sleons Reviews

Scream VI (2023)

This franchise went from horror to action

[4/10 · 6 June 2023]

This is no longer a horror film. It's more of an action flick. It made the same transition as the resident evil games. I think It's harder to make a horror scene because you need to create a tension between images. Most of what happened in the film was predictable. Even in small incidents, like a kiss that's about to happen that gets interrupted right before the act.

It's an ok film, but the previous one was much better. The last one payed homage to the original being very meta. You can also tell that this was written by out of touch old writters. One of the film buffs in the movie is a big Dario Argento fan. Those films are very far away from this newer generations. Not only that, but their films can´t be found on streaming platforms, because there is no business to be made with the classics. Its all souless reeboots/sequels nowadays like scream VI.

Terrifier 2 (2022)

Too long

[5/10 · 25 October 2022]

The film has more than an extra hour that could have been cut off without a problem. The scenes drag on eternally. I think the first one was much better made. This one has fantastic gore, but it takes more than an hour to start. This happens on every moment of the film, to the point were it is exhausting.

After a certain time the disturbing scenes stop causing the desired effect. This is not good for the genre of this movie. Instead of being creepy and exageretad gore, you start wondering when the director is gonna end this. I didn't feel tortured from the violence, I felt it from the unnecesary dragging of every moment.

This could have easily been a classic, but it needs another pass through the editing room.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Terrible

[1/10 · 23 March 2022]

This is one of those horror movies were you are rooting for the killer. Tha protagonists make no effort to survive. I was glad everytime someone got killed. Don't watch this. This is dumb. Texas chainsaw massacre was never a great franchise, but this one is particularly bad. I'm disappointed because the script was written in part by Fede Alvarez, the guy who did don't breath and the evil dead remake.

The film also has this gentrification undertones which I didn't understand. I'm sure the people who made didn't understand it either.

Whoever worked on this project wasted a couple years of their life.

Halloween Kills (2021)

Dumb characters deserve to die

[6/10 · 25 October 2021]

Every character wants to die in the film. They always separate and whenever Michael Myers attacks they aren't holding their guns for some reason. The film has great gore and some cool twisted ideas. It's just hard to like some characters who are so dumb you actually are rooting for the killer. Michael Myers is the only competent character in the film.

Heroic Losers (2019)

This film is some propaganda about the nobility of poor people

[1/10 · 18 April 2020]

This film only has a compelling first act. There are absolutely no characters, in the sense that none of them are struggling with anything. Since they are poor there isn't a single decision that isn't done with the most ammount of dignitty and nobility. The film is filled with plot holes, there is a heist that is resolved in the stupidest way possible. Basically half of the film is this group of noble savages trying to figure out how to turn off a battery.

It Chapter Two (2019)

Computer generated abomination

[1/10 · 24 November 2019]

This film is hard to watch. There isn't a single "scary" scene that isn't pulled of with CG. It's hard to be afraid of a creature that belongs to the digital realm. The creators should only be afraid of how poorly this technology ages. Film that rely on this end up aging terribly (within a few years). The actor who portrays pennywise is great, I don't know why they used him so little in order to use this powerpoint created abomination. The suits in Hollywood have taken the fun away from making films. Now they are done surrounded by green or blue screens and doing everything in post. This film isn't scary, and that's something a horror film can never be. It has the stupidest comedy to "lower" the horror. The comedy and the horror doesn't work. Don't support films like this, don't be those test audiences that are shaping Hollywood into the computer generated disaster it has become.

Aquaman (2018)

The worst super hero movie ever

[1/10 · 21 October 2019]

This film is gonna age like bread not like wine. Even the bodies of the actors are done in CG. I can only imagine all the idiots involved in this film going crazy after three months locked up in a green studio. The cast and crew must have needed psicological help after doing this. Its imposible to act properly when you have to imagine everything. There is something of practical effects that makes even the cast believe whats going on. This is like Captain Sky and the world of tomorrow. A CG abomination that will be used as a tale to scare kids in the future. "Timmy if you don't behave I will lock you in a green screenstudio for three months", this puts the boogieman to shame. Congratulations on the crew not going postal.

It (I) (2017)

A computer generated abomination ofa film

[1/10 · 21 October 2019]

I hated this film after the opening scene. The actor who portrays It is great but Hollywood needs everything done on powerpoint so it ages like crap. Why use a great actor when we can create a clown with CG and take away any possibility of It being scary. This decision alone destroyed the film.

I also think a horror film that doesn't manage to be scary is a complete failure. It's like a comedic movie that isn't funny.

Parasite (2019)

One of the best films ever

[10/10 · 21 October 2019]

Parasite is one of those movies were you can sit down and let it surprise you. The script reminds me of Billy Wilder. It switches from comedy to drama because life is like that. The directing is flawless, Acting is compelling. But the most important thing is how it illustrates the sad society we've come to create in the XXI century, with no social mobility. It is fatalistic because bettering yourself nowadays is practically impossible.

This film must be seen by anyone who loves movies. It is one that will stand the test of time. Hollywood be worried with your generic formulas, Korea is the new power house and Parasite is the culminations of years of doing things right. American audiences should read subtitles for once. This movie will make you laugh and cry. The story falls into place like this perfect unpredictable puzzle. It's a must watch. A masterpiece.

Us (II) (2019)

One of the worst films I've seen

[1/10 · 21 October 2019]

This is one of those films were the protagonists are so stupid you are actually rooting for them to get killed.

It's a disaster when it comes to tone. It's also really hard to understand the themes of the movie. I also hated get out, but at least through out its development I wanted to see how Jordan Peele would solved it, which was in a really stupid way. The most ridicoulous thing about Us are the "scary kids", kids are easy to kill, there's nothing scary about them. They're fragile. Not exactly Michael Mayers types.

Us is bland and got me more anxious than any film I had ever seen. Can we stop pretending Jordan Peele is a good director? There isn't a memorable scene in any of his two movies. To his credit he attempts to be an author, he fails miserably, but he attempts it. The other aspects of the film like cinematography and production design are well crafted, but with such a bizarre and poor execution its impossible to have a good movie. Half way through I wanted to kill the family myself. Such imbeciles can't be walking around out there. They're a danger to society.

The Reef (2010)

floating

[1/10 · 28 July 2018]

After loosing their boat, the characters in this film need to swim a really long distance to get to an island. They basically just float around during the entire film. There is no sense of urgency to save their lives. The characters reacted so poorly, i actually had anxiety watching this one. In the end i was rooting for the shark

Everybody Wants Some!! (2016)

Not quite Dazed and Confused

[5/10 · 25 July 2016]

This film is Linklater doing a very similar formula to Dazed and Confused. The only difference is that this story is set in the 80's and all of the characters are sport jocks. Dazed and confused is a fantastic movie that talks about high school social system, where most of the characters are outcasts, stoners, etc. The fact that this film is centered around this really popular and successful baseball players, makes the characters less likable. They have no struggle. It specially lacks that sense of realness DC had. The film is also about nothing, in a very oriental/beat generation inspired narrative. But the nothingness in Dazed and Confused is filled with empathy. Even dough I wasn't brought up in the 70's it didn't feel that different from the high school years I experienced. But Everybody Wants Some isn't remarkable in any way in which its spiritual predecessor was. The fake feeling it has through out the entire film is completely evident. Even their clothes are always new. There is no sense that this characters are actually living this era, it just seems fake and ends up failing as a film that tries to capture one point in time (the 80's) and one moment in life (college).

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)

Iñárritu's worst film by far

[1/10 · 17 March 2015]

This film sucks in every way possible. The only thing that it has it's the fact it was made in a "continuous sequence shot". It lacks a central theme. By the end I was never sure if it talked about the creative process of artist or how society won't let you reinvent yourself as a creator, amongst thousands of other unfulfilled themes the script was never able to portray. One thing I am sure of, is this film is Iñárritu talking about himself in the most self centered way possible. I love all of his other films, and even though they are dramas with a longer running time than this one, Birdman is by far the toughest film he has.

I know it is impossible to criticize a film that all critics consider a master piece. This is just a modern example of the emperors new clothes.

Technique is there to tell a compelling story, without that it's pretty much useless. Hitchcock did a film with the same style, The Rope, for me, this is one of his worst films.

Birdman is considered a comedy, but Alejandro González Iñárritu isn't a funny man. I didn't laugh once throughout the film. I am a big fan of his work but have always hated listening to him. He wants to demonstrate how intellectually superior he is every time he speaks about his movies using the most complex language possible. Alejandro we get it, you are talented. Now stop being such a douche. Take a page from Woody Allen's book (not the having sex with your adopted Asian daughter part, but the part were you try to be more humble).

Also this might not be a popular opinion, but, Michael Keaton is a terrible actor. This is a role he was "born" to play, and he is as stale as watching a sock puppet perform. This was similar to Mickey Rourke on the Wrestler, the difference is Rourke was always fantastic and that role really fitted him, Keaton always sucked.

The Oscars have never really meant much since we've never known why they are given (sometimes they really deserved it, sometimes they owed it to them and sometimes it's just mere politics). I really think Foxcatcher was a superior film in every way possible and was robed by this over-hyped garbage.

Interstellar (2014)

Overrated and dumb

[1/10 · 16 March 2015]

Don't waste your time watching this film. Every interesting idea about the movie is thrown out the window half way through. I found fascinating the parallel story that's being told between the main character and his daughter. At some point Nolan no longer cares for this so he decides to use time however he pleases. The film is a huge contradiction. And the way it is solved is just confusing and pretending to be more complex than it actually is. They are on a mission that's more important than any personal issue, man kind's future depends solely on the success of it. But fø©k that, in this kind of Hollywood bullshit protagonists can't die (just because test audiences don't like that, it makes them really really sad) so against all odds McConaughey makes it back home. Hooray for him, and for all the idiots who need this kind of ending.

Mark my words... by the time Matt Damon appears you will be compelled to kick Christopher Nolan right in the balls.

I read that they were advised by physicist in order to be "scientifically accurate". I'm sure every accurate idea came from other films like 2001, event horizon, etc. Interstellar is a cash grab. If you spent your money on this be sure to check on your butt hole. Christopher Nolan might have already had his way with you. My asshole is intact because I torrented this bad boy. Suck on that film industry!

Escape from Tomorrow (2013)

Awesome personal film about family issues in happy land

[10/10 · 27 October 2013]

I loved this film. It doesn't tell a conventional narrative but it comes from the childhood memories of the director, Randy Moore. It is a film of symbolism and contrast between princesses and witches, happiness and tragedy and finally adulthood and childhood.

There is something romantic about shooting the film you want without any permits. Nowadays a creator is subject to a bunch of paperwork that gets in the way of the movie you actually want to make. This film is strange but I found it to be deep. It talks about the insides of this made up land in which you are "forced" to be happy. Where all this adult problems shouldn't exist (adultery, pedophilia, unemployment).

I highly recommend it. I find similarities with David Lynch's Ereaserhead, since it's the director's first film and it is a surreal movie that comes from memories, dreams and nightmares.

Breaking Bad (2008–2013)

WATCH IT!!! The hype is real

[10/10 · 22 September 2013]

Breaking Bad is a work of art. It is always going somewhere. It seems that from the beginning they planned it to be five seasons long because everything falls into place and everything is pointing towards an inevitable ending.

Every character in the show is fantastic. The worst ones (as in antagonistic) are filled with redeeming qualities, and also the protagonists are filled with flaws. They all change throughout the series and this is also something that makes it worth watching. This makes your allegiance towards them change, and having such a strong arch makes even some of the secondary characters as complex as some of the best you've seen on film.

It has a tendency to always go in the direction you never expected, but this always works better for the story and it fits into place with more grace than you've ever imagined.

It took me a while to start watching it because going through a TV series is like starting a relationship. You're going to be seeing this for a good amount of time and it is worth thinking before jumping into it, but believe me this is it. It's the pinnacle of the golden age of television. Enjoy every second. I just wish I could watch it for the first time again and know nothing of what's going to happen.

The Simpsons (1989– )

Epic and memorable but also a terrible sellout

[8/10 · 20 September 2013]

The Simpsons is probably the smartest show in television. That is if you've only seen the first half seasons of the show. The new seasons are terrible. They stopped being smart and in order to compete with shows that are more aggressive (like South Park) or random (like every show on adult swim) they've destroyed it.

When I was a kid the Simpsons payed homage to some of the most brilliant movies, books, music. I learned about Stanley Kubrik, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Beatles, etc. Nowadays they pay homage to Transformers and Lindsay Lohan. I think this is a small example that shows what has happened to them. I hope these people at fox stop producing it. Because the Simpsons were impeccable. But if they continue the legacy will vanish.

Like everything great on the planet it is important to know when to call it quits. Simpsons I think your time has come (it came like ten years, ago but who's counting)

Only God Forgives (2013)

Sadly underrated

[10/10 · 29 July 2013]

This movie suffers the same sad situation as Spring Breakers. The fact that Ryan Gosling stars in it makes audiences believe their in for a conventional blockbuster.

The film is very contemplative and slow paced. It is stylish and complex, yet the story manages to be extremely simple. I think OGF is a very modern film, and in a way it's one of those movies that inherits a lot from Gaspar Noé's Enter the Void. It has a lot of similarities with Noe's film, Bangkok is a city with fantastic aesthetics to tell this tale (as Tokyo has the psychedelic feel Noe needed for ETV). The cinematography and Production Design work hand in hand with the director to create one of the most visually stunning films you will ever see. Nicolas Winding Refn is one of the active directors to follow. From what I've seen all his movies guarantee a unique voice. That's what makes a filmmaker stand out from the rest, developing a style.

The Conjuring (2013)

No charm

[3/10 · 21 July 2013]

The first half of the movie has great directing technique, half way through the film it doesn't even have that. A horror piece can't simply rely on really cheap scares like frightening you with loud sounds.

The story is nothing impressive and it's filled with plot holes.

The funniest part of the film is when they cannot perform an exorcism because they need proof to show in order for the catholic church to allow it. The Vatican has ALWAYS relied on the scientific method to demonstrate that what they say is not utterly bullshit.

I think this film becomes comical at some point. A great deal of the audience members were laughing at the ridiculous violence portrayed.

I truly believe that the good reviews are done by critics that the production was able to please by inviting them to premieres, etc. I'm a real horror fan and this is a very dull movie. I believe if they wanted to do a film like this, they should have done something with an extreme level of violence. No one dies in the film!

Lastly I ask you two questions: Why the hell is this set during the 70s? This just adds to the level of cheesiness (if there is such a term) that this movie achieves. And, should there be allowed a disclaimer at the beginning of fiction pieces that says that the story portrayed is based on true events? Sorry to say this guys but there are no demons, ghosts, ghouls, goblins, etc. This kind of claim makes ignorant people believe that this crap is actually out there. Look at the wars in the world, kidnap, executions, etc. We should only be afraid of our fellow men; that, and crappy horror films like this one.

Biutiful (2010)

An ode to death by Iñárritu

[10/10 · 23 March 2013]

This is one of the most impressive movies I've ever seen on the topic of death. It is profound and dramatic. Uxbal, Javier Bardem, is the father of two little kids, he is dying of cancer. The movie talks about his struggle to leave his daughter and son in good hands.

It took me two times watching it to understand it for what it was, a work of art. Iñárritu puts its very unique style into every narrative decision the film makes. The camera is hand-held and Rodrigo Prieto's cinematography is impeccable.

As usual in every Alejandro González Iñárritu film there are three stories that unite. But instead of an accident or a terrible incident, what unites this story is Uxbal's desperate need to make ends meet, also his compassion towards others. Javier Bardem is the Marlon Brando of our generation, this is a bold statement but it's completely true. The big problem with acknowledging his talent is that most of his work is in Spanish and living in such an English based film era most of the world doesn't get the chance to see this genius perform.

I've heard criticism towards the amount of stories that unite in this film because it dilutes Uxbal's tragedy. I don't believe that to be true. All of the stories support the central theme of the movie, death.

If you want to see a work of art that makes you think and challenges us as audience with all it's bitterness, rawness but most of all heart on the subject of loosing the ones you love and not knowing what will happen to them once we die, watch this film.

Raw Deal: A Question of Consent (2001)

Ambiguity in a really complex issue

[10/10 · 6 November 2012]

This is a fantastic documentary on a case of an alleged rape in a frat house. It is so controversial because of its ambiguity.

I have a certain opinion on the incidents portrayed in this film, but it is important for the viewer to interpret it as he pleases.

Although I'm sure the creator of this film must have an opinion of his own, the interesting thing about the final outcome is that any interpretation can be backed up by the material gathered here.

Be warned this documentary can be hard to watch at times. The footage used through out most of the film is the one the frat members took during a party were the incident took place.

The Others (2001)

What an awful ending

[1/10 · 1 July 2012]

This movie is terrible!!!

Alejandro Amenabar is one of the biggest talents in Spanish film but the ending to this flick is unacceptable.

The movie ends when the main characters realize that they are dead. I think you could end any movie this way.

Why think of a smart ending when you could end all movies with the characters realizing they're dead? You could either do this or make them realize that they were sleeping.

Think about it Saving private Ryan: Tom hanks was sleeping, he never went to fight WWII.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Only for peasants!

[1/10 · 11 April 2012]

I love horror movies and I recently had the chance to watch this one. It is admirable to make a low budget film a main stream thing. I think this film is an achievement in its publicity. But as a movie it's a complete piece of crap. In order for you to be scared by this movie you must be like a XII century peasant.

Nothing really happens in the film. If you are afraid of people standing in a corner you'll be pissing your pants at the end. Unfortunately I need something happening for a horror movie to work its magic on me. Crappy cinematography just doesn't cut it for me.

note: I also hate Paranormal Activity. In both cases (PA and BWP) I've met people who think they are real documentaries (this people are complete morons).

The Artist (I) (2011)

The Best movie of the year!!!!

[10/10 · 17 February 2012]

This is by far the greatest movie of the year. I want to be a film maker and I can say that I felt absolutely jealous of the creator of this feature after watching it. The use of sound is magnificent. Jean Dujardin is a fantastic actor. And the story is so well written I cried through out the hole movie. It is a tribute to film in its purest form. When film language began there wasn't any sound and I've always thought image is the most elegant way to tell a story. Soap operas relate on dialogue to tell you what's going on, and that's why I've always thought their story telling is vulgar. This is the opposite side of the spectrum. I believe you should see this film even if you think that a "silent" and black and white film isn't interesting. You won't be disappointed. It's funny, engaging, deep, meaningful and subtle.

Don't Look Now (1973)

I can't believe all the good reviews

[1/10 · 7 August 2011]

This movie is awful. If you suffer from insomnia you should definitely give this picture a try, you will get cured. The sound is probably one of the worst features of the film, you will definitely need subtitles in order to understand the super saturated dialogs.

The movie begins when a couple losses their daughter due to parental negligence. The death of the little girl and the finding of the body must be one of the most dramatical scenes i have ever seen. A couple of months go by and this people are living in Venice. After you've seen an hour and a half you realize that they left their ONLY child alone in boarding school (great parenting!!!).