopranos' give you all the details, shot by shot. http://masterofsopranos.wordpress.com/ the-sopranos-definitive-explanation-of-the-end/

Like everyone else, I was confused about the end too. I thought the cable had went out at first. After reading the detail reenactment of the events on this site, it's pretty clear that Tony was shot. My only question concerning the shooting is, "Why didn't Tony hear it before he died?" Even if Paolo Colandrea (Man in Members Jacket who shoots Tony) used a silencer, we should have heard something. Other questions were never answered as well. Who put the hit on him? What would happen to the rest of the family members, especially AJ, who would be next in line?

The way Chase played out the last scene was brilliant. Read the whole article on the site. It's long, but a lot of it makes perfect sense. Still, even if Tony was shot, it can still be questioned whether he died or not. Only Chase knows for sure, but I think this was a perfect ending to the series.

Piranha 3D (2010)

Girls Gone Wild Meets SAW.

[7/10 · 24 August 2010]

Just wow!! I went to see Piranha 3D and was blown away by what I saw. I had seen the original Piranha and I figured a reboot of the film would be a lot better. So yes, the movie is better then the original, but there were a few problems I had with the film.

First of all the story is about hundreds of prehistoric piranhas being released from an underwater lake cavern after a small earthquake rocks the lake. These man-eating beasts have been feeding off eat other for hundreds of years, while laying thousands of eggs. When one of the local fisherman goes missing a search is sent out. A local police woman Julia (Elisabeth Shue) and Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames) finds the boat on the shore and the fisherman's body pops up as well. Of course they want to close the lake, but it's spring break and the party must go on. Big mistake.

Now, the problem I have with the film is the first 30-40mins is nothing but T&A with college kids being obnoxious in their boats. It's like "Girls Gone Wild". There was very little character development. We know that Julie son is in town to baby sit is little sister and brother, but decides to become a lake location guide for Derrick Jones (Jerry O'Connell) who makes soft porn type videos. The second half of the film is all about the piranhas and their favorite food. Humans. There is more gore, guts, decapitations, body parts and missing flesh off of every body limb in this movie then any I've ever seen. Yes, it's more bloody and gory then the "SAW" and "Hostile" movies. Really great special effects though. The gore and carnage looked very real. This is not a movie for kids. I was ready for the gore and blood, but this was like a meat market. Was very over the top and a bit overdone.

Many of the actors and actresses are wasted in this movie. Only Elisabeth Shue, Steve R. McQueen, Jerry O'Connell and Jessica Szohr has a major role. Ving Rhames don't have much to do but scream at the swimmers and try to kill the piranhas. Dina Meyers wasn't used much at all and neither was Christopher Lloyd. It was more like a cameo for these actors.

The film ends abruptly with a chance for a sequel. Actually a sequel has already been announced by the producers. Chances are good it will be at a different location. I was hoping they would continue this film from where it left off, but I'm be surprised if that happens. If you like a lot of gore and want to see full body nudity and lots of T&A, then this is the movie for you. I gave this film a 7 score. It really felt like the story was rushed and the characters never truly were developed well. I didn't care about any of them. The film is only 84mis long. Hopefully the sequel will be better.

Ip Man (2008)

Yip Man - Best Martial Art Film In Years

[9/10 · 29 May 2010]

I've been a martial arts movie fan for years. Every since I was in High School and my friend invited me to check out his Tai-Kwon-Do class, I was fascinated with Asia style martial arts. I eventually joined my friend's class and went as far as Blue Belt before heading off to college and leaving the class. I've seen just about all the best martial arts movies; from Drunken Master 2 to Once Upon a Time In China. Even the classics like 7 Blows of the Dragon and 5 Deadly Venoms. I've seen them all. I have my favorites like Fist of Legend, Wing Chun, The Prodigal Son and Tai Chi Master 1 & 2. What I loved about Yip Man was the well written story the accompanied the great action. Yip Man tells the story of Ip Man who was the first Wing-Chun Master to teach Westerners this style. He was Bruce Lee's first Master. His teachings popularized martial arts in American and started a chain reaction on various martial arts schools throughout America.

The movie is a biopic of Ip Man's life in Fo Shan China where he lived and taught his style. Fo Shan in 1930 was know for it's martial arts schools and one could be found on just about every corner. Yip Man did not have students, but would occasional be challenged by other masters interested in learning from him. Yip Man would fight them behind closed door, so if they lose, they would not be disrespected or humiliated by their peers or students. This was Yip Man way and he was well respected throughout Fo Shan.

What turn things around in Fo Shan was the Sino Japanese war that appeared in Fo Shan. The Japanese Imperial army took over Fo Shan and even took Yip Man's home away from him. They treated the Chinese people with no respect and had them working for less then minimal wages. At this time Yip Man is barely able to feed his family and takes up work shoveling coal. All of Fo Shan people were at the mercy of the Japanese army. The armies' Generatl Miura (Hiroyuki Ikeuchi) would have Li Zhao (Lam Ka Tung), who was the translator and liaison between the Japanese and Chinese, find fighters to battle Japanese soldiers for rice. If the Chinese fighter won, he would get a bag of rice for every man he defeated. It's safe to say that Yip Man himself eventually gets his turn, but not very willingly.

The fights in this film are sensational. With Sammo Hung and Tony Leung Siu Hung overseeing all the action, you know it has to be great. Some of the best action is when Jin Shan Zhao (Siu-Wong Fan) comes to Fo Shan to open his own martial arts school. He challenges all the masters to make sure he's the best in Fo Shan. The action, technique and martial arts skill are intense. Nothing is held back. Donnie Yen's Yip Man is awesome. A humbled man who enjoys the quiet life, yet loves to train and practice the Wing Chun style. His Wing Chun style is fast, soft and mainly a defensive style. The Wing Chun style was created by a woman. Even Yip Man's stance and how he holds his hands represents a woman's posture. It's not hard or stiff like Karate or Tae-Kwon-Do. When Yip Man fights some of his opponents he spends the 1st few minutes simply defending, blocking and diverting the oncoming blows. When he strikes however, it's lightning fast and direct. It's wonderful to watch.

This is a must have film. I just finished watching Yip Man 2 on DVD, which is almost as good as this film. The story isn't as well written and character development isn't as strong, but Sammo Hung is in it this time. He's great as usual. Still worth seeing though. In any case Yip Man should be seen by every martial arts fan. It's definitely in my Top 10 along with Drunken Master 2, Fist of Legend, Once Upon A Time In China & Tai Chi Master. Do not hesitate to get this film. Overall I rate this movie 9/10.

Bug (1975)

Bugs That Start Fires? Really?

[6/10 · 22 May 2010]

Back in the 70's there were several insect gone wild type movies. There was "Giant Spider Invasion, Squirm, Killer Bees, Kingdom of the Spiders and all kinds of other insect films. "BUG!" was a movie I saw on T.V. when I was still in High School. Like others who've seen it, it freaked me out back then. I had a chance to read the book "The Hephaestus Plague" and then watch the movie again. The book was far better of course and included a lot more details. There are a bunch of discrepancies between the book and the movie. For one, Pros. Parmiter didn't have a wife in the book. I think she was included in the film so she could be killed off and help push Parmiter even further into madness against the bugs. In the film when Prof Parmiter is teaching a class, the classroom looks like a grammar or high school classroom and not a college class room which is where he teaches. In the book Metbaum is burned by the bug, just like in the film. The difference, in the book is Metbaum has to be admitted to the hospital due to the strange bacteria the bugs are carry. He becomes very ill, but survives. With the Tackers, they owned a orchard right next to where the hole opens. You don't see that in the movie. The orchard and the barn is burned to the ground due to the bugs. In the movie, it shows how the bugs travel inside the tailpipes of cars. Same thing in the book, but the book tells of how the bugs travel to other cities and states. They start fires all over the east coast. There is also news about it on T.V. Also in the book, they were able to kill the bugs using a certain sound wave. Most of them are contain, but that's when Parmiter breeds his own species of the bugs. First he breeds it with a Praying Mantis and then a roach. In the movie he breeds it with a roach and then breed it again with the pre-historic bug. Even though the bug does get wings in the book, the bugs are to heavy to fly. In the book, Parmiter does all his research at his home and not the Tacker's place. The film ending is whacked. The bugs are as big as birds (not true in the book) and they burn up Prof. Parmiter before he runs into the hole followed by all the giant flying bugs. Then the hole closes and that's the end. In the book, Parmiter doesn't get set on fire. The bugs do crawl on him and force him to jump into the hole, but it doesn't close up. Months later Parmiter emerges from the hole like a zombie and the bugs are all over him.

Parmiter does try to kill the bugs eventually, but after seeing them spell lots of things on the wall and tells him they must return to the hole due to the pressure, Parmiter would rather study them more. The bugs don't want that however. The book is just more vast in telling the story. Even the government gets involved for a little bit. Whoever wrote the script for the movie striped away a lot of the elements that made the book so great. The people who died in the movie didn't even die in the book. The movie is like a shell of what the book was. It's probably about 15% accurate and is missing many characters. The movie is also kind of slow and could have been more exciting if they had show the havoc that was happening in other cities.

If bugs creep you out, you may want to stay away from this movie. There are a few shocking moments in the film. The bug on the phone (as seen on the poster) is probably one of the most shocking scenes in the film. I really didn't care for the ending much. I would love to see someone do a remake of this movie, but also continue it further. I still enjoyed this movie. Mainly because it was completely different from other insect horror films. The acting wasn't anything special, but the bugs were.

I give this film 6/10.

Bug (2006)

A Paranoia Psychotic Bug Infested Thriller

[6/10 · 22 May 2010]

A lot of people are going to be scratching their heads when they leave the theater wondering "Were these real bugs under their skin or was this their imagination?" You may have to watch the movie a 2nd time to solve the mystery, but the clues are everywhere. William Friedkin does an excellent job providing clues in the dialogue and within the hotel room. Of course, the paranoia that both Peter and Agnes experiences are the biggest clue of all. Even though I didn't care for the script much (I was bored to death for the 1st half of the movie), the acting was excellent. Ashley Judd, Michael Shannon and even Harry Connick Jr. did an incredible job in this film. "Bug" is worth watching just to see their performance.

The movie centers around Agnes, a troubled depressed waitress who lost her son 10yrs ago. Agnes is trying to get her life back in order. She stays at the rundown Rustic Motel and has a lesbian friend named R.C. (Lynn Collins). She has started to receive mysterious phone calls at night and believes they are coming from her ex-husband Goss (Harry Connick Jr.) who was recently released from prison. One night R.C. drops by with a friend named Peter. We find out that Peter was a soldier in the Gulf War. Peter is quiet and depressed as well. He uses coke to lift his spirits. Agnes, who really wasn't interested in being with a man, starts to fall for Peter. Peter stays with Agnes and after some conversation he tell Agnes that he was experimented on while in the Gulf War and believe that some kind of bugs were infested in his body. Every now and then he sees them come out of his skin. He shows Agnes on several occasions, but she doesn't see them. What follows is continuous paranoia as Peter pulls Agnes into his world of psychological mayhem. Within days Agnes feels she is also infected and can see the bugs in her bed and on her skin. Agnes husband makes a visit and stir things up a bit. He believe Agnes is crazy. He notices that she has lost weight and is trusting Peter way too much. As the bugs get deeper into their skin and their minds, can they escape and is their help for them? What makes the movie interesting is watching Agnes and Peter get more paranoid as each day passes. They try various things to keep the bugs out and try to survive. Almost all of the movie is shot inside the hotel room. The lightning in the room a low, which give it more of a dreary look. My wife actually dozed off while watching this movie. It's not overly exciting, but the tension does build up as it gets close to the end. It's worth a look if you are into psychological thrillers that keep you guessing throughout the movie. If you've seen "Requeim for a Dream", which is a better movie, you might like "Bug".

I give this movie 6/10. Not really my cup of tea.

I Get That a Lot (2009– )

Celebrities Playing Make Believe

[7/10 · 6 May 2010]

This shows was a mix bag. It's basically about celebrities dressing up and working at every day jobs. Paris Hilton at a car wash. Snoop Dogg as a parking lot attendant, Rachael Ray at a dry cleaners and Heidi Klum at a Pizza parlor. Patrons come in, see them and ask them if they are that celebrity. Of course the celebrities lie and eventually says, "I get that a lot." Some of it was really funny, but some of it was just agonizing to watch. After awhile, I really got tired of hearing the actors says over and over again, "I Get That A Lot." Every time a customer or regular Joe from off the street would see a celebrity at the car wash or in a coffee house and say, "Hey, you look like Paris Hilton (or Rachael Ray or Tony Hawk), they would say, "I Get That A Lot". The other problem I had was that several of the celebrities didn't even disguise themselves, so it was obvious that people knew who they were. Yet, they still tried to play it off, which was a bit funny. Tony Hawk used no disguise at all. Everyone knows who he is. Snoop Dogg is definitely a standout brother. It was all in good fun. Some of the funniest parts where Snoop Dogg blasting the radio in one man's car after bringing the car to him. Snoop Dogg was partying in the car and said, "This is my jam." What made it funny was the song on the radio was Snoop Dogg's song. Snoop Dogg then tells the man, "You got good taste dog." Very funny. Watching Paris Hilton help a woman with gas was also good. I can't remember the whole story, but the woman was having problems and Paris bent over backwards to help her. I guess Paris does have a soft side to her. The episode with Gene Simmons was just lame. I didn't find it funny. Same thing with Tony Hawk. Julie Chen's episode as she worked at an ice cream parlor was a bit too much. She kept putting different toppings on the woman's ice cream that she didn't want and then telling her, "You're going to love this." I thought the joke went on to long with that one woman. Overall the show was 'Ok'. It did win it's time slot back on Jan 6, 2010. It's suppose to air again on May 19th at 8:00pm http://www.thewrap.com/ind-column/i-get-lot-returns-may-special-16719

This will be a 1 hour special that will include Tim Gunn, Nick Jonas, Jay Mohr and Wayne Brady, so it might be worth a look. I gave the show a 7 as it was still entertaining and watching celebrities outside their comfort zone is always worth a look.

Glee: Hell-O (2010) Season 1, Episode 14

Love this show.

[10/10 · 14 April 2010]

The new season of Glee has started. Of course we get drama right from the start. Rachel and Finn's boyfriend/girlfriend relationship may not last. Rachel is thinking about dating Jesse, one of the lead singer in the Glee club who they will be competing against in the regional's competition. Finn has been asked out on a date by two of the Cheerios (Santana & Brittany) at the same time. Mr Schuester is battling his own hormones with whether to pursue Emma sexually or take a step back and look at himself and the results of his breakup with his wife Terri. What's worse is the Glee Club members are stuck in the middle trying to keep the members together while focusing on Mr Schuester's assignment, which is to find a song to see with the word "Hello" in the title. The episode was great and the best performance was the Glee team singing the Beatles song "Hello Goodbye". The real surprise bonus however was Sue Sylvester's premier video of "Vogue". I do believe she was actually singing the song herself, and it was great. It included Kurt, Mercedes and some professional dancers rocking out to one of Madonna's best songs. Apparently next week will dedicated to Madonna's songs and this was a preview. Great way to end the 1st episode of the new season. Looking forward to next weeks episode.

The Happening (2008)

It Didn't Happen.

[3/10 · 13 March 2010]

I'd have to say that it's really sad to see M. Night Shyamalan career take a nose dive. After doing the brilliant "The Sixth Sense", M. Night's movies have slowly gotten worse and worse. "Unbreakable" was very good as well, but not as good as "The Sixth Sense". Then came "Signs" with Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix, which was also good, but probably not as good as "Unbreakable". The Village was so predictable, it wasn't funny. It wasn't scary and only have a few moments of intense thrills. I was disappointed. Even Jaoquin Phoenix presence couldn't save that movie. "Lady in the Water" was worse. I still have yet to watch this movie from beginning to end. Now we get the Happening. There are so many things wrong with this film it isn't funny. I'm not going to point out everything, just the things I think are critical.

1) The Script: It's completely horrendous. The idea of plants sending out defensive poisons in the air that causes people to kill themselves and others is a bit much. The main problem though is there isn't enough detail given in the beginning or at the end of the movie that tells us what plants are causing this terrible phenomenon. There are theories thrown around, but never any proof that the trees, grass or other plants is causing this effect. It could have been the birds or some other animals releasing some toxin in the air. Who knows? There's no buildup to a definitive answer. There's not even a conclusion. There wasn't even any twist, which M.Nights movies are known for.

2) Characters/Acting: Absolutely no character development in this film. The only one you really feel for is the little girl. Even though 3 months after losing her parents, she's fine leaving with teachers. The only actors who given any kind of descent performance is Zooey Deschanel and Betty Buckley. It's too bad their talents are wasted on this film. Mark Wahlberg's performances goes from good to terrible by the time the film ends. I was hoping the deadly wind would finally get him. Still, you really don't care about any of the people in this film. We just don't know enough about them to care. So many people die so suddenly, that viewers only concern is how the terror can be stopped (and how did it begin).

3) No Drama/Suspense/Action - The movie is pretty boring. There is very little suspense or drama, and almost no action. With a film like this, you want to be on the edge of you seat, but I was almost on my feet ready to walk out. M. Night's direction doesn't draw you into his vision. Too many questions go on unanswered even after the movie ends. Why didn't the deadly wind effect Elliott, Alma or Jess, yet it effected Mrs. Jones? What caused it to suddenly stop? Why didn't it effect the West coast or other countries? Were any of the people who were effected examined? I would think the brain would be the first thing to get examined. Why wasn't the government more involved? The CIA/FBI would have been on this in a heartbeat.

Anyways, "The Happening" just wasn't happening. It's definitely M.Night's worse movie to date. Next up is, "The Last Airbender" based off "The Avatar" books and anime. It can't be any worse then this movie, that's for sure.

I gave "The Happening" 3 stars. Do not buy or rent this movie.

Phenomenon (2007)

Worse Illusion Show Ever

[2/10 · 15 August 2009]

The only good thing about the show was having Criss Angel and Uri Gellar calling out the would be magicians on their poor attempts to deceive them. The best episode was when Criss Angel told one guy that he was a phony and was going to bet him money to prove it. The guy obviously didn't bite, but was eventually sent packing. Out of the mentalist (illusionist) on the show, only two of them were really any good. The rest were either terrible, boring or just not fun to watch. Obviously the show has been cancelled, and I can understand why. I didn't understand why they needed celebrities there to assist them. They could have just picked anyone from the audience. Maybe if Uri or Criss had performed some tricks of their own it might have been more interesting. Thankfully this will never see the light of day on DVD. If you missed it, be happy you did.

Honey, I Shrunk the Audience (1994)

A very fun 3-D experience. Worth a viewing.

[6/10 · 29 July 2009]

I'd have to say that "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience" was a decent attraction. The 3D is very well done and there are a few nice surprise that will have the little ones screaming and hollering. The story is simple enough. Wayne Szalinski is receiving a reward for his "shrink ray". Like everything Mr Szalinski touches, something goes wrong and the audience is shrunk to miniature size. Chaos breaks out as Wayne and his family try to figure out how to get the audience back to normal size. Because this is in 3D all kinds of goodies come at the audience, plus some real life effects are used as well. Hehehe.. you'll see. It's all in good fun. It's worth checking out once. The only real downside for me was the wait was way to long. We waiting almost 90mins., with the show only lasting like 15mins. That was ridiculous. Even though it'll be great fun for the kids, most adults probably won't be running back to see it a 2nd time. I gave it a 6 our of 10. We saw this at Epcot. There are better attractions like Soaring and Mission to Mars.

The Avengers (1998)

Horribly Bad. Terrible Script & Bad Casting Ruins This Film.

[4/10 · 22 July 2009]

Yikes!! I loved the old Avengers (even the black & white episodes), but this remake should never have been made. Ralph Fiennes is just fine as Steed, but both Uba Thurman and Sean Connery were miscast for this film. What makes it worse is the script (about a villain using a weather machine to take over the world) is terribly bad. I can't believe this was the best they could come up with. They could have actually used some of the older Avengers' scripts and made a movie out of it. The movie takes awhile to get going because Steed and Peel aren't acquainted yet. The only thing that was halfway decent was a remix of the old Avengers theme song. There's really nothing to see here. I gave it a 4 or of 10 and that's really being generous. Hollywood need to stop with these remakes. Mission Impossible. The Day The Earth Stood Still. I heard they were doing a Mod Squad remake next. Uuhhgg!! Stay away.

Parks and Recreation (2009–2015)

"Park & Recreations" Aren't Funny.

[5/10 · 10 June 2009]

I really wanted to like this show, but after watching the first 3 episodes (and one episode with the wife who didn't care for it), it's safe to say that this show is not "The Office". It really seems like it's trying to be similar to it, but it's just not funny. It's not Amy Poehler's fault. The scripts are just poorly written. It doesn't help that her surrounding cast aren't the greatest comedians in the business either. Besides Aziz Ansari (Tom) character, most of the other members just aren't that funny. Where as "The Office" scripts are written well for each character/actor on that show, what's written for the casts of P&R seems like force entertainment. You can see Amy is struggling as she deliver her lines and then thinking to herself, (this doesn't sound all that funny). Watch the show and the expressions on her face and you'll see what I mean. It's like they need to fire their writers and hire Tina Fey. Not sure what Rashida Jones was thinking. She should have stayed on "The Office". She does make cameo appearance from time to time on that show, but I honestly don't expect P&R to be around much longer unless they get new writers. The Pilot wasn't bad, but it seems like it's going downhill every episode. The last episode with Leslie on a date she wasn't aware of was terrible. Ann getting angry about Andy cast being on longer then it needed to be, did make the episode any more enjoyable. I haven't see anymore episodes on T.V. Either the show has already been canceled or it's on hiatus for the summer. I'll give it another shot if it returns, but if it still isn't great, I'll unschedule it from my DVR.

Push (2009)

Wish Someone "Pushed" Me Away From The Ticket Booth.

[5/10 · 21 March 2009]

***** SOME SPOILER INFORMATION *****

I was looking forward to this movie after watching the trailer at the San Diego ComicCon almost a year before it was released. So when the movie came out, I rushed out to see it with the wife. Was I in for a rude awakening. The movie is about 2 Americans with special abilities who escape from a government run organization called the Division. Cassie (the clairvoyant) and Nick (the telekinetic) meet up and are on mission to find a women (Kira - a Pusher) who holds the secret power to make the Division the most powerful organization in the world. They must protect her and prevent the Division from recapturing her. In the process they are being chased by not only the Division, but an Asian Mafia who also wants the item Kira has hidden. These people also hold extraordinary powers.

There are different type of psychics in the film that include Movers, Pushers, Watchers, Bleeders, Sniffs, Shifters, Wipers, Shadows, Stitchers.

So that's all fine and good, but Director Paul Mcguigan makes the mistake of focusing the majority of the movie on the character's development. This wouldn't have been a bad thing if it was interesting, but it's not. There are many flashbacks showing Nick and Kira's past and how they became to be. Some scenes are good and interesting, but most aren't. With only a couple of quick action scenes thrown in, the movie begins to drag and become boring. My wife fell asleep and even I started to doze off after awhile. Of course in the trailer, most of the action scenes are shown over anything else in the movie. Unfortunately, what was shown in the trailer is about all the action you'll see in the movie. I wasn't disappointed with the location, as Hong Kong is a great place to film a movie like this and it actually fits with what's going on it the film. Nick has fled the U.S. to escape the Division and Hong Kong is a perfect place to hide. Unfortunately with Watchers and Sniffs around, they can eventually track him down.

What little special effects that are here, are very good, but the director should have added a few more action scenes and chases. The script wasn't well written either and many times all you're hearing is a bunch of gibberish on the screen. With crazy lines like these, you have to wonder what the writers were thinking.

Kira Hudson: When do I open it? Nick Gant: When you start to doubt the truth.

----

Cassie Holmes: Please don't make me do anything to myself.

---- Nick Gant: Hey, what did I inject myself with? Cassie Holmes: Seven Dragons Soy Sauce.

Overall the movie isn't worthing going to the movies to see. If you can catch it on cable in the future, that's fine. Chances for a sequel to this movie is slim, unless it goes straight to DVD. I can't really blame the actors for this dud, as they didn't do a terrible job. This may be Dakota Fannings first bomb. Besides Hide & Seek, most of her other films have been very good.

Pulse 2: Afterlife (2008)

Worse Sequel Ever. Movie Doesn't Have A Pulse.

[2/10 · 12 December 2008]

I was hoping that the sequel would continue where the first movie left off so we could get to a final ending. As we know the first movie ended with Mattie & Dexter driving down the road to try and find survivors. Well this sequel, isn't even a real sequel. It's basically the same story, but with a different cast. The soulless ghost have taken over the city. We find a women searching for her child who she believe may have been taken by a soulless ghost. She finds the little girl with her father, but there's a twist. The women is actually a soulless ghost and she's out for revenge against her husband. The story is really a mess and it looks like the production people couldn't afford to film is many locations. At least half the film is green screened images of towns, fields and cities. It's gotta be the worse green screening you've every seen. Everything looks washed out and fake. It's like you just woke up and have sleep in your eyes and the world around you is unclear.

The whole movie is a slow bore. Both me and my wife fell asleep several times while trying to watch it. The ending had a nice little twist, but it was a little to late, as most people would have probably removed the DVD from the player before that part. The acting is terrible. Everyone walks around like zombies and speak like they just walked into the movie and don't know what's going on. Jamie Bamber who is excellent in Battlestar Galactica, is horrible in this movie. It's like he forgot how to act or just got very poor directions from the director. The other actors and actresses are worse then he is.

Stay far away from this garbage. Like a fool I actually bought this crap and will try my best to get rid of it on Ebay with a large collection of other crappy movies I own. If you must see this movie, wait for it to come on cable, if ever it does. Don't waste your money renting it. You've been warned. I give this film a 2 out of 10, and that's actually generous. I can't believe they made a Pulse 3 after this movie. More garbage.

The Stuff (1985)

Very Bad Stuff

[4/10 · 2 August 2008]

I have been trying to find this movie for over the last 20yrs. Back in 1985, I saw the trailer for it on T.V. and it started out with an ice cream truck driving down the street. Some kids and adults gathered around the truck while the announcers stated that "The Stuff" was here. It's creamy, yummy and you can't get enough of it. Then it showed a man who had eaten about half his ice cream cone and the announcer changed his tone and said, "It will take you over, eat you and kill you." and the camera zooms up on the guys mouth, and you can see the creamy white "Stuff" eating away the inside of his mouth. Bleah!! It was pretty gross and freaked me out back then. Something like this would have 4-10yrs old running from their T.V. sets. Talk about setting up kids for nightmares.

I tried googling "parasite eating ice cream" to no avail, until one day on IMDb, I was looking up info on an old "Snuff" film from the 70's and saw "The Stuff" come up. Immediately, I knew this was the film. So I ran to the video store and was able to rent it.

Not only was this movie, not scary, but the acting and the comedic nature were even worse. To make a long story short, here is the premise. Two guys working at a petroleum factory stumble across a pool of white creamy stuff in the ground. One of the guys sticks his finger in it and tastes it. Now I don't know about you, buy any normal person would never taste anything coming out of the ground unless it was water from a Spring pool. Anyway, the guy who tastes it says it taste real good. So good in fact, that they decide to market it as a new kind of ice cream treat, even though it's "not" ice cream. Before you know it, it's the best thing since the hot dog and everyone is eaten the stuff in gallons. People who try it, can't stop eating it. This causes other tasty treats on the market to lose profits. Several snack food manufacturers come together and hire an investigator to find out where and how this "Stuff" is made. In comes David 'Mo' Rutherford, the private detective who will investigate this tasty treat's mystery. He soon finds out that "The Stuff" is causing people to become uncontrollable zombies. The Stuff takes over their bodies and when it's done using them, it eats their insides and leaves through their mouths. It's alive. He also eventually finds out where this stuff is being stored.

The special effects of this "stuff" is average at best. The movie "The Blob" (Steve McQueen) did a better job and that came out many years before this. The acting is pretty back. Only Michael Moriarty seems to be enjoying himself. Paul Sorvino and Danny Aiello are completely wasted in this film. Garrett Morris makes a short appearance, but he was actually better in "Car Wash" then in this campy horror flick. Actually, his scene is the only scary part in the film. You'll see.

The whole movie is pretty far fetched and if this "stuff" was at retailers everywhere, wouldn't there be other investigators and even FBI agents investigating this problem? I think Larry Cohen was basically trying to send a message to consumers who constantly eat and drink the same bad foods day after day (Starbucks coffee, donuts, burgers, french fries and of course ice cream). He's saying don't eat this crap as it can eventually kill you, just like "The Stuff". We get it, but it still doesn't make the movie any better.

I also think some of the scenes were removed from the film as well. Besides the ice cream truck scene in the trailer, I thought the poster scene with Jason's family in the kitchen on the floor being eaten by the Stuff was in the movie as well. It didn't show up on the DVD, so either it was cut or it never existed and I'm imagining things. A sequel to this movie could be interested if done right. The story of how the "stuff" is discovered would need to be changed of course, but an adequate sequel could be accomplished. Similar to how "The Blobl" was remade.

This movie is not really worth a look. If you must see it, just rent it. It's not even a horror cult classic like The Cube, Phantasm, The Howling or Donnie Darko. I gave it a 4/10 and that was probably being generous. If you're going to made a comical horror film, watch Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2 and take lots of notes. "The Stuff" isn't funny or scary. It's mostly a waste of time.