jarius Reviews

Missione finale (1988)

North Korean action filtered through the Italian porn industry

[1/10 · 19 January 2006]

I can't believe that there actually are five other people who have seen and bothered to rate this film. I saw It a few years ago at the Gothenburg Film Festival in their section for Korean film and had a blast.

The story in short: Some kind of evil people, I forget who or why, have found out a way to extract bodily fluids from the base of the brain of unsuspecting victims. This fluid is then used for some reason or another. A couple of western heroes have to stop this in true 80's action style, big explosions and violence ensue.

The only real reason to see this extreme turkey is that it is actually financed by the North Korean state! True! They apparently gave money to an Italian director who brought along what must be a bunch of Italian porn stars and tried to make an action extravaganza. Just an example: There is a car chase, but it really isn't that exciting since they drive around on an empty high way (I doubt there are that many vehicles in the country to begin with) and the ancient cars sway like they hadn't even heard of suspension and could topple over at any time. Also the cars top speed seems to be 50 kph at the most so you could probably catch them with your bike. This is the only film ever where you have people running around showing up outdated communist hardware and where you have so many hilarious moments of unintended homo eroticism and a female porn star proving why they never, ever even try to act in porno.

Seriously, this is so bad it's good but yet still gives you angst for seeing it. Actually, when I think about it, you should see it. If you can.

The Island (2005)

End the terror of Bay

[3/10 · 24 September 2005]

Such a stupid film. Simply feeble. Someone should stop Bay from directing anything ever again. Plot holes? Could make a great drinking game. Take a shot of vodka for every inconsistency you find. At least you'll pass out before the end.

I suppose Ewan got lots and lots of cold, hard cash for his efforts. That's good. Sean Bean, underused as always. But Michael Duncan Clark. Why do the directors keep misusing him? First his all too brief appearance in Sin City and now this. Cash for him too I suppose. And Scarlett. Looking good. As usual.

I just felt insulted by this film. It deserved to bomb. It really did.

Predator (1987)

Simply scary

[8/10 · 9 August 2004]

*some spoilers*

I saw Predator for the first time back in the late 80´s. And I must say that it scared me half to death. It was so effective and, at that time, unique that I could hardly believe my eyes. Hold in mind that I was about 14 at the time but still, the memory lingers on. Since then the film has been shown over and over again on tv so I really can´t judge whether it has aged well or not. You really can´t be scared when you know what´s coming.

I suppose that like with everything else there has come so many other films copying the style of the Predator so that anyone seeing this for the first time might not be as impressed as I was some 15 years ago.

And just a comment for the guy who thought the scene where one of the marines chooses to meet the predator with his knife, instead of using the very weapons that have been totally inadequate during their previous encounters. I don´t claim to be an expert but it seems to me that the guy knows he is going to die a horrible death. So he challenges the Predator to meet him "mano a mano". To go out like a man so to speak. This is a macho film so it sounds reasonable to me. Or maybe he just lost his mind? Who knows, it´s still pretty good stuff.

Sure it´s trash, made on a low budget and so forth. But still, it´s pretty good trash.

Harrison's Flowers (2000)

Its a matter of feeling

[8/10 · 24 November 2003]

I just saw "Welcome to Sarajevo", a film that got a lot of press and positive remarks when it came out. I only suspect that much of the press was based on the fact that it came out only a couple of years after the end of that terrible war in Bosnia.

Just as in "Welcome" this film also depicts the life of journalists, trying to understand and convey the happenings in a country once believed to be almost western. (Which, I suspect, is the reason that it had such an impact on the western psyche.) As everbody else has pointed out this is where the best characters are found, especially Adrian Brodys character.

Several others have already pointed out that the main story revolving around a lost love and an heroic wife trying to save her husband is really awkward. But since you need somekind of story, that might just as well be it. I saw this film a second time just recently and actually managed to ignore the plot and focuse on the description of the madness that was eastern Croatia in the early 1990´s.

This film has an incredible feeling, the settings, the photography and the score makes it come really close to being in an actual war. I cant really praise this enough. Compared to "Welcome" this film hits you in the guts as it shows the brutality of urban warfare and the senseless killings that occur in all wars.

Other films about Bosnia that are recommended if you like this one, "No mans land", "Pretty Village, Pretty fire" and "Savior". And why not give "Welcome" a chance too.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Well, it didn´t suck.

[6/10 · 13 November 2003]

Ok, what can I say. The second film was at times laughable. It had bad acting, poor scripting and silly speeches that made me laugh out loud.

This one has less silly speeches, good action but still suffers of bad acting. Laurence Fishburn must have been addicted to valium while shooting his scenes. So, it is full of cliches but it is still an ok film. I recommend you rent it on DVD.

The Wachowski brothers turned out to be pretty uninteresting filmmakers in the end. Sad, it seemed for a while that they might have something going on.

Ghosts of Mars (2001)

Please, no more.

[26 September 2003]

I can only say this: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE stop making more junk. Carpenter, that very name carries the inner meaning of shame. Cavemen wearing some kind of prehistoric hides and covered in bodypaint? Such imagination, such terror. This is simply too awful to even comment.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

Not the greatest film of all time.

[6/10 · 28 May 2003]

I have to admit that when I first went to see Matrix I wasn´t really that impressed by the film. I had just seen Dark City, a truly intelligent film. A couple of years later I had to rent Matrix because my girlfriend had missed it and this time I finally realized that Matrix was a great action film and truly entertaining. It may even be called innovative. So I had some hopes for Reloaded.

I realize that the Wachowski brothers felt the need to explain their universe in this film. I also realize that they had an need for trying to explain the motives of the main characters but still. Reloaded has some great action and amazing effects but it is also an extremely uneven film. It felt like at least half of the film was made up of endless and pointless monologues, (Morpheus was worst, talk about pretentious.)I also have a huge problem with this kind of parodichal acting, especially when you have a corny dialogue. And believe me, it really is corny.

I have a degree in philosophy and always find the kind of fake philosophy that Reloaded represents as a bit naive and funny. But one wonders why they made such a fuss about the philosophical aspects of the story when it is clearly made to entertain teenagers? The 16 year old I went to see Reloaded with simply didn´t have a clue what they where talking about. And when it comes to alienating your audience, that might be the worst thing you can do.

And when it comes to suspense, how exciting is it with an character, Neo in this case, who simply can´t lose? And in this film he really is the Matrix version of Superman.

I have to say that my expectations are considerably lower for the next outing.

The Lost Boys (1987)

Silly fun.

[7/10 · 9 January 2003]

I just saw this "Teen classic" on tv. I had to get up at 7 to go to work but I still stayed up until 1 o´clock in the morning to see this trip down memory lane. California in the 80´s seems to have been such a fun place. All those outrageous clothes and bombastic music! We have to wait for another period of cultural breakdown in California until we get another one of these fantastically silly films!

Two thumbs up! It´s truly not art, but it´s period entertainment of the higher order.

Southern Comfort (1981)

Simply fantastic!

[9/10 · 9 January 2003]

Background: A group of national guardsmen on a simple training exercise. Bad things start happening, caused by the stupidity of the arrogant soldiers. Who is the enemy, why do they try to kill the soldiers? The hunt is on...

I love this film! It is creepy, scary and has an fantastic atmosphere. It is set in a fantastic environment, the Louisiana swaps, that gives it an outlandish, almost out of this world, kind of atmosphere. There is an almost colourless feel to the scenery and the anonymity of the pursuers make this an extremely suspenceful film.

But what really makes this film so fantastic is the incredible soundtrack signed Ry Cooder! Is the man a genius or what? He combines creol music and the violence in the film in a way that makes Bueno Vista Social Club seem dull. ¨ Ok, some of the acting is subpar and Walter Hill could have found some more charismatic actors, but still.

I own one DVD and this is it. Judge for yourself.

But one point: My girlfriend did not like the film. She asked the following question: "Why are the creol always evil?"

Pleasantville (1998)

A nice, somewhat tame, film that seems to make people think.

[8/10 · 2 July 2002]

I truly enjoyed this film and it´s light social commentary. As I understand it the film is about the fact that accepting change and diversity is something valuable. The main point is that confronting your own prejudices and accepting the diversity in our lives make it so much easier to enjoy and appreciate.

The fact is that every society throughout human history that has stopped evolving, and focused on preserving the Status Quo, has broken down. This is especially true to societies that refuse to accept new ideas and intellectual independence. And as I understand it, keeping the social Status Quo and protecting an abstract idea called "the American way of life" was the main goal of the 50´s U.S. culture. Remember that this was a time in U.S. history when people were punished for their ideals and thoughts via the oppressive structure called McCarthyism.

In this, very light and in my opinion surprisingly tame, film this is shown in the way people react to the coloureds, i.e. the people who start to brake social conventions. And it is not until the people of Pleasantville start accepting change that they can see the problems in their society.

Now I have to admit that I have trouble understanding all aspects of U.S. culture. That is why I have a hard time understanding the critique that some commentators have posted against this film. I know that, especially in the U.S., sexuality and rebellion against social tabu´s is a touchy subject.

But that is what makes this a good film, it actually manages to make people think and that is all too rare in contemporary American cinema.

Mystery Men (1999)

Could have been so much better.

[5/10 · 25 June 2002]

This is a silly film. It has it´s good moments but still you know that this could have been so much better. It´s silly fun and as always, Ben Stiller owns the scene.

But come on: The Fart-Man thing, it has been done before...

Homicide: Life on the Street (1993–1999)

True crime.

[9/10 · 11 June 2002]

I have never been a big fan of police serials, but this is my all time favourite. I have nothing to add to the earlier comments, other than that in a time with complicated racial conflicts, poverty induced crime and the problems stemming from social inequality, this show tried to comment on the real problems facing the modern society.

And it was exciting too.

The Wedding Singer (1998)

A surprise...

[7/10 · 22 May 2002]

Adam Sandler seems to be a very popular guy in America. It seems that the Americans truly adore men that portray overgrown kids and act like idiots for 90 minutes. With the exception of, for instance, ´There is something about Mary´ I have yet to laugh once while watching these exercises in psychological torture. But...

I actually liked the Wedding Singer. I don´t know how, but Adam Sandler managed to make this film funny and even lovable. I suppose it is the simple fact that he plays an ordinary guy and the jokes aren´t of the usual ´man-falls-on-womans-breasts´ kind.

I have no idea why, but I actually would give this 6/10. I rented it for 1$ and, to my great surprise, it was worth it.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)

Simply no good.

[2/10 · 15 May 2002]

Even considering my reasonably low expectations this film managed to disappoint me. I sometimes enjoy watching Star Trek on TV. It is OK entertainment, but come on! This is just another long TV-episode that the greedy people of the Star Trek enterprise attempt to pass on as an real film. It sadly has neither the story or even the budget to be an actual film. They have simply stretched the shallow script into oblivion. If you haven´t followed the TV-series you will not even be able to understand what the characters are all about.

At least the first Star Trek films, with the excellent ´Wrath of Khan´ at the helm, were real movies made for the silver screen. This is just the cinematic version of high-way robbery! I regret paying good money to rent this.

Only for the devoted. (and even then only for those obsessed with Star Trek)

Jacob's Ladder (I) (1990)

Confusing, bizarre but still fantastic.

[7/10 · 14 May 2002]

Since so many have already posted excellent comments I will just add that this is a film that I have carried with me since I first saw it back in 1990. The images and the overall tone of this brilliant shocker deserves to be seen by all fans of great psychological thrillers.

Truly recommendable!

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Good, but not nr 3 on the all time list.

[8/10 · 25 April 2002]

Let me start by pointing out that this is a good action/ adventure/ fantasy film, but it does have it´s flaws.

I read Tolkien in my teens and was really excited by the his work. I have since then read his books over again and do still find them enjoyable. I had no real expectations when I went to see the first part of the upcoming trilogy. I was at first truly impressed but I also felt that something was missing. I could just not put my finger to it.

After seeing the film I started to think about what I really thought of it. My humble conclusion was that while it is a technically brilliant and visually impressive film it lacks in character depth. If you think about you have to agree. The thing that makes Tolkiens work so much better than every other fantasy is that he gives a great deal of effort to explain and develop the characters and their motives.

I do realise that it is impossible to have long voice-overs to explain every single character that appears in the film but it also means that you don´t get the kind of emotional attachment to the characters as one would need to really feel immersed in this great tale. Now you don´t really care whether somebody lives or dies. And this is especially true when it comes to the Orchs, Saruman and Gollum.

The Orchs are reduced to a homogenous group that get killed in the dozens. It seems that these "fierce" creatures are so weak that the only way they can overpower the heroes is by huge numbers. But what I am most confused over is that Sarumans action are hardly explained. Why he acts the way he does and how it comes that he develops the way he does. And don´t get me started on Gollum. When I saw this film with friends (who have not read the books) they all wondered over what that creep was all about.

It´s not a bad film, but I think that in a couple of years it´s position as the third best film of all time will not be as obvious as it seems today.

Starship Troopers (1997)

Smart?

[7/10 · 24 April 2002]

I agree that this must be a great ironic/satiric anti-war film. It combines good special effects with great action. And not to forget: some very good looking people. (forget about the acting which is, not great...) Verhoeven comments on the totalitarian society that might come to pass if we lose our respect for human life and democracy.

Or maybe not? This might also be the misguided attempt of some kind of a fascist dutch guy who misses the good old days of the 1940´s. But to be honest, I can hardly imagine that this is anything else than the misunderstood anti totalitarian film that it seems to be. If you have seen Robocop you must agree.

Death comes in the shape of a bug.

American Pie (1999)

Only for boys going through the painful process of puberty.

[3/10 · 22 April 2002]

Maybe I am too old for this? (I am 26.) The sad fact is that the only character that I found somewhat funny was the poor father trying to teach his son about boys and girls.

As always with teen movies, this is a predominately male affair with the female gender degraded to a simple sex object. If you like juvenile humor then this must be a masterpiece. Everybody else should (and probably you already have) avoid this one.

Predictable.

Life of Brian (1979)

Brains and jokes.

[10/10 · 19 April 2002]

First a word of warning for those that have not had the pleasure of seeing this fantastic film. It needs quite a bit of historical/religious and political knowledge. But give it a chance, it has something for everyone.

The thing that I love about Monthy Python in general is that they manage to make fantastic comedy that still makes great social commentary. I would even claim that the most effective way to comment on social events is to joke about it. Just think about what Charlie Chaplin did with Hitler!

I must admit that a lot of the stuff that Monthy Python did has aged very badly, especially the TV-series. And let´s face it, the TV-series didn´t make much sense outside of Britain from the start either since most of the jokes are built around a contemporary Britain of the 70´s. I was a toddler at the time of the TV-series so it makes even less sense to me. BUT, this is NOT true of Life of Brian and the other Python films, with the exception of The Meaning of Life.

In Life of Brian the Pythons manage to comment on everything that makes us tick. That is also why it is so great, you laugh about stuff that in reality is plain cruel. It covers everything from Witch hunts to the death penalty. And most importantly, Bible-nuts, political opportunist and every type of follow-the-leader types should not watch this film. You might face the risk of seeing yourself ridiculed.

But since I am writing this in the time of the second Intifata I would also dare to make the statement that you can actually see a glimpse of what is happening on the West bank. The stupidity and brutality of the governing power and the destructive banality of the "freedom fighters".

I love it.

City of Angels (1998)

So terrible that it´s like being in hell!

[1/10 · 16 April 2002]

I am a pretty tolerant guy. I can watch almost everything and still find it worth my time. Call me pretentious but I actually like drama and can even enjoy romantic nonsense (Jennifer Aniston anyone?). Therefore you could figure that the best of both worlds would be to take your girlfriend to a film that you hope combines them both.

Well, I would just like to say that this horrible, sentimental garbage is more likely to be used as torture by some Third World dictator than being the film that saves or makes your love life. Watching this made me feel like a victim of a nuclear disaster.

Nicholas Cage, an all time favorite, must still feel the shame of being connected to this drivel. It´s been a few years, but I still want my money back!!!

A Simple Plan (1998)

Raimis masterpiece.

[8/10 · 18 March 2002]

When you think about what kind of productions our friend Sam Raimi has been involved in through the years, you can´t believe that he has managed to put together such a wonderful film! It´s a slowpaced and character driven film that focuses on the behavior of ordinary people who have to take an ethical stand, e.g. get those bucks or do the right thing.

The acting is overall great, especially between Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton. The story is fixed on what might happen when you have to choose between friendship, brotherhood and a whole lot of money. Here the choice is taken beyond the theoretical and I have to say that Raimi manages to give life not only to the story but also, most importantly, to the characters. I love the way Raimi shows how money can make people change and I have nothing else than praise for the overall performance of all involved.

Even if the ´Evil Dead´-trilogy has attracted an cult following this must be Raimis true masterpiece. It just goes to show that even a devoted ´B-movie´master can turn around and surprise everybody.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

Fantastically paranoid!

[9/10 · 18 March 2002]

I love this film! The ´70s must have been the greatest decade in american cinema! (I happen to live door-to-door with a cinema that frequently shows classic films like this, and I end up going there a couple of times a week. And mostly end up renting, for a quarter of the price, the bad Hollywood films that plague the European cinemas.)

Just think about what great films the ´70s gave us, everything from ´The French Connection´ to Star Wars´. Body Snatchers feels like a typical ´70s thriller, down- to- earth storytelling with a natural feeling of reality. What´s so special about this Science fiction classic is that it manages to give an believable portrait of how easy it is for us to turn a blind eye. Even when people change over night, (which they do here thanks to the body snatchers) we hardly bother to wonder why.

It doesn´t take a genius to draw parallels to the totalitarian ideologies that plagued the ´70s, everything from the Soviet Union to Pinochets Chile. But what´s so typically ´70s, and in turn makes this a great social portrait, is that they didn´t seem to be obsessed with making films that avoided being scary and uncomfortable. Here you can truly feel the paranoia, Donald Sutherland gives an great performance, and the terror of the characters.

What gives this film a slot in my top ten science fiction/thriller is the fantastic ending. Even if your not used to the slow pace and the greyish tones, give it a chance. When you see the last scene you will know what I´m talking about!

The Thing (1982)

Scary, scary, scary...

[8/10 · 25 February 2002]

Although many claim this film to be a true B-movie it is actually a great film filled with suspense and action. I love this one, I have always been a sucker for creepy films but this has it all. The story combines psychological effects as well as OK special effects which are used in a pretty damn scary way!

You could make the argument that this is just another alien rip-off placing the characters in an unescapable environment. But that is just the thing! The alternatives given to the characters are simple: Freezing your brains out or facing the monster. This is just the stuff to give you the creeps and this film truly does that.

This is a scary ride all the way from the beginning to the end. And after all, how many so called "sci-fi horror" flicks gives you that?

True Romance (1993)

Great fun

[8/10 · 15 February 2002]

This is one of my all-time favourites. This is the kind of film that guys love and girls hate. It is loud, it is cool and it is truly entertaining.

This is maybe the ultimate 90´s film, it has everything that was cool in the 90´s: Action, cool characters, graphic violence and humour that consist of cool remarks and a ironic attitude. This is in short the type of film that flooded the market after the success of ´Reservoir Dogs´ and ´Pulp Fiction´. ´The usual suspects´alongside the Tarantino classics might be both smarter and, in the end, more durable films but this is the idiots variant and a great ride.

I can hardly think that we will see this type of film in the 00´s but if you have/want to see what was cool in the 90´s and only have time for two films I would suggest renting this one and Pulp Fiction.

Schindler's List (1993)

A lesson in human nature and history.

[8/10 · 15 February 2002]

We need more films like this, there can never be too many. The history of mankind is filled with gruesome crimes that too many have forgotten but hopefully we will not forget the Holocaust. In the next ten years we will lose most of the people that have a personal memory of the horrible ordeal that was WWII. At the same time we have a growing number of historical revisionists trying to rewrite history. (The revisionists are a part of "historical school" trying to deny the existence of the holocaust.)

As a film this is not a perfect one. In truth it is maybe a 7/10 but what makes it important is that it makes an important moral/ethical/historical discussion easily accessible. Even the most uninterested student of history can take in the importance of remembering just how horribly cruel we humans can be. But it also shows that we can all make a stand for what we think is right and not only for what is right for us. The core of the entire story just shows that in times of cruelty, humanity can still prevail.

This is the final proof that Spielberg is a man with a big heart, not only a boy who loves fantasy.