James-Durham Reviews

The Birds (1963)

History isnt kind to a film's special effects

[24 September 2000]

Histroy hasn't been especially kind to this film with regards to the outdated special effects but look beyond that for a brief second and one can truly see the horror that is apprent in this film.

Basically put, I dont know how to describe Hitchcock's films.

Psycho was terrifying......but why......I cant really say. A lot of it was to do with its cinematography and its being shot in black and white, but one of the things that made The Birds such a surreal horrer film was what it lacked ........a musical score.

I never thought I could be scared of the gradual build up of a bunch of ravens on a childrens playground set, but the way Hitchcock shows it is nothing short of genius. The scene of the man in his house with his eyes pecked out also works well as a prelude for things to come

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Not as good as the other two

[16 September 2000]

I didnt like this film as much as they other two basically because it was the middle of a trilogy. We were left with too much to hope for with Return of the Jedi (which incidentally is why I think most people dislike Jedi the most).

The assertions that the lightsaber duel in this was the best sword fight in movie history would probably be true if you hadnt already seen Princess Bride. However other parts that irked me about this one is the fact that Hamil seems to have aged quite considerably going into this film.. It was a pretty big jump from New Hope to this and I just dont believe it stacks up next to New Hope.....especially without Guiness playing a major role.

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)

Probably the best of the series

[16 September 2000]

I for one was not as impressed with Phantom Menace as what everyone else was, and to attempt to compare it to the original Star Wars blockbuster is to compare chalk with cheese.

This film highlights the ability of one person with vision to manifest something remarkable that has, for twenty years now, defined the way movies (and their soundtracks) have been made.

This movie begins in a period where a civil war is occurring between the Galactic Empire and..............man....you know the rest

It will be too easy to say what is good about this film........what is bad about it?

If you try real hard you might be able to find something, possibly the lightsaber duel could have been better, but that would possibly be about it. What is easier to do is to compare it with Phantom menace and basically say what is better about it than its well........pretty woeful counterpart. Story, acting etc.....

The problem with making a star wars film nowadays, apart from the ludicrous expectations being put upon Lucas and co, is the fact that any actor, especially those in minor roles, will be trying to make as much an attempt as possible to highlight the fact that they are in a Star Wars film. It was obvious with the pod race scene in Phantom menace, the crowd members were practically cheering TO THE CAMERA!!!!!!! And dont get me started on Samuel L Jackson.............even Yoda wanted to make sure he got his fair share in

Basically you cant say anything about this film expect that it is possibly THE greatest film ever made.

Godzilla (I) (1998)

An insult to the big-fella

[29 August 2000]

I think the thing I enjoyed most about Godzilla (1985) was the fact that the big-fella was completely indestructible and hell bent on simply knocking sh*&&^ over and destroying things indiscriminately. What Emmerich has given us here is an iguana that somehow, by being exposed to some nuclear dust whilst in-vitro, somehow managed o grow into a 400 foot tall dinosaur that is scared sh*&%tless of anything the military was willing to throw at it.

Remember in 1985, when Godzilla rises out of the water and, while the Japanese launch everything except the kitchen sink at him, he simply stands there copping the hits until he casually decides to gracefully thunder forward and start whoopin some serious Japanese hide. Man that was impressive. You actually are on his side the entire movie..........hahahah especially when he blows up the Russian sub. Anyway back to this film.

Emmerich's Godzilla acts the way any animal would act in a strange environment - scared. I think what the producers were trying to do was give us a...ahem...realistic edge to this film, whose entire ethos is supposed to be based on the unbelievable.

So anyway Godzilla manages to creep into some American city where we have the pathetically nerdy looking Mathew Broderick and the obligatory love interest story being developed almost straight away. And Harry Shearer? The way he announces the presence of this dinosaur is like he is announcing the prize for the contestants after a game of jeopardy (how the hell does he get, to use his exact words Garrrrrrrrd-zilla, from what was clearly being referred to as Gojira.

This movie did not develop any suspense or terror in u the viewer at all. The horribly sad thing is that this movie could have been so good if they did it similar to the way the original was done, but maybe throw in King Kong or Gamera to fun things up a bit.

Overall this movie is let down by the fact that Godzilla doesnt have any of the personality he did in the originals (he's simply a big lizard in this one) and well........it just plain sucked. Watch out too for the Jurassic park ripoff in the building and the woeful ending!!!!!!!!!!

Glory (1989)

The greatest movie ever

[21 August 2000]

I mean how in gods name does a cinematographer get the effect that Freddie Francis did? One of the tricks with any of these things is forgetting what you think is good and doing something that you think the audience will think is good.

From the beginning scene when Shaw says charge Bayonets, I knew this was going to be good. The other good thing about this film was that we just saw enough of the confederate army to know they existed.........and that was all we needed. For example, in Gettysburg, I didnt know who the hell I was barracking for at the end of it....oh yeah it was cr**p too (they tried to fit way too much in and I liken the actor roles in that film to the substitutes on a bench during a footy game who finally get a run).

Ok so what else was great about this film. The screenplay, the story, the actors, especially the hundreds of African American extras who played the soldiers of the 54th Massachusets. You really begin to bond with them right from the start when Shaw is inspecting them and, with their wide smiles, ask simple questions like 'How we look Colonel?' 'We gonna woop the sesesh?' 'When do we get the blue suit?'.

I dont care what people say, I think Broderick played his role perfectly. He's almost unrecognisable in his role and has an air of maturity around him that you dont see in any of his other films (which all sucked).

Cary Elwes gets the best scenes though....especially in Fort Wagner when he's waving his sword above his head an giving the most inspiring war cry you'll ever see. The good thing was is that his character was easily likeable and when we see him kicking a** during the battles, you cant help but cheer him, and the rest of them on.

Congratulations to Zwick for the way he ended the battle.....it was poignant in respects but completely in taste......especially since we all know what happens.

Coupled with the score, Washington's performance, and Freeman, Braugher (is it just me, or does he play a waif in almost every film he is in?) and Kennedy, this movie is not one to be missed.

10/10 Simply because my mind does not have the capacity to think how this film could have been better......

However.....When Shaw is admonishing the Quartermaster.....doesnt it look like he keeps peering down at the desk to read his lines?

In that case the film gets 9.9 recurring

The Patriot (2000)

Load of hyped up grotesque bulls**t!

[11 August 2000]

Oh dear oh dear

Geez, thank god the Yanks had Mel Gibson on their side otherwise the entire course of histroy could (heaven forbid) be different!

Whilst I am not going to complain about this movie's historical inaccuracy, their are other SERIOUS problems with this movie that must be addressed. May contain *spoilers*

For starters, we are lead to believe almost immediately that the American war of independence was an act that started purely by an oppressed nation hell bent on ridding themselves on the ferocious tyranny of the Naz........woops British

When we see Mel Gibson and his children walk outside and the big regalla is happening, Im quite happy that the scriptwriters made sure the men burning those two mannequins called out 'Hang King George'.........to make sure that we new they were doing something in line with the overexaggerated load of patriotic fervour surrounding the whole film (I think he just had a fetish for burning things actually). Oh yeah, dont forget when Mel Gibson tries his hand at comedy when calling out 'All hail King George' and were made present to a bunch of hollywood nobodys, each wanting to make sure they make the most of their limited camera time by acting truly upset by the comments made by Gibson. The proceeding constant references to how the Redcoats 'Deserve' to die, when each of those drunken yobbos lined up to answer their calling made me almost sick.

Im sure Isaacs character would really have been scared when Gibson goes 'before this war is over Im going to kill you' .........Im surprised he was able to contain himself

Oh dear and what else narked me about this film.............

The speech given by the girl in the church (mind you she wont be giving too many more)

The way the British Soldiers were portrayed. I mean, this whole Idea that the American Revolution consisted of backwater rebels fighting lines of redcoats is a complete fallacy and Emmerich did history no justice in this film.

We're also lead to imagine the british soldiers simply as a bunch of rigid lines of muskets with legs.......who have no brains and are only good for marching in solid formations across completely open fields.......it makes you wonder how the hell they do the real complicated things like flanking and stuff

Im just really glad the British dragoons got their fair share of action, and that Heath Ledger copped a beauty by Isaacs (best death scene ever.........and funniest).

Hahahah oh yeah, and look out for the extremely very very very interesting and non boring beach wedding scene.............man, it was Pam and Tommy I tell ya!



Dont waste your time or money with this load of crap

Ironmaster (1983)

Entirely spectacularly rivetting depiction of filmmaking gone awry

[11 August 2000]

This movie is a stirring epic set amongst the backdrop of the transitional period between the advent of the cro-magnons and the extinction of the neanderthals. The polar opposition between the two races is clearly shown, especially when the neanderthals attack by simply throwing rocks and the cro-magnons finish them off with their newly invented lightsabres.

Cro magnons were the intelligent ones remember

You see this movie is so rivetting simply because it sucked so much

That Ela guy is beefed up on some anabolic substance and when Eastman finds a large chunk of iron (what was he doing at the volcano anyway?) and with that piece, they invent a way to melt it, cast it, then fashion it into broadswords, which they then use to hack and slash their way through every tribe for no reason

A vey bad movie

Boys Don't Cry (1999)

She's gone to a better place

[6 August 2000]

Boys don't cry is a disturbing psychodelic insight into the depravity of man and how he reacts when encountering something different. Unfortunately I heard how this movie ends so I was constantly skipping parts of the movie that werent interesting. Unfortunately that lead to me gaining only partial insight into what this movie was truly about, so I watched again.....

Hilary Swank looks so much like a man that it is impossible to think the sex scenes between her and Chloe Sevigny arent normal.

The only good feeling you can walk away with after watching this movie is one of relief that Teena Brandon has gone somewhere we noone can hurt her anymore

Summer of Sam (1999)

Crap, crap, crap, crap

[5 August 2000]

I dont know what it is with Spike Lee but I'll admit, I didnt completely expect this film to be solely about the Summer of Sam murders but I expected that aspect of it to be slightly more a part of it than what it was.

ok basically this film is crap. Why? Because it goes from scene to scene without allowing the viewers to make head or tail of what the hell is going on. For instance, we have a lot of italian people in this film, and by chance, one of them enters the film speaking with an English accent. Its absurdities like this, as well as the useless additions of elongated disco dancing scenes, along with the phrase 'Hey......What da hells da matter whicho?' being said about fifty million frickin times throughout the film.

I swear I was hoilding out for some great character development to occur with the Berkowitz character and, when it never happened, I was ready to go and have my own spree in my neighbourhood by the time this rolling piece of cinematic garbage finally finished

Showgirls (1995)

Nowhere near as bad as what is being claimed

[5 August 2000]

This film I think was a first/last ditch effort by Berkley to attempt to gain status within the facade that is Hollywood. Unfortunately it didnt work. She's far too tall.

Apart from that the movie was not as bad as what everyone said. to tell you the truth I wasn't bored for one second because the entire story was so well plotted and the directing was top-notch. Berkley's acting could be maybe one of the main failings however of the film. Actresses who agree to do these types of movies as a debut for their future careers cannot hope to be recognised for sheer guts alone: you have to be able to act otherwise you don't come off looking any better than a porno actor. Speaking of which, I think Chasey Lain could have done a great job in the lead, with maybe jill Kelly or Debi Diamond playing Gershon's role.

Trust me, there are definately worse movies out there: Daylight, Con-air, Thin Red Line, Streetfighter, Summer of Sam, just to name a few

The Sifl & Olly Show (1998–1999)

Best when Drunk

[22 July 2000]

Im very fortunate at the moment that I live in Australia and Sifl 'n' Olly is on MTV on the optus cable network. I first glimpsed at this show about a month ago and was drawn to it straight away. After taping a whole bunch of episodes (and its still running) I find the best fun i can have ever is to knock back about twelve stubbies and watch sifl and olly.....whilst using the music breaks to go and grab another beer. Its a brillaint show, and I like Chester the best because he's always happy......kinda like Swan from 'Cannibal! The Musical'....and he eats sand

Id have to say Stealth is my favourite ....."IM A FAMILY MAN!!!!!!!!!!"

Gladiator (2000)

Ben Hur for the twothousandies Contains SPOILER

[5 May 2000]

In looking at Gladiator one can easily identify with the many other epics made concerning the rise and fall of the Roman Empire as well as everything that went on within.

It was only a matter of time before a movie like this came out, since nowhere can I ever find a movie at the video shop concerned solely with gladiatorial comba.

The nineties and twothousandies is a period now that is demanding that in order for a film to be classed as 'in epic proportions', the film must be something to rival everything that has preceeded it.

The problem nowadays is that everything has been done before. I for one hate being told by the baby boomers that 'they don't make them like they used to anymore'. So am I supposed to simply yield to the fact that, just because 'A night to Remember' was devoid of the technology necessary to make it truly spectacular, that it is a better film than James Cameron's 'Titanic'? Of course not..

The same can be said for Gladiator.

Although one has to put their films in perspective: back in the old days when movies like Spartacus came out, the expectations of the audience fell heavily upon the abilities of the actors. Nowadays you don't have to necessarily have good actors in your film, just bankable ones.

However the casting in Gladiator was so near-perfect that it should have its own category at the academy awards.

Although we could tell Russell Crowe was having the best time of his life, he didn't need to show it in order for us to enjoy the film. Thats where a lot of actors can literally make or break a film. Too many times in films we see 'bit' actors playing 'bit' parts trying to upstage everyone else. Those men playing the roles of the gladiators didn't try and make themselves out to be superheroes through mean facial expressions and such........rather they played their role as they were supposed to.....not trying to draw attention away from what was meant to be happening. Basically its all about actor's needing to know their place.

Russell Crowe was as he should be in this film, brooding, and solemn. One of the creepiest moments of the film was when *SPOILER*, you here him inform the soldier about how snow makes your sword stick within its scabboard, just before he cleaves his head in two.

Joaquin Phoenix was looking slightly heavier in this film and played his role well. I'm wondering what sort of surgeons back in Roman times could have done such a good job with his cleft palate

Richard Harris was looking more and more like Obi-Wan-Kenobi with every camera shot, and Arana played his role well as Quintus (you remember....... Frank Portman from 'the Bodyguard').

All in all a pretty good effort by Ridley Scott, especially with the casting. Although some people may find the ending a bit disappointing the rest of the film holds its own.

Stir of Echoes (1999)

To cover myself here, this review contains *SPOILERS*

[29 April 2000]

When one watches the opening sequence of this film your automatically going to say 'Oh yeah, Sixth Sense rip-off'. Although these two movies were produced very close together, it is difficult to look beyond this rather prevailing aspect and enjoy the film for what it is. Fortunately I thought the Sixth Sense sucked extremely badly............so much that I had such poor expectations for this movie that the worst that could possibly happen would be that I walked out with the same feeling I had walking in.

However, apart from the fact that this little boy can communicate with SOME dead people is as far as the similarities go.

This film opens with Kevin Bacon bathing his son and for some reason we're informed that his wife is pregnant........which does not come into play at any other time during the movie, though I think it is an attempt to inform us of the family's low socioeconomic status

However we also find that the son talks to himself..........

One thing I must point out here is that I really, really, really liked this little kid. I mean, he wasnt the slobbering blubbering messed up basket/head case that Haley Joel is.. oooops I meant his character in the film. As a matter of fact this kid is a bit of tough little guy. He never acts scared, and when he doesnt want to talk to these ghosts, he tells them!

We later find Kevin Bacon being hypnotised by his sister-in-law and apparently being left with what is know as a post-hypnotic-suggestion. However it becomes more than that when we find Kevin seeing things that are about to happen, as well as seeing things that have happened in the past.

Apparently a girl disappeared a short while ago, and we learn that her name is Samantha, and she is one of the ghosts communicating with Kevin's son.

The thing that shocks me the most about murders in movies is the thought of the person as they were in real-life, and then their subsequent reduction to what they become after they have been killed. We are apresent to a simple girl with learning difficulties that probably enjoyed life as much as anyone: had a mother and sister who loved her..................and then we see her, still slightly recognizable, as an ashened, blackened corpse that has been walled up in the basement of Kevin Bacon's home. This brought back memories of the Vanishing, when we see Sandra Bullock's character as being full of life and energy...........and then being systematically reduced to a corpse after she is bruied alive

People tend to complain about the ending to this movie but it actually provided a good change to the usual pschological thriller-style endings (Did I mention I hate the Sixth Sense). You're left with a compulsion to explain to the person next to you in the cinema 'THATS WHY HE'S KILLED HIMSELF!' or in our case it was 'Ah....FEATHERS!'.

But the actual ENDING was creepier than one might think.

One has to wonder about the problems that kid is going to have

Telling Lies in America (1997)

Kevin Bacon is the only redeeming feature of this Turkey

[28 April 2000]

If you read some of the reviews for movies like Jaws 4, Jaws 3, Krull, Jaws 2, Habitat, Jaws 4, Jaws Revenge you get the drift that there are some movies that fall into a category of 'bad'. However with movies like Jaws 4, even though the plot is a little bit silly and the notion of a lion-roaring acrobatic shark doesnt appeal to any(every)one, well thats fair enough. However there are some moments of redemption in any of these films that make them watchable.

However some movies are actually very very very very very painful to watch. You know....movies like Air Force One...where every actor in it is out to make his impact on hollywood by showing us all that they can..............act?

Nothing irks me more than watching movies where the two-bit actors try to outshine the main ones.........whom I generally have zero respect for anyway (actors who do this are Dean Stockwell, David Paymer, any of those idiots from 'friends' and a multitude of others). However there are some actors who are a pleasure to watch no matter what film they are in nor how bad their role is. Kevin Bacon is one of them.

Brad Renfro in this film sounds like a retard with a severe speech impediment (DATS DA TROOD)

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Definitely lacking that *spark*

[6 February 2000]

There were several things that annoyed me about this film, and I'll simply list them as follows.

The list will contain *spoilers*

Queen Amidalas voice. Now yes Natalie Portman is drop-dead gorgeous but there is definitely, DEFINITELY something wrong with her voice that has to be mentioned. Why I dont get is that while she was Queen Amidala her voice transcends from being nice and sweet (padme) to a very hoarse and deep sounding (almost masculine) one. Its highlighted when she says 'I have to go back to naboo' 'We'll have to rely on negotiations' and my favourite 'Get to your ships!'

Im interested to know if anyone else has noticed that. It was just too prevailing for me to look (or hear) past it.

The notion of having the force being systematically butchered down to a biological level is just too fantastic too bear. With all the talk of symbionts at the start I was just waiting for something to appear that was on a parasitic-type level.

Oh yeah, when Obi-Wan Kenobi is trying to catch up with Darth Maul and Qui Gon (after he himself has been kicked off the ledge) to obviously try and get to Maul before he kills Qui Gon, why doesnt he use that ability that both of them displayed at the start to catch up...You know, when they had to escape those rolly poly droid things with the shield generators....they moved at Warrrrrrp speed.

Those damn droids! WHY WHY WHY! I realise its a kid film and we cant show humans getting wasted by lightsabres (well not all the time) but robotic Ducks?

Jar Jar Binks wasnt AS annoying as what some believe him to be, but Anakin definitely was. For starters the kid cant act and why did Lucas Make him C3P0's maker? Does that mean that Luke Skywalker is C3P0's brother? So if we try and work out the odds that the two of meet up the way they do in 'New Hope' one would think the odds would hover around the 1 in a trillion mark.

Also Samuel L Jackson didnt seem content with the fact that his role was VERY minor, so therefore he mustve felt the need to overact a bit. My Favourite part is when one of the Jedi Council members says :

'Impossible! The Sith have been dead for a millennium'

and Samuel goes 'I do not think the Sith could have returned without us knowing'...... ...But Samuel gives a big ehhhhhhhhhhh before his line, as if to give the impression he's contradicting the previous council member's statement, when in fact he's agreeing with it....watch it and see...and be confused

Ian McDiarmid cant act either......since he looks no where even close to what he did when he played Palpatine in the Return of the Jedi, I think Lucas could have gotten away with using someone else (Albert Finney, Jeremy Irons........Cuba Gooding jr)

The only parts I enjoyed were the middle and end lightsabre Duels with Darth Maul.......sigh, and he's only in it for about 10 minutes. However he probably gives the most in-keeping-with-starwars-tradition performance out of everyone.......and he's not even an actor...he's a martial arts stunt double!

He was pretty tough though, not too many people can go crosseyed and give a whince or too after they have been cut in half by a lightsabre

Multiplicity (1996)

For once, the clones arent out to stuff everything up for the original!

[26 January 2000]

I like Michael Keaton. He was perfect in Pacific Heights and is still the 'Sean Connery' of the Batmen.

But the reason I liked multiplicity was because for once, in a movie about clones, the clones werent out to sabotage the original due to their disgruntlement at playing 2nd 3rd and 4th fiddle.

These clones try as hard as they can to abide by the rules and make sure that the original Michael Keaton's life runs as smoothly as possible: after all thats why they were spawned. And it is really amusing listening to the clones refer to Michale Keaton's Character as Doug (or 'Steve' in the case of #4) but are quite happy and comfortable in referring to each other by the numerical order in which they were created.

One of the most hilarious parts of the movie is when rule number one is put to the test....watch it and you'll see what I mean.....and also how number 2 warns number 3 that Dougs wife is going upstairs.............

Some people might think the character of 4 was a bit over the top, but if he had of been any less crazy than what he was..........it wouldnt have come off as well. After all, when a copy of a copy of a human doesnt come out right......you have to wonder what sections have been muddled up....Brain cells, chromosomes, Dna etc.....when you think of that, number 4's character was fairly tame.

A good movie that uses the talents of a good actor.

8/10

Batman (1989)

Keaton is unrecognizable in his costume

[26 January 2000]

The good thing about the casting of Michael Ketaon in this movie is that he is completely unrecognizable when in his Batman suit. He goes from being this little playboy millionaire into this brooding dark warrior that kicks everyones A$%^$. Unlike the less memorable sequels, of which number 4 was the worst (the sexual tension between George Clooney and Chris O'donnell is even more intense than that which is between David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson in the X-Files), Batman 1 is more in the grain of the comic book than any other superhero film.

Too much can be said about Burton's direction and Nicholson's performance, but watch this movie as opposed to numbers 3 and 4 simply because if there was any realism aspect to these films, its at its heighest in number one, and is downgraded to nothing in number 4.

Senseless (1998)

Up there

[19 January 2000]

Its easy for people to get hooked on the gross-out comedies like American Pie and Something about Mary, but when a comedy like this comes along and the actor is obviously having so much fun in the role that the jokes seem natural, its hard to pass 'Senseless' off as being anything but hilarious.

Marlon Wayans really has come about as an actor since Mo Money and that other movie I think it was called 'Dont go dissin your homeboy while drinkin yo juice in the hood', however Mathew Lillard cant seem to break away from that surfer dude retro generation exxer persona that we see in most of his films.

David Spade tries hard but Wayans upstages everyone.

9 out of 10